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Depressed

Discussion in 'Parents of Children with Type 1' started by Tracy1918, Sep 1, 2010.

  1. Tracy1918

    Tracy1918 Approved members

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    I posted this on the General Discussion thread....then realized I really need help from type 1 parents...so I'm reposting here. Forgive me.......

    Hi Everyone.....My 9-year-old son was diagnosed with type 1 in March of this year. At first, I was doing great---I guess going on adrenaline.

    In August, everything hit me and I'm just so down. All I want to do is sleep all day. I'm eating poorly, not exercising....I feel terrible from the lack of sleep and not taking care of myself. I know I need to do better, but I don't feel like it.

    I had my yearly OBGYN appointment today. My doctor is very understanding and said she would prescribe medication for me if I want her to do that. But I'm not sure what to do. I thought maybe I'd give it a couple more weeks and see how it goes....

    Has this happened to any of you? I would love any advice. I feel really alone right now.
     
  2. Sarah Maddie's Mom

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    Really, I think we've all been there.:(

    It's great that you are seeing your Dr (I think it's common for care givers to focus so much on the child that they don't care for themselves) and that you have her support. It's a very personal decision - there's no shame in trying a course of meds to see if they help. But just bear in mind that you aren't feeling lousy because you're weak, or giving into the blues. Caring for a D kid, especially the first year, is profoundly stressful and taxing. Whether you try meds or yoga or napping, just remember that it's your call, and that you need to be patient with yourself and don't judge yourself unkindly. :cwds:
     
  3. Melancholywings

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    I hit the same point and am now just crawling out of it. After dx I was completely focused on DD's needs and ignored my own grief until it finally caught up to me and then the depression set it. What has helped me is talking to the people around me and being honest with it. Not DD of course - but the adults who want to support me.
     
  4. valerie k

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    HUGS... we all have hit that time in our lives. Its hard. There is nothing wrong with taking the medication if you think it will help. Many people you dont even know are taking meds... there is no shame in that. I myself take meds.... have for years. It probably saved me from the deep hurt zone your in now. Please realize, that we are always here, 24/7 if you need to talk or vent... we all have that BTDT t-shirt hanging in the closet. :D
     
  5. StillMamamia

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    Sending you hugs. I've been there and it's tough. Whatever you chose, I hope you feel better soon.:cwds:
     
  6. Becky Stevens mom

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    Oh yes Tracy, Ive been in that tunnel. And it is very dark and lonely in there:( I was the same way at first, just surviving and then almost a year after I had some sort of a breakdown. I was so physically and emotionally exhausted I could barely function. I chose to go into therapy and have been active in here and on FB where Ive found tremendous support and kindness from everyone. For me that has helped so much, the knowing that Im not alone in this even though I feel like I am in my home life now. I remember that there are all these people all over the world dealing with diabetes every day like I do. One of the most important things you can do is something for yourself every day. Whether its going for a walk or out to lunch with a friend, laying on the couch with a good book. I have several friends in here that have chosen to take medication for depression and feel that its helping them to get up and start moving through that tunnel again, they even see light at the end now:cwds: I want that for you too
     
  7. kim5798

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    There is no shame in taking the meds if you need them. Try to make sure you are taking care of you--if you are not healthy, you can't take care of everyone else. I have been there myself. Seeing a therapist can be helpful for some people as well. A "real life" support group is most helpful, but if that is not available or possible with your schedule, remember that CWD is a giant support group too!!

    Hang in there:)
     
  8. NomadIvy

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    Tracy, hugs and hugs. I'll PM you. You're not alone.. and, yes, a lot of us has been there, are still there..and some might just be hiding it well.
     
  9. MTMomma

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    I think it is really a good thing that you are able to identify what you are feeling and that you have a doctor you can trust. Please know you are not alone. Sending thoughts your way. Please do one thing right now that is just for you. (I love a good long soak in the bath.)
     
  10. lil'Man'sMom

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    Tracy - I am so sorry that you are feeling this way. I think that most PCWD, have grieving period within the first year of diagnoses. Diabetes is a very life altering, overwhelming at times, disease. Please know that you are not alone.

    I do think it is good to see your Doctor. I would also recommend finding a local support group. I dont think I would have made it through the first year without CWD and my local group.

