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Camp tells me NOW they won't take him.

Discussion in 'Parents of Children with Type 1' started by Jennifer126, Jun 30, 2013.

  1. Jennifer126

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    After diagnosis on Saturday in January I called all of the schools and camps that would be involved in our lives over the next few months.... on Monday. The lady answering the phones at the camp assured me they have two rn's on at all times and it would be fine. This was to be my son's first time going to this camp where my daughter goes and loves. They run a tight ship and I really trusted that they had it under control. I did however call a few more times and the lady at the desk kept telling me it was fine. I even mentioned it again when I physically went there to drop off the required medical form that everyone gets..... I told her it would be a good idea if I talked to either the director, the woman in charge of the munchkins, or the nurses..... nothing came of it. The first time I get a call is when I am in Disney last week and still, it will be fine. Orientation on Wednesday I meet the nurses and all of a sudden it is a major issue. One of the nurses works in the ER, and the other is a stay at home Mom who is a substitute school nurse. At first the big panic is the pump.... what if it rips out how do we put it back. I keep telling them I am willing to come the whole first week if necessary and we left it at that I would be there Monday and we would take it from there..... I don't want them to replace the pump site. The camp is 7 minutes from my house! I have never been far even when my non D daughter was there!! I never got to see his schedule..... so that drove me a little crazy.... cause how can I tell them when he needs to be tested??? They then tell me on FRIDAY they need clearance from the doctor.... so I get it. The endo sends over a plan which is completely too much since, again, we have no schedule!!! For goodness sake they do art, cooking and ceramics!! He doesn't need to be tested for those or for the walks around the camp!! High rops, low ropes..... um not a big deal they hold a rope above their head and walk on one below... in the shade and most of the time waiting their turn..... don't need to be tested. Even the dancing is on the border and only if it's hot. Swim he will need testing and eating. Any other sport at this level isn't that much exercise! The heat is a concern for me and always has been.
    So after much resistance from one nurse while speaking with my team, the director was going to "sleep on it" and make a call today. At this point I don't even trust for him to be there the full days anymore and I would only agree to mini days..... but what can I do? This is my daughters favorite place in the world! Do I fight with them and pull her too? Do we all need to go through this? I cried for 3 hours or more yesterday. My son will have to go back to the daycare he has been at, and while I love them there for taking care of him so well (not one nurse btw) he HATES it there. I am so broken for him and for me for not having one easy situation since diagnosis.

    To top my whole situation off, my husband is in Arkensas for work and we just found out that we will be moving there...... in probably 6 weeks.
     
  2. greenpalm

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    I don't really have an answer for you, but I wanted to say that's rotten, and I'm really sorry.

    Crying with you.

    I think I would fight it, if I were you. Mostly because your son is going to be disappointed, and that makes the Mama Bear in me angry, and because my daughter cried and cried the week after diagnosis when we discovered she wouldn't be able to go to Girl Scout camp. (And a week after diagnosis, was not the time for me to fight anything, I would fight it now, and may get her there in a year or two.)

    They aren't being fair to you.
     
  3. Sarah Maddie's Mom

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    Personally, I would probably keep at it and try and make it work, though it obviously will take a lot of effort on your part.

    I'm unclear about who you are dealing with - the nurse or the director of the camp. In hindsight, it would have been better to have communicated directly with the camp director from the get go and documented the conversation so that everything would be clear.

    As it stands you have two options. You can either attempt to force them to do the right thing and frame it as discrimination ( which it clearly is) or you can appeal to their better nature and patiently and methodically develop a plan that reassures them even if it is more oversight than you think your son needs.

    Since time is short and you have both children to consider, I would probably attempt the latter, if at all possible.

    Hope you can work it out.
     
  4. LoveMyHounds

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    I don't get it :confused:. You're basically there.....

    When my DD used to do day camps at the lake run by our town (before dx), there was a diabetic girl there, she was 3 or 4. Her mother was coming to check her BG before snack. No nurses there, just teen camp counselors.
     
