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At what age do they..........

Discussion in 'Parents of Teens' started by bdwhiddon, Jun 26, 2011.

  1. bdwhiddon

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    stop needing hand holding for getting their insulin in them? I have a 12 yr. who still cannot remember unless WE remind him. So at what age does this change?

    Please is there hope out there?:confused:
     
  2. Amy C.

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    My son is 17 and remembers about 60% of the time. He is going to be challenged when he goes to college in a little more than a year.

    I stopped yelling about 4 years ago when I realized it wasn't working. I reminded, reminded, reminded. I now remember the best in this house.
     
  3. emm142

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    12 is very young. Having diabetes makes kids grow up fast in so many ways, but that doesn't mean that they're ready to handle remembering all these things when they are still a child. I know that my 12 year old sister would NOT remember.

    I was diagnosed at 14 and have been doing everything since then, but I was quite an adult 14 year old, with a strong sense of routine which D stuff sort of fell into.
     
  4. frizzyrazzy

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    my son is 11 and unless I specifically tell him, I'd say probably half the time he wouldn't bolus. of course, I look at him and ask "Is this diabetes thing new for you?" and we have a laugh..but in the end, he's still young, just like your son, and he will learn when he's ready to learn. He's telling you that he's not ready for the responsibility yet. IMO, I will do everything I can in my power to make diabetes my issue now when he's young. When he's older, we'll share the responsibility, and when he's on his own it will be his. He knows "how" - that's not a concern, he's just not ready.

    cut your son some slack. He's just not ready yet.
     
  5. Tigerlilly's mom

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    I think that it is less age specific than kid specific.

    My son is 12, he remembers to bolus 90% of the time when not at home, but only about 50% of the time when he is at home - go figure:rolleyes:.

    He has also lived with diabetes for about half his life, so it is a habit to bolus when eating. My son also realizes that all his "freedom" will be limited if he doesn't take care of his diabetes when he is away from me and home. Having lived with diabetes for 6 years he also knows how lousy he feels when he forgets to bolus.

    Mananging their own diabetes is a HUGE responsibility, they need slack cut for them often, they will make mistakes, they will forget.
     
  6. StillMamamia

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    I don't have any advice, though I agree with being patient, but wanted to ask when your child was diagnosed?
     
  7. MrsBecky

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    My opinion is that it depends on the child individually. Everyone learns and remembers routines differently. Do what works best for your child and it will come. Some kids are very mature and diligent, but it is still time to support them completely. Teen years ~ so much fun. =)

    Just a "medical profession" guideline can be found at http://www.barbaradaviscenter.org/ If you go to the pediatric clinic link and then to the online version of the Pink Panther written by Dr. Peter Chas. They have a online version and there is a chapter on it.
     
  8. kgerrick

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    When was he diagnosed? I think that you should go easy on him, you don't want to alienate him or make him feel like a burden. He got this disease and he needs your help. I know how frustrated you feel, because I have worried about this, but realisticallly I remind myself that my daughter will have this responsiblity all her life and I want to do what I can while I can now in order to deal with this positively. Good Luck to you!
     
  9. wilf

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    I know this is an early post for you, and am glad you have found this site. It is probably not something that you thought much about when you posted, but you described your 12 year old as "needing hand holding".. The flavour of these words seems off for me, but maybe it's because I'm from Canada and am not quite getting how you mean that.

    When I think of children with diabetes needing parental reminders and support through their childhood and teens I do not consider it parental hand holding, I consider it us parents supporting our children and helping them shoulder a heavy load.

    In my view, parents should be there for their children for as long as they live at home and as often as reasonably needed. They face a struggle we who do not have D can never comprehend. I've tried - I try to remember my preteens, and the anxieties and stresses I had at the time, and then I try to superimpose what I know about the challenges of living with diabetes on top of that..

    So though I'm feeling burdened at times with D management, I think about the fact that hers is a very different burden. And it makes me thankful that my 15-year-old daughter is able to do as much as she is. She often leans on us, has us remind her and calculate dosages for most injections - but can also do what she needs to be able to do.

    I would encourage you be your sons friend and ally when it comes to the D management. :)
     
  10. bdwhiddon

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    He was diag. at age 6. So this is not new. We are patient with him. I am just hoping that one day he will GET it.

    I was also trying to get an idea if this is normal for a 12yr. old.


    Thanks for your help and support.

    I wasn't sure how other pre-teens managed their diabetes.
     
  11. Connie(BC)Type 1

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    I'm 52, still l need reminding sometimes, we're human, we forget, I can be half way through a meal and remember that I've forgotten to test and bolus!
     
  12. Amy C.

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    I would say this is absolutely normal. Kids tend to appear to lose their minds around that age and start pulling things together in the later teens.

    I would concentrate on getting him to remember things associated with school.
     