    (((Big HUGS)))
     
  11. lauraqofu

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    I take medication, and have for years. I'm bipolar, and if I don't take it...well I'm not a lot of fun, let's just leave it at that.

    As the others have said...this sucks. And not, "Oh shoot, I have a flat tire." sucks, but majorly, completely sucks. It's scary, and shocking and so damn wrong and unfair. And somehow, we have to get through from each blood sugar check to the next from one carb ratio to another, and do it with strength and not show our precious babies how much it hurts and scares us.

    Of course, you're depressed. What kind of parent would be okay with having to stick their child with needles all day long? We do the best we can, but we have to realize that we have feelings about this, that we have fear and sadness and grief. You need to have some time for you, and you need to have someone to whom you can vent your feelings.

    No one can tell you if medication is the best choice for you, but there is no shame in taking medication.
     
  12. Emma'sDad

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    Hi Tracy,

    I agree with the others, I think we've all been there. I say wait it out. Try to find some time for yourself (enjoy the little things that make YOU happy) and also spend some quality time with your little guy. He needs to know that you didn't abandon him eventhough he 'changed'.

    At first, I'd go from mad to angry, sad and depressed about the whole thing. Trying to figure out how scientifically I could make this work, but there are too many variables in the formulas, and most are unknowns. So I learned to accept what was going on and literally ride the wave of BGs.

    Just a couple of weeks ago, I drove to a foreign country (the US) alone with my diabetic daughter so that I can meet some of you and also let Emma meet the kids that brought us all together. Go back in time 5 years to ask me if this trip would have ever happened, I probably would have broken down and cried saying that it's impossible. Everything is possible, you just have to set your mind to it.

    Cheer up, You can do it...you'll get by!!
     
  13. Daniel's Mom 1993

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    I was there too, I did see a therapist for several months but medication is what truly got me to where I could funtion again and focus on something besides Diabetes. I took it for about 9 months then weaned myself off so it does not have to be permanant but can get you over the hump. Then I met some other Moms in my area(through CWD- a little strange to meet someone on line but they are all great and true friends:)) and that really has helped having some support of people who are living it too - we meet every other month and a few us have Mom's Night Out every now and then. My friends and family are supportive but they don't understand because they are not in it everyday, every hour every breath (or bite:D) Don't feel like you are alone - we all have been there and even after 3 years I still get down sometimes but it has gotten to be less and less that it happens and easier to pick myself up and move on.
     
  14. MissMadisonsMom

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    Tracy,
    You are where I was about a year ago. I was sad all the time, I wanted to nap all day long. I was not a pleasant person to be around because I either snipped at everyone or welled up with tears. It took me a while to realize that what I was feeling was not who I am and it seemed to be getting worse. I was getting tired of feeling that way so I went to my dr. She mentioned the word depression and I said no, I can't be... :) Yep, I was! I had no idea what had caused it, but after talking with my doc I realized that I had bottled up all the grief I was feeling because of Madison being diagnosed with d. My life was going in a path that I hadn't expected or planned on. She said sometimes our system gets into a low cycle and just needs a boost to get out. She prescribed Welbutrin. I was so hesitant to take it, but decided to just give it a try... It worked. I took it for about 16 weeks and the emotional difference was incredible. I was back to my normal self. I stopped taking it after the 16 weeks and am still going strong. I just needed a little kick-start like doc said.

    Good luck with your personal decision. I know it's difficult to know the right thing to do for yourself, but the first step has been taken -- you know that you are not yourself and that there is a problem, one that you can handle.
     
  15. 3boys1girl

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    Like others have said, I think most parents have been where you are now. I think those that mentioned grief have hit the nail on the head. I know for myself that I experienced the usual shock, sadness, anger, etc. What stayed with me through it all was an overwhelming sense of grief. As parents it is our job to care for our children and to "fix" things so that they can be as whole as possible. Faced with T1, I tried desperately for a while, and then realized that I couldn't fix it or make it go away. We just have to learn how to live with it the best way that we can. I feel for myself that in some measure we will always carry that sense of grief. Life can get better, but it will never be what we thought it would be. Our children have lost the freedom of being a child without all that goes with T1, and we have lost the freedom of just being a parent, and not worrying all the time.

