1) I feel really crappy about my overreaction to a discussion about infant formula maybe causing diabetes... Ive been thinking about it and Im just so embarrassed. I dont have much more to say about it except I sounded like an idiot (and maybe I do again now...idk) 2) I feel like I take one step forward and ten back. Since dd dx I have had a totally clean house maybe twice. The laundry is a mountain in my room pretty much every day, I want to take care of it but I also just dont care till the time I get a call from dh that he will be home soon. I feel so guilty that hes out working in the heat and Im just feeling sad and not being the wife I was. I stress about my children's diet, sometimes they eat great but I cook chicken nuggets like 5 time a week for lunch and I know its crap but its easy. I feel so out of (I guess the word Im looking for is) control... Im not myself Im so overwhelmed. I love my children so much and I use to think I was a great Mom it was the one thing I was proud of myself for but more often than not I feel like a failure. Before I go to bed I tell myself all the things I need to do the next day and really talk myself into believing that it will be a better day. Then Im up much of the night and too tired to do what I wanted to do the night before. I feel so alone, that no one likes me and then silly for thinking this way because its pretty dramatic. I feel like a different person and my old self is screaming at my new self to get a grip. I never could stand dramatic people but now I think like one 99% of the time. I hate when people feel sorry for themselves and now I feel sorry for myself. I cant believe I feel how I feel... I dont just sit and cry (all the time) I keep my kids busy as best as I can but not as much as before. I use to read to my son every night now it doesnt happen very often and its my fault I know it and yet well Im just tired. I worry my dd with get bottle rot teeth because when she is low at night I give her a bottle of milk. I worry that my kids will think Im a bad mom when they grow up and look back. I just want my old self back I was optimistic, too happy for some people to stand, and care free. This new reality is hard for me.