  5. Jennifer126

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    I am just so drained. It is discrimination but can they? It's not a state run place. As it stands Jillina is going and Joe is not. Still waiting to hear what the director is comfortable with... It's all just so sad. I am afraid of pushing too hard and then having something go wrong and I look like an idiot. But at the same time I really really think he can do it. Maybe if it is going to be too hot I keep him home.... the councelors are teenagers and the director is also saying how can I put this on them... if something goes wrong they will have to live with it. I personally say that there are councelors there with diabetes and on the pump... why can't they be moved to his group?
    There is no future at this camp. We are moving. If and when we move back it's not going to be to this town. So I am trying not to destroy my daughter as well. I am frustrated because I am torn between having my daughter stand by her brother and the fact that well, she has been through enough due to this too.... tons of attention on him and all that. It's kinda like it's not going to happen again and all.... it's just for now and a one time deal. They have older kids with diabetes it's really, again, due to his age. Please, please Please tell me this getts better?!!? I can't take this type of fight for the rest of our lives!!!
    Sorry if I am not making a ton of sense and responding to everything I am so confused and my brain is fried.
     
  6. sooz

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    Your son is only three. He is not going to know if his sister goes to this camp and he doesn't get to go because of D unless you make a big thing of it. If they won't take him just drop him off at day care and then take her to the camp. If he were ten I would answer differently, but he's three. It's ok. It stinks but it will be ok. I am not even familiar with the concept of a three year old going to camp.
     
  7. Jennifer126

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    I finally recieved a copy of the schedule and oh COME ON!!!!!!!!!!! Everything is either in the shade or in the AC! There are three activities that are on the more active side..... but at this age they don't really "play" they learn and aren't really doing that much.....
    I am no longer interested in a full day..... I just don't feel it is a good idea for anyone.... especailly if they are uncomfortable but a mini day which ends at 12:30 would be fine.
    He has been swimming 30 minutes once a week since before diagnosis. Looking at the schedule that I have included here..... He should be tested before and after swim and given carbs after lunch so yes he will be going to the nurse often but no so much to really bother him.... then after the 4th pd I would pick him up. Since diagnosis we have had issues with highs in the am. I started Lantus at night on Friday for the purposes of camp so he can go untethered. And the pump site was the major issue for one of the nurses. She was all concerned about changing the site in case of emergency. My pediatrician can't understand why it's an issue yet they say they talked to 4 others and they say it's a bad idea??? They are also saying if a diabetes day camp doesn't take 3 year olds why would be a good idea for them? (Joe turns 4 in two weeks btw)
    Jillian is going either way at this point the director is in a bad position since he is aware of the fact that he can't turn Joe away but the nurses aren't comfortable.... he is now using the angle of what kind of camp experience is it for Joe if he has to be checked all day.... Um, gee..... a normal experience for a CWD at his age?
     
  8. Jennifer126

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    Oh it didn't attach the file said it was invalid.... it's a docx?
     
  9. Flutterby

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    I'm pretty sure they can't deny him, legally, of going to the camp. This is a really hard situation because you want him to go so bad, and they SHOULD be willing to have him there but on the other hand, do you want to force these people to take care of I'm, do you trust them?

    I believe camps fall under the same rules as schools and other public areas...they can't deny him on the fact that he has diabetes...I know Karla(hawkeyegirl) had a summer camp issue that she was able to settle and make them take her child a few ours of camp a day.
     
  10. caspi

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    I totally agree.
     
  11. SarahKelly

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    me, too

    Isaac is 5 and just now is he able to go to a camp where there aren't previously medically trained people in charge for a few hours.
    BUT
    everybody does things differently for their kids. If you are truly frustrated and upset about this and feel that it does make a big difference for your son and your family than put it in a positive frame, see how you can make it happen. That is actually how we're handling Isaac's upcoming camp this summer - I called and said, "he really wants this to work, what can I do to make it happen?" We've been working on it for a while and have come up with a system so that he can go to a mini day camp (just 2.5 hrs) and I know that in an emergency all will be okay.
    I am sorry you feel overwhelmed and upset. I do get it. I get how it feels like a punch in the gut when all you want is for your kid to do "normal" kid things.
    Take care.
     
