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"can you eat that"

Discussion in 'Parents of Children with Type 1' started by TheTestingMom, Oct 24, 2013.

  1. TheTestingMom

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    How offended does your T1D get when asked this?

    It really is a hot button for my son. In my opinion he shouldn't have to defend or explain what he eats. Frankly it's no one's business. And it really sends him over the edge if it's asked by a family member. We've educated my in-laws over and over and yet just recently my step-father in-law asked him at a birthday party if he was allowed to eat cake (as it was being served). DS was pissed and said something rude to FIL. Honestly I can't blame him.
     
  2. missmakaliasmomma

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    My daughter's had D for four years and we're still asked that. It doesn't bother me. I'm actually glad people care enough to stop and ask before just giving.. A lot of people misunderstand t1 and I think we all have to realize that. It's better to keep on educating people so eventually they WILL understand than to get mad. A lot of people don't think my daughter can eat any kind of sugar.. we all know that's not true..

    She doesn't get mad, she just tells people that she can only eat what I give her. Maybe in time she will get pissed when people ask, but I hope not. I hope she will want to educate other people on it.
     
  3. Lexie251

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    I don't know if it upsets my 7 year old as much as it does me. I really have to stress to other people she can have what she wants in moderation. I think a lot of people think type 2. I have heard so many stories that are upsetting and by the end I figured out there either type 2 or a type 1 that never took care of themselves!!!! I'm glad people care and want her to be healthy but it's special occasions like birthdays, holidays or class parties that I want her to feel she can be just like everyone else!
     
  4. Sarah Maddie's Mom

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    Well, it's rude to ask anyone that. And yes, my kid dislikes it when people make like comments, though I don't think she hears it often.

    I don't know how old your son is but if he's under 15 or so I'd say take it upon yourself to re-educted those "educated" in-laws. I'd probably send an email and follow up with a call. It's rude and intrusive and obnoxious and they need to learn to that's it's not appropriate to ask a person living with Type 1 that question...ever.
     
  5. rakgyk

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    I get annoyed but not angry. Many people just don't know anything about type 1. When Gavi was first diagnosed I thought, ok so everything will have to be sugar free from now on and he will be ok. Luckily I have encountered too many people questioning our food choices for Gavi.
     
  6. nanhsot

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    Does it annoy? YES
    Do I let that show? NO

    My glib answer is "he's got a pocketful of insulin, of course he can eat whatever he wants to."
     
  7. Beach bum

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    My daughter once responded, taking a huge bite, licking her lips. Yep. Can you?
     
  8. Mish

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    It REALLY ticks my son off, and it's the same here, the same people who should know ( 8 years into this) always ask. Mine won't say anything, he's just that kind of kid, but usually it embarrasses him enough that he'll walk away from whatever it was that he was trying to eat. Which is when I have to jump in. It's one of the only things that really bother him.
     
  9. kirsteng

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    It's a terrible thing to ask - especially in a time of celebration. It brings their disease to the spotlight, singles them out, and takes away from the actual event. I think people are usually well-meaning on this one, but it doesn't make it a good thing to ask.

    My son is too young to understand yet.. and I also take it as an opportunity to educate about T1. Maybe in 10 more months it will make me more irritated... ;)
     
  10. misscaitp

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    It doesn't annoy me at all now, but it used to, especially after saying I could they would try to say, "I'll bring you something else instead so you don't go into a diabetic coma."

    My response is almost an automatic speech, that yes I can have, I just have to take insulin. I guess I've just heard it so much that it's a normal question when hanging out or meeting new people.

    I actually laughed a bit when my professor asked do sugar-free skittles exist (for an experiment) because she was worried about me eating skittles for this project.
     
  11. Megnyc

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    I don't get offended but I do get annoyed.

