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Football banquet speech made me sad last night

Discussion in 'Parents Off Topic' started by grantsmom, Nov 17, 2010.

  1. grantsmom

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    This is our son's first year playing football.
    His coaches were great and his fellow team mates were always there for him and very concerned if he wasn't feeling well.
    He was second string and did not get a lot of playing time. The few times he got in he sometimes went low or was too high despite our best efforts with Gatorade and frequent testing. This happened in practice too. i went to every practice and stayed the entire time to test and treat when needed. It was just a tough time.
    We were all so proud that he stuck it out and finished. He really seemed to like it:)
    Last night each coach got to say something special about each player he coached. There were probably 150 people there.
    The coach went on to tell the crowd that our son had Diabetes and even though he did not fully understand Diabetes he admired our son's determination to play football even when he did not feel well. He said when our son felt well he played great, but struggled when he didn't. He said our son reminded him that life is much more than football. It was a from the heart speech and I could tell in no way meant to hurt my son.

    BUT..it made me sad. It has bothered me all day that he was defined by the illness even though it is reality.

    Not sure if he really was sick today, but he woke up saying he was sick and could not go to school...

    I hope it had nothing to do with the speech. We asked him in the car what he thought of his coach tribute to him and he said it was nice. We told him how proud we were of him and kept everything positive.

    SIGH...BIG SIGH
     
  2. Sarah Maddie's Mom

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    Wrong, wrong, wrong. :mad: The coach, no matter how well intentioned, should NOT have raised your son's medical condition in that place, at that time.

    I'm so sorry. I'd be very sad and very angry.

    I'd be tempted to tell my kid that I thought that the coach screwed up and not expect the kid to feel ok about it. He doesn't have to start disliking the coach, but he deserves to have some one acknowledge that the coach was flat out wrong and should not have said what he said. How unfair....:(
     
  3. grantsmom

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    Sarah..
    I have had such mixed emotions on this....and really appreciate your comments and support!

    All the players knew (obviously) and most of the parents because they always saw me at practice testing and treating. Most came over after our son left back to the field and asked me what we were doing. I was happy to educate them on Type 1 D. Most were just in awe that our son stuck with such a hard sport and all made very positive comments. Parents also saw us at games testing on the field and treating.

    In part I was very proud that it was pointed out that he had to deal with something none of the others had to and perservered (sp) but on the flip side it made me sad it was brought up in front of everyone.

    We know our son adores his coach. I did NOT want to make him feel bad about the speech and project my own opinion/issues on him if it did not bother him. Unfortunately he is not the kind of boy that will always really tell you how he feels.:confused:

    To me this is one of the hardest things about keeping D positive....he has always told everyone who asks he is not mad that he has D and it doesn't really bother him..We have worked so hard to make this just a "thing" and not a "bad thing".

    I don't know..just a sad mommy heart now
     
  4. joan

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    I would feel sad too if that was the speech I heard about my son. I also don't think it was right for the coach to talk about your sons condition but he probably did it with good intentions.

    I know YDMV but I think he may need different insulin doses to help his bs levels not affect his playing so much. I would discuss this with his endo. You don't want this to define his ability to play sports and you don't want others to think he can't play as well because of d. It is a challenge but worth it.
     
  5. Sarah Maddie's Mom

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    It is sad. I'm sure if Maddie's lax coach did the same she'd be completely torn. She looks up to her coaches and values their opinions, but she'd be upset that they raised it so publicly.

    I hope your son can let it roll off his back. :cwds:
     
  6. grantsmom

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    Thanks Joan..:)

    We have been working with his Endo. We have struggled from day one with doses and his numbers.

    Some days at practice and games we are "in range" other days with the same doses and foods we are "low" and others "high".

    It is a long story..but we were moving to get off NPH over the summer and got derailed. We are back to heading down that path.
     
  7. grantsmom

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    Thanks Sarah:)

    I just do not know how much to probe. I am going to bring it up again tonight when we have our regular chat before bed.

    I am sure like every parent .... just wish no one had to deal with D.
     
  8. joan

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    I hope things get figured out. My son was on NPH for a long time and it is a tough insulin to predict. The peak of that insulin for us was often unpredictable and changed whenever exercise was involved. As much as I think there are some good indications for using NPH if you are having problems with bs that is the first insulin to change. Good luck to your son.
     
  9. grantsmom

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    Thanks Joan!
     
  10. VinceysMom

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    Cindy,

    We struggled too with numbers during football. My husband went to every two-a-day practice in August midway thru to help with lunches, counting carbs, etc...and then to all the dinners before games, etc. Somedays Vince was very high from adrenaline, some days lower, everyday different than the day before, we never knew one day to the next what would happen.

    I think the coach was probably basically very PROUD of your son for working so hard and having to deal with his medical issue as well...your son had to work EXTRA hard and had many other obstacles to deal with than any other boy on that team, and he DID IT! where others may have given up. The coach probably just didnt know how to say it the right way, sigh.

    As we know, it does take a lot to be an athlete, (dancer, musician, etc.,) and take care of D at the sametime.

    Take care,
    Kathy
     
  11. sam1nat2

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    we also had a hard time with numbers during football season and a horrible a1c to show for it.
    I'm sorry that the speach upset you and your son. I can see how its very emotional, however it does sound like a great coach how admires your son
     
  12. kiwiliz

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    We have also had trouble with sport - our d educator sent this link; http://www.diabeteshealth.com/read/...ten-raises-blood-glucose-in-type-1-diabetes-/

    If you want to get on top of his sport you have to log what type of exercise he is doing his numbers and the amount of carb he needs while he is doing his exercise. It is very Mum intensive - but perhaps the only way to know how he is going to react from day to day. You will probably have to lower basal some days (with the pump for us this has been around 15%).

    Hard work but worth it if they really love their sport. Had you thought about pumping - it may well be a bit more flexible.
     
  13. skimom

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    i agree with an earlier comment - i think the coach was proud and impressed with your son. When coaches and team mates see one of their own struggle through things like diabetes,yet still participate and contribute it can be inspiring and humbling for them.
    Sometimes the best lesson on diabetes is working alongside someone who battles it daily.
    My daughter spent a ski week with family friends - both parents are cardiologists. They were great at helping my daughter stay on track with the diabetes. When they brought her home at the end of the week, both parents pulled me aside and said that that week with my daughter made them realize that they had no idea how hard diabetes management was and the dad even said " my patients always tell me that it isn't easy to manage diabetes and I thought they were just complaining- now I get what they mean as I had no clue it was so hard"
    The coach of your son is impressed by your child - enjoy the compliment and congratulate your son-he is teaching everyone on the team a very valuable lesson.
     
  14. grantsmom

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    Thanks Skimom...It appears he took it as a positive too. :)
     
  15. grantsmom

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    Thanks to everyone who posted too...it is nice when someone else understands.:cwds:
     
  16. alismom

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    The first line that Allison's diving coach said in his speach was "she is our first bionic diver". She wears both an omnipod and dexcom. That was at the banquet with 50 swimmners and at least as many parents and siblings. I don't think others really realize that we don't want our children defined by diabetes.
     

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