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Battle hymn of the Tiger Mother

Discussion in 'Other Hot Topics' started by Becky Stevens mom, Mar 23, 2011.

  1. Becky Stevens mom

    Becky Stevens mom Approved members

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    I recently read this book by Amy Chua. I had been seeing alot of controversy about this book on TV and in magazines so had to see for myself what it was all about. It was a difficult book to read in the way that it was hard for me to read it and remain non-judgemental about this person. I knew that she was raising her daughters the same way she herself had been raised and thought she was doing what was best for them.

    I still felt sad though when I read this list of things that her daughters were never allowed to do:

    Attend a sleepover
    Have a playdate
    Be in a school play
    Complain about not being in a school play
    Watch TV or play computer games
    Choose their own extracurricular activity
    Get any grade less than an A
    Not be the #1 student in every subject except gym and drama
    Play any musical instrument other then the piano or violin
    Not play the piano or violin

    They normally would practice up to 6 hours a day on their respective instruments. This included days when they were ill (Mother would give Advil or other medication) vacations (They would bring violin or see if a piano was available)

    It was also very painful to read about the time that her daughters made her home made birthday cards which she tossed back at them and said that they werent good enough, she wanted one that was better.

    I personally felt that Ms Chua was judging western parenting styles as she mentions this in the book often and seems to find us wanting.

    She also mentions in the book that Chinese openly compare their children in front of them and that it is perfectly acceptable to call a child fat:( That this will not lead to eating disorders or the need for therapy later on. I think it very well might.

    I kept thinking that their culture was extremely different then mine and that what I was experiencing through reading the book was "culture shock"

    All in all I found the book fascinating and wont say that I think her way of parenting is better or worse then mine or anyone elses but it was a glimpse into a different and alien way of parenting for me.
     
  2. StillMamamia

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    Never heard of her. What's the book called? (don't make me google, lol)

    And why Hot Topics? Is it that controversial?
     
  3. Becky Stevens mom

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    The book is called "Battle hymn of the Tiger Mother by Amy Chua. I think it is hot topics cause like I said, I really had a hard time even respecting this woman while reading the book and I know that some people would say that it wasnt up to me to respect her or her way of parenting. Which is true of course;) I actually took a strong dislike to her. But did feel that she learned alot from her second child about parenting and about always demanding that your child be perfect
     
  4. StillMamamia

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    Oh, duh, the thread title was the book's title, ooops.:eek:

    I get it. It's one of those "may get passionate" topics.

    Thanks.:cwds:
     
  5. Snowbound

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  6. Becky Stevens mom

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    That is exactly it! For this woman "ok" wasnt going to ever be good enough. It was a painful book for me to read because of the fact that I think that childhood is a time for children to learn about being on this planet and getting along with others and being allowed to be a kid first. This woman gave her daughters no time for anything even remotely childlike. She constantly defends herself in the book by saying that it was so hard for her to be that way and know that her children may hate her for it. I dont want my kids to hate me, respect me? Absolutely! but not hate me or feel that Ive taken that precious time of childhood away from them

    Your kid not only does well on less then an hour of practice but could probably be in an orchestra making alot of money already if he wanted to. I get the feeling though, hes having alot of fun being a kid;)
     
  7. Brensdad

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    Great topic, and I can see how it could be controversial for sure. While I believe parents should have the first and final word on how their children are raised, the fact that parents will kill their diabetic children by ignoring modern medicine makes me re-think the subject. In this case, this mother is applying values that I do not at all degree with; fundamentally, I believe that individual liberty (even as a child but within reason) is granted by God, and in my opinion only this mother is depriving her child of the most important gifts of all: liberty, problem-based thinking and free will.
     
  8. obtainedmist

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    Though I haven't read the book, from watching some interviews I was under the impression that she realized that her techniques were backfiring with her younger child. I think this led to some soul searching on her part as to the problem with one-size-fits-all parenting styles.
     

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