  12. Jennifer126

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    Thanks everyone....
    Joseph turns 4 on July 13. When they are young, every year really does make a difference.
    So far he has been "denied access" for 3 days now. I have a case and my Advocate is pretty passionate and furious! We both agree that since they are now trying to work with us and figure out how to make it work that we will give them time.... but if they think they are going to drag their feet then they have another thing coming. I will only deal with this for so long. I also feel that since I already have a case for these three days he has been denied access then I can call at any time so any further poor treatment of myself or my family due to this situation is cause for me to make the complaint.
    I don't understand it all fully but I do know if a complaint is made then the department of justice comes in to investgate the camp and all individuals involved with care..... unlike these unkind women, I am hesitant to be unkind and cause disruption in anyone's world...... so I really really really don't want to go there. But I will if I have to. The only thing that might stop me is if it would to anything to the councelors he is supposed to have. Not fair to have them investigated. They have not said anything about it and were completely wonderful to him at orientation.
    The last we left it, the director is looking to set up a meeting with my team as well as find a councelor or hire one to be just with Joseph to keep an eye on him. With his cooperation I again am more than reluctant to make a complaint.
    Joseph does know what is going on. He is old enough to understand. The first day when the bus came for Jillian he put his head down and said to my mother "They are afraid of me". If a child is old enogh to comprehend and be strong mentally then he is ready for camp. My heart breaks for him because he is so strong.
    My 6 year old also pointed out that at the younger age they take a lot of bathroom breaks...... Not to mention that most of the activities are in the ac buildings or in the shade. I think there were two (besides swimming) that were possibly out in the sun.
     
  13. Sarah Maddie's Mom

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    I'm sorry that you are having to go through this, but here's my little bit of advice.

    While this feels profoundly personal, the actions of the camp director are not in the least bit personal: they aren't refusing to have your son at camp, they are refusing to have a child with Type 1 at camp. Hard as it may be, you may find this easier to deal with if you can see it as simple discrimination against a class of children, your son and any future D kids or kids with other disabilities who have been and will be denied access to this camping experience.

    I'd also urge you to bear in mind that most likely the camp is only responding to you because you have brought in the threat of an OCR investigation, not because they suddenly have decided to be "nice". If they were "nice" your son would be in camp already.

    Do not worry about any lower level staffers being punished or harmed during the investigator process. They have not set the policy, it's the camp administration that made the call to exclude your son, not the hands on staff.
     
  14. caspi

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    My opinion might be the minority here, but why would you want to send your child, or other child for that matter, to a camp that doesn't want him? Sure you can force them to do so but at what cost? Is it really worth it for summer camp?
     
  15. hawkeyegirl

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    You know, it looks like the horse is out of the barn on this one, but I'd be very careful about what you say to your son when he is young on this sort of thing. There is no reason he had to know that he can't attend camp because of his diabetes. Telling him really didn't do any good, and from his comment to you, now he just feels like they didn't want him. A white lie would have been kinder to him in this instance, IMO. They don't need to learn to resent D any sooner than necessary.
     
  16. caspi

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    I agree. I also think it would be a good idea to not share too much information with the 6 year old, either. Just something for you to think about for the future.... :cwds:
     
  17. sooz

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    I totally agree. He would not have known a thing about it had he not been told. He could have been told he is not old enough to go or something similar. In my opinion three is too young to go to camp anyway.
     
  18. Sarah Maddie's Mom

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    Fwiw, my only child kid went to day camp the summer she was 3 1/2 - camp smamp it's not terribly different from child care so I really don't see all the attitude toward an obviously already fragile poster with regard to her choice of summer activities for her two kids.

    And if the D parents who came before us had just slunk their collective shoulders and walked away our kids would have none of the legal protections they now rely upon.

    If the OP wants her two kid to both attend this camp she deserves our support and strategic thinking not a collective statement of disapproval of her choice.
     
  19. caspi

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    I'm sorry if my comments came across as harsh or with attitude - that wasn't my intention AT ALL. :( I guess I just feel as though we need to choose our battles wisely and be careful of what we share with our little ones for their own benefit. This isn't a school setting - it's a day camp. While of course it is her right to force them to take her son, is it really worth all the angst she and her family are experiencing for day camp? That's all I was trying to say. :cwds:
     
  20. Sarah Maddie's Mom

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    I get that. And I agree that the little one's comment was beyond sad.:( I just think that if the OP thinks he'd like day camp then it isn't particularly helpful for any of us to declare him "too young".

    As for the fight... who knows. Maybe this one is worth it to her and her kids - we all may pick wisely, but we may pick differently.:cwds:
     

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