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Do I always need to be the Parent In Charge??

Discussion in 'Parents of Children with Type 1' started by Kirsten, Nov 10, 2009.

  1. Kirsten

    Kirsten Approved members

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    I admit it. I'm a bit of a control freak when it comes to Griffin's D care. It took a long time for me to trust DH to use his own judgment. I still do all the basal adjustments, etc.

    Well, since DH has been unemployed for almost a year, I have gradually been trying to give him more space to handle things since he's the one at home, BUT he's still making it hard for me. Griffin's latest A1C, though not horrible, was the highest A1C he's had in 3.5 years!! He just doesn't seem to take BG control seriously!

    For example last night: Griffin is up at 3:30am peeing and drinking water. DH gets up to check BG. He gets into bed, I ask the result. BG is 350. he thinks it's a rebound (I think: that's odd we haven't had one since we got the dog and they were vanishingly rare before that) and didn't give a full correction. I ask did you check his site? Did you check ketones? Nope. Rolls over to go to sleep. I get up check site. Blood in cannula. Obviously we need a pod change. Seriously, do I really need to remind him to check the site when we have an unexpected HI????

    Of course, I didn't get back to sleep since I needed to go to work at 5:30am. That obviously doesn't help my attitude, but I am completely fed up with being the responsible parent!!!

    Anyone want to join me in a pity party???

    Kirsten
     
  2. danismom79

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    Well I'm the only parent, period, so I'm pretty busy with my own constant pity party. I will happily contribute appetizers to yours. I'd be pretty annoyed if I felt like I had to double-check someone else all the time.
     
  3. Reese'sMom

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    My husband is always way too timid in correcting highs. I guess the confidence needed to handle things aggresssively comes with experience.
     
  4. Becky Stevens mom

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    I'll join in, my husband chooses to play dumb about diabetes. He also chooses to not read about or ask questions about d either. Sure makes his life easier. If you have to get up at 5:30 to go to work then he should be picking up that ball and running with it.
     
  5. momma_fish2007

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    I can totally join in the party, I'll bring the cake!

    My hubby (whom I love ever so dearly) JUST started a new job a week ago coming off of being unemployed for almost a year also. So he has been off of work almost since day one of dx and I would guess him at MAYBE doing 5% of the care. Which now is understandable because I'm home and he's off earning a living but it doesn't excuse up til now. And I also suffer with being a control freak. Now we've gotten to the point where even if they DID want the d control we'd be loathe to give it to them.
     
  6. mom2Hanna

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    I can bring drinks to the party. I have always been the primary caregiving parent and that includes diabetes care. My dh lacks confidence in what he does and my daughter prefers me to do everything.
     
  7. heamwdevine

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    I can join in with you, unfortunately.:rolleyes:
     
  8. Kirsten

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    I would *really* hate to be doing this alone. Have a drink of your choice on me!
     
  9. Jace's Mommy

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    UGH ! At least we aren't alone !
    I rearly leave my son with the husband.
    I went to a baby shower the other day and all my DH was responsiable for was giving my DS a snack!!! NO bs check, NO insulin, NO nothing, Just give the kid a snack !
    Well I get home and say"What did Jace have for snack?"
    My husband responded with "Oh S*it !!!!!!!"
    Thank Goodness he didn't go low !
    UGH
     
  10. Mom_to_4_Princesses

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    Ditto this! I try to encourage Bella and DH to do insulin on the one morning I get to sleep in, but she won't have it, and he gives in..... then eventually I do as well. It gets to me sometimes and sometimes I tell him so. Why do I have to be the one that does everything and takes control? He just doesn't think it is as serious as I do sometimes is how I feel. That said, he is an awesome father and does do his share when he HAS to.... I think he feels more comfortable with letting me take control. :sigh: Dessert anyone??
     
  11. curediabetes14

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    Wow this is going to be a big part!!!

    I can definately relate. We have been doing this for just over 6 years, he had more of a clue on mdi, but now no clue! It would just be nice to have him to confer with instead I have to call my mom. I am grateful that I at least have her.
     
  12. 2type1s

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    I'll bring the drinks! Yep...My dear husband is a toxicologist. He programs million dollar mass spectrometers and gas chromatographs (I totally guessed at the spelling of those) and does science experiments FOR A LIVING!!!!! Why does he not know how to run a temp basal?
     
  13. Deal

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    Just don't throw us all under the bus! In our household I'm the the obsessive one.
     
  14. jewlzann

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    so glad someone finally mentioned this

    I am literally exhausted...I can join your party. Right now I am not working outside the home. But I still feel he needs to help in the evening. My opinion is the less he does, the less he knows. My daughter is already very reluctant to let him give the lantus. Granted we are still relatively new.

    I don't know, it is like the more I do, the less he does. Literally, I go bed in tears alot lately. And he is already snoring, when I do..
     
  15. brownkkeb

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    Joining in and toasting you all with my wine glass in hand!

    Last poster made me laugh with the snoring thing - ongoing issue with DH and me. I'm the one doing the majority of all household stuff, including D. DH goes for physical, ask him to mention his snoring, doctor says he's basically very fit, "don't worry about it". REALLY?

    And since DH works 12 - 14 hours per day, I'm the one handling it all, DH has done 1 pod change in 18 months, and no CGM at all since starting 6 months ago. Doesn't even know how to silence alarms on CGM receiver.
     
  16. momma_fish2007

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    I don't know about everyone else but I assume they're thinking the same as me that it's not a husband thing so to say but more about the lesser of the two caregivers. Even that is worded wrong, I just mean is isn't moms against dads so much as the primary D caregiver venting about some of the non-primary D caregivers not pulling their weight and/or even being irresponsible. So don't take it personally :) Have a drink and pull up a chair
     
  17. Mom2Deacon

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    I am too the only parent and there are days I really wish I wasn't. Like today when I feel as though diabetes has put me on Scare Tactics.

    --Sara
     
  18. alismom

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    Ditto, two years-2 site changes-no sensor changes-no basal changes-no temp basal-no books-very frustrating
     
  19. sugarmonkey

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    Ditto, Sara.
     
  20. RosemaryCinNJ

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    I do ALL Amandas diabetes care...Amanda has been pumping now for 3 weeks ..DH has yet to pop in the CD and do pump school....so until he does..and he will SOON because I could get hit by a bus tomorrow or something..then what? back to MDI? I dont think so!!
     

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