    I guess it's a coming to terms with the situation. Some seem to move through the stages more quickly. I do think that this board will help. I just recently joined and we are coming up on five years since dx. We have not had much real support, and I do think that makes a difference in how quickly you "feel better". Plus we are so consumed with caring for our children, constantly trying to learn how to make D better, that we often don't have the time to even examine our own feelings. Someone else mentioned this, be patient with yourself. That is so important. Remember there are many who don't understand, because they really can't. There are those who live it every day. I wish I had joined CWD immediately after dx. I know it would have helped me. Just knowing that you aren't alone helps. Don't feel quilty about taking care of yourself. I am hoping that your days will be better and brighter.
     
  16. Tyson'smom

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    I went through the same thing - my ds was diagnosed in November and I cried daily until March and then asked my doctor for antidepressant. It made me feel 100% better and instead of being a gloomy gus I felt like my happy go lucky self again. Don't suffer any longer than you have to - I say go for the meds! And don't let Diabetes rain on your parade!!
     
  17. Annapolis Mom

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    I'm a big fan of doing what's right for you, but here's my happy story about meds.

    When I was diagnosed with depression, I really didn't think I was depressed. I just thought I was having a hard time dealing with being a mother.

    The doctor told me to try the pills for 6 weeks. He said that if I was depressed they would help, and if they didn't help, I would just stop taking them.

    I tried them and it only took 10 days for me to feel incredibly better. I have been on them ever since and I love life.

    This was long before Hannah was diagnosed, but I am certain I was able to handle that difficult time much better than if I wasn't taking the meds.

    Best wishes, do what's right for you, and consider giving the meds a try. You can always go off them if they're not right for you.
     
  18. SarahKelly

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    I hear you...my best advice is to just get out and keep moving. You don't need to pretend to be happy or to have it all together, but I do believe that the more active we are the better able we are to deal with things. Diabetes is overwhelming, even for my husband who has had it for 21yrs, still feels the dark pull sometimes over what he knows is a life of finger pokes, insulin shots and unpredictableness. It's been 9 months since our son's diagnosis and it's been the most difficult time in our marriage and in my life. Never have I felt so lost, depressed and angry. But then again I remind myself that we're all here, we're alive, we're not alone and everything will be okay. Something that has helped me is starting my blog, reading other d mom blogs and making talking about it a priority through going to parent of CWD meetings and never feeling shame for asking more questions of the endo team. But above all keeping active has helped me to not get too consumed with the sad feelings.
    Take care and know you're not alone. We're here.
     
  19. KHM

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    I can't tell you how incredibly validating it has been to scan all these posts of support to the OP...I was quickly reading over to the end so I could offer my own support and I found myself being buoyed by all of the people who have been here, done this.

    So here I am: hand up in the air to show you I am one more Mommy who is right with you. Some people are able to manage the stress and depression with activities or breaks, other people do better with talking, still others with medication. I've always found it pretty ironic that the non-medical treatments for depression require people to do exactly what it is they're not able to do....dude: if I could get my butt out of the house and go for a swim I totally wouldn't need that advice!

    So there. I was skeptical when my doc suggested I try the antidepressants, didn't think I was "really" depressed. Whatever I was, the medication is holding in check. Do something for yourself---if the only thing you can do right now that you find acceptable is to pick up a prescription, do that. If you later choose another option, that's OK, too.

    Feel better. Let yourself recover from all of this in the time you need for it. I remember having my first baby and thinking that I'd build a cocoon around she and I; nothing else would matter---I would just make sure that she and I had what we needed and the rest could wait. That's how I feel about Lindsay's diabetes. She and I first, the rest comes when it does.
     
  20. SarahKelly

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    I guess I don't jump to the usage of antidepressants because they don't work for me and actually have the opposite effect, however if you find that they work for you than it's great. I just know that I live in an area where SAD and depression are relatively common due to the climate, so I find it's best to try all avenues possible and when I say be "active" I don't just mean with exercise but through joining parent groups that have children with longterm medical conditions. Being out with family, friends, co-workers...etc. I just think that often when we're feeling at our worst we need to keep going, finding ways to let our feelings out even if it's for a walk around the block where we cry the whole time...
    I don't know, just what I found after YEARS of dealing with depression and finally realizing that the antidepressants are part of the problem, for me, not for most but for me.
    I hope you find what works for you. I hope you never feel alone and can allow yourself to truly grieve knowing it's normal.
    Take care.
     

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