    A few weeks back we went to visit my boyfriend's family in his Minnesota hometown. His mom seemingly bought out the entire sugar free section of the grocery store. This included every kind of diet soda (which they call "pop" which I find very silly) as well as diabetic bread. As in, "BREAD FOR YOUR DIABETIC LIFESTYLE" in bold capital letters on it. I didn't even know there was such a thing as diabetic bread! Anyway I thanked them for the effort and expressed how much I appreciated it but explained that while I sometimes limit carbs, 99% of the time I eat a normal diet. Later on after they were horrified that I ordered dessert (which was a small sorbet) with everyone else while out to dinner, I did a whole explanation of how the only difference between me and a 19 year old with a healthy pancreas is that I have a pump that gives me a little insulin every few minutes and then when I eat I get a big dose of insulin just like a normal pancreas would. His mom (a Mayo clinic educated surgeon) looks at me and goes, "but isn't it bad to use more than the minimum amount of insulin." So yeah, I have officially given up. I am thinking next time she asks "Can you eat that?" I will say, "Nope" and continue eating :p:rolleyes::cool:
     
  12. Connie(BC)Type 1

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    Upsets me to this day if they should know better(some are truly concerned and I explain why I can eat anything I please), I ask them if they can do something(that they obviously can do, like speak or hear) in return, in a sarcastic way!
     
  13. obtainedmist

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    I just say she can eat anything as long as she covers it with the right amount of insulin!
     
  14. Nobby1

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    The only time this upsets me is when it is asked by someone who is part of our lives on a regular basis, because I think that they should care enough to make it their business to know the facts.
     
  15. ksartain

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    This is me as well. When the waitress at IHOP asks if he can have pancakes, I take it as an education opportunity and explain that as long as I can put insulin in him, he can have anything.

    But when my husband's mother makes some comment like that, I snap. We've been dealing with this for almost 11 months now. What can't you get through your thick skull?????? Really, she's the only one in our family who is around the kids on a regular basis who absolutely does not get T1D. Of course, since it doesn't directly involve her, what does she care. *sigh*
     
  16. missmakaliasmomma

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    My daughter has been dealing with it for 4 years and my family still asks me about food, sugars, everything. You wouldn't know they've been around D for 4 years now. My parents don't really understand t1 either. Some people don't understand things quickly. I don't get mad. If they don't understand, they don't understand. Not everyone understands on the same level as everyone else. I think everyone needs to be a little more patient with people. How many of us understood what t1 was before our child was dxd? I feel lucky that I am asked: can she eat that, can she drink this? It shows that people care. If they didn't care, they wouldn't bother. My dad won't even give my daughter diet soda before asking me first. I feel like my daughter is very lucky to have so many people in her life that care about her and if that love comes along with "can you eat this" questions, so be it. There are so many other things to worry about, I don't really think this should be one of them.

    I know I thought at dx that my daughter wouldn't be able to eat sugar, because I automatically thought t2. I was a nursing student at the time and actually had some medical knowledge and I was still very uneducated on t1. I very recently just started opening up more food choices to my daughter because (since we've discovered the miracle of prebolusing while using apidra, those spikes are very under control compared to previously) I realized that just by changing a few things, she really can eat anything and I can keep her sugar under somewhat good control even at parties. AND after 4 years, we can finally do pizza =) So, it's taken me a long time too to truly understand. I give people a lot of credit for actually showing an interest in my daughter's diabetes.
     
  17. mamattorney

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    I don't get mad. Heck, until 2 days ago, I thought vomiting was part of the flu. I may know a lot about T1, but I know zip about most other things.

    Now keep in mind, I've also only done this for less than a year, which means that I haven't been repeating the same thing to people for years and years and years.
     
  18. missmakaliasmomma

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    You learn something new all the time. Learning is an awesome thing. Come to think of it, I might've been more upset with people asking me questions in the beginning, because I was still so upset about it. Maybe I'm just more relaxed now so things don't bother me nearly as much.
     
  19. TripleThreat

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    I get asked that all the time, I don't get mad I just take the time to educate. I just say I need to take insulin for it, candy, cake, pop we dose for the same as we do for turkey potatoes and vegetables. I usually don't let them know the sweets are in moderation cause even without diabetes I wouldn't let them live on candy and chip and pop.
     
  20. wilf

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    The best response to the question "Can you eat that?" is to ask "Can you?".. :cwds:
     

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