  13. obtainedmist

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    Every child is so unique. It took my 22 yo a LONG time to be as responsible as his 18 year old siste...they are just different kids. It's not just a difference between male and female...I've know some late blooming girls in the responsiblity department!;) It seems that the teen years can be difficult for the kids what with hormones and rebellion. But it's great that he takes care of himself when he's not at home. That's always a big worry for this age. Maybe he feels as if he can delegate some of that responsibilty when he's at home because he feels the "safety net" under him. My mom always used to say "Don't worry, he won't walk down the aisle wearing a diaper!" when I would get impatient with the potty training progress. You might have to take on this sort of attitude and allow him to go at his own speed. I'm sure he won't go off to college or live on his own without having the skills he needs to keep himself healthy. Have faith! ;)
     
  14. bibrahim

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    I am still reading the other posts but this is very well said. I try to do as much D care as I can handle and ask my CWD what help she needs. If she is tired, I will check for her. If she has a bad set in the night and it laying in a way I can redo the set without waking her, I will do it. That being said, she handles most of her day to day D care and I just check in and remind her.

    We do most set changes together. I draw up the insulin and get the set into the quick serter. I get out the wipes for her and then hand her the quick set and she puts it on and then hands the pump to me and I do the rewind and priming and then she puts it back on and we are done. She can do it herself, but I help her because it takes a burden off of her.

    She does most of her carb counting and asks me what I think if she isn't sure and we talk about it and then she does the bolus. If she is out on her own at a friends house, we stay in touch by phone and I remind her to check her BS before bed (an area she likes to skimp on due to the Dexcom), and eat a good dinner with protien and such. We also stay in touch for the 2 am check.

    This week I am going to camp with her so she can go and be safe. It will be hard and out of my comfort zone a bit. I will be sleeping in an old trailer and she will be in a tipi nearby and I will get up and do her 2 am check for her out in the boonies with rattle snakes and black widow spiders nearby. But it is for her and it is worth it and I am praying for strength and for D to behave itself!

    I think you will find a routine that works for you. It is so hard to adjust to all the stuff we have to do to keep things going. You will get there and so will he.
     
  15. VinceysMom

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    I did not read all of the posts here, but wanted to say a few things.

    Your child is 12, very young yet and still has a lot of maturing to do. And, your child has the rest of his life to remember his insulin. In my opinion, all you can do is teach him right now, even if he is not looking, i bet he is listening and hears what you say... He will "get it" in time. And, if he starts to do all his own care at this age, I'll bet "burn out" will set in real soon... therefore, it is my belief to do whatever you can for your child...as he has the rest of his life to take care of himself.

    I will tell you what we do, but what we do may not work for others... I know everyone has their own way of handling things, but this works for US. My husband and I count carbs, we weigh food, we fill a syringe. My son does his BG checks, injects his insulin. We had a surprise yesterday, he actually was at a friends house, figured out his own carbs, figured out his own correction...all this without calling or texting us as he normally he does. I asked him, "how did you know how many units"... his reply, "mom, I'm not dumb, figured it out." So, I think the kids are always listening to us, and that is a great way to learn without truly pushing them to take over their care. This week we will "test" him a little more, and try to figure out just how much he knows!:p

    Keep in mind, this is what works for US...each family does their own thing. My son was dx at 13, one and half yrs ago... Everyday is a learning process...

    Good luck...

    Kathy
     
  16. bdwhiddon

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    I do believe in sharing the responsibility of Diabetic care. It's too much for any one person. I am thankful DH helps a lot with this. However, I think there is a line. A good friend of ours helped her child So much with her diabetes that it backfired. She was the mom who brought her insulin and meter to her every morning on a tray. Anyway years of doing that until the girl left for college. Then the girl totally didn't do her insulin for a year or more. Now she has MAJOR health problems. Blindness and other such problems.


    I think help and encouragement is needed. I just want him to learn the importance of doing it for himself.


    Does anyone else celebrate Diabetes in their families?
     
  17. swimmom

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    There's a lot of growing going on in those pre-adolescent and teenage male brains. They're sort of half-baked and not fully connected. Be patient :).
     
  18. Mom264

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    Several months ago I created a survey for a class that dozens of parents from this site participated in. (Caregivers of T1D tweens & young teens, aged 9-14).

    Here is a slide from the PowerPoint, which you might find interesting.

    The topic was "Caregiver feelings as you transitioning CWD to Self-care."

    If you look at the response "Concern. My child has not taken on the level of care I thought he/she would" and look at the purple bar, which represents caregivers of 13-14 year olds, you will see 44.4% chose that answer.

    [​IMG]

    (I am not sure why the 11-12 year olds in this sampling are perceived as being able to handle the routine -- they are the blue line -- but it almost seems that they regress a bit as they enter the teen years -- or maybe our expectations go up higher.

    Anyway, you are not alone. A lot of us here wonder the same thing!
     
    Last edited: Jul 5, 2011
  19. ecs1516

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    Have the same problem for my 11 (almost 12) and 14 year old. They have had diabetes for 11 years. I have been frustrated very much lately because I feel they (the 11 year most) doesn't remember to bolus unless I tell him. From this to worrying who will check them as night as adults , I worry a lot.
     
  20. momof2here

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    hand-holding...

    My son is 13 and he has recently begun to venture out on his own with scenarios where he needs to make d related decisions. This is his choice and I support that quest for independence. I am with him most steps of the way and I am glad to be there, so he doesn't feel a sense of being alone. I think that the more that he feels that we share in this burden, the less he will resent it. I hope to keep helping him until he clearly doesn't want my help, I'll be there.
     

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