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Appropriate punishment--need an ear to bend!

Discussion in 'Parents of Children with Type 1' started by coconne3, Sep 4, 2013.

  1. coconne3

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    My DD is 10YO. She can home today with an BS of HI and an empty bottle of glucose tabs in her back pack (BS was fine at 1:30). She is denying eating them and I'm fuming!!!!!!!! Also at a loss for an appropriate punishment. I hate not believing her but evidence is all against her.
     
  2. Christopher

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    I would let things calm down first. Then, when you are both in a place where you can have a calm discussion, find out what happened. If it were me, I would tell her that nothing she says will result in a punishment, but all you want is to find out what happened so that you can try and avoid it in the future. You really need to pick your battles when you are dealing with this disease. Try not to judge her before you know what really happened. Punishing a person for not taking care of their diabetes is a very slippery slope. Especially at her age. Proceed with caution and calm. Good luck.
     
  3. Sarah Maddie's Mom

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    I'd suggest not fuming. Catch your breath and sit down with her and together figure out what happened. Maybe she ate a bunch of tabs, maybe they spilled, maybe other kids wanted to try them and she ate some first. Remember, she's a 10 year old first and a kid with D second. Try to stay calm and most likely you'll get to the bottom of it.
     
  4. KatieSue

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    I'd take a deep breath then have a chat. She may have been feeling low. My daughter will often "feel" low and over correct because she hates the feeling without giving it enough time to work. It's actually something she's really been trying to work on lately (she's a bit older) because she's sent herself into a few roller coaster high/lows with over corrections lately and she hates the end result, which is she feels yucky.
     
  5. nanhsot

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    Well, I think this depends on your parenting style quite honestly. I actually do not believe in "punishment" but more in consequences. Most if not all actions have a natural or at least reasonably connected consequence attached to it.

    In this case, the consequence was likely how horrible she felt. My son has never actually seen a HI via meter but he feels HORRIBLE when he's high. He hates it, so in our household doing something like this (if she did) would have its own consequence that likely was not worth it. If she had to leave school and miss things like after school sports, those are additional natural consequences.

    When her BG is level again, I'd sit and talk calmly about it, find out what happened and why, talk about how it affected her and how it is a dangerous thing to do. I'd point out to her that if she continues to make poor choices (again, assuming she did, which may not be true) that you will have to take over her care and that is yet another consequence. Etc. I absolutely would NOT talk it over when my kid is high, he's unreasonable and mean! I also would approach it with the idea of "this bottle is empty, what happened..." as opposed to "did you...". Don't set her up to lie, lay out the facts and go from there.

    I hope I'm making sense. I'd get out of the mindset of "punishment" and find out how to tap into her natural logic. She's 10. That's a difficult age with or without diabetes, an age of peer pressure and the span between little kid and tween/teen years. I'd approach her to talk with that knowledge and see if you can find out some whys. Did she want to get out of some situation, did she want to show off to her friends, was she simply hungry, etc.

    The answers to that would lead my next decision. She's a kid, she made a mistake. Unless this is/was a pattern and she's constantly putting her health at risk, I'd talk it over with her, point out the consequences and tell her that you are there to help. Then be there to help.
     
  6. Beach bum

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    I'd take a moment and breath.
    Then, I'd sit down and talk. Find out her side of the story. Maybe she felt low and panicked and over treated. Maybe she was hungry. Maybe she just felt like eating them. Or, maybe she handed them out to friends. I would talk to find out what happened and then move on from there. I wouldn't punish for eating the tabs, but if she did lie about eating them, then I'd have some type of consequences for that. Consequences for lies. Not for blood sugars.
     
  7. TheFormerLantusFiend

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    Don't count on her feeling horrible when HI. I have been 594 and not felt a thing. I feel rotten if I stay high for long, but for an hour or three? Nothing.

    I think if you can't calm down, somebody else should have the discussion with her, because somebody needs to elicit the what and whys of what happened before you can figure out prevention, including maybe how to dose for it if she decides to eat 10 glucose tabs for the heck of it (assuming you want to keep giving her glucose tabs instead of something less appealing).
    I think it might turn out that you need to use a less yummy food for hypo treatments.

    When I was dx'd I was very worried that if we used something I really liked for lows, then I'd eat it when I wasn't low, and have nothing left when I was low. So we used stuff I don't really like, but am willing to eat... mints, licorice, juice boxes. Yuck.
    These days I trust myself.
     
  8. Megnyc

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    I can't offer parenting advice but I just want to say that she may have felt low. To me over treating a low isn't something I can easily control. I would describe it almost as a "fight or flight" response. Generally any low blood sugar where I have symptoms or see a number under 35 or so, I panic and eat at least 30 carbs (and sometimes more like 100 :eek:) and inevitably end up in the 200s or 300s. I don't really imagine anyone thinks glucose tabs taste good (especially an entire bottle) so I think you have to find out exactly why she ate them.
     
  9. coconne3

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    Thank you

    Thanks for pulling me down off the cliff :)
    She hasn't admitted to be low just said they taste good!
    We'll figure something out. I wish she felt bad with HI but it doesn't seem to phase her.
     
  10. BaltoMom

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    I can't believe you just posted this today. I got on here looking for help with a very similar problem. The difference in my case is that my son ate all of the tabs in his bag that he carries around with him (I believe that there were 7). He was sneaking them. And this isn't the first time he's done it. Over the summer we had to keep all of the bottles around our house put up because he got so bad about sneaking them. I thought that we had finally gotten through to him and that he'd quit, but tonight has sent me over the edge.
    I think he did it because his Dexcom said he was 78, so I had him check his finger and he was 125. He cannot get over it that just because his Dexcom says that he's anywhere close to low, he may actually be fine. So when we got home, he snuck his bag up to his room. When he came down for dinner, I heard the Dexcom beeping for high, and I immediately wondered what happened. Then I realized that he was bringing his diabetes bag with him and I knew immediately what he'd done. He admitted eating them. Pre-dinner, he was 369 with double arrows up. I really wish he felt like crap when he gets really high, but I don't think that he does.
    I'm pissed that he snuck the tabs again, but I am horrified that he ate up all that he carries around and that would be used in an emergency. He's only 6, so he doesn't fully grasp what kind of danger he's putting himself in, but I can't just let it go. Someone recommended trying to get the flavorless tabs as one way to curb this. Do any of you know where I can get them? A few pharmacies that we've tried around here don't seem to carry them.
    I'm sorry for the long post (and the hijack), but I need to vent.
     
  11. Amy C.

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    Perhaps you need to find another food to treat a low. Juice worked great for my son and is cheaper.
     
  12. Lizzie's Mom

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    ^^^ Excellent ^^^!

    One thing we communicated to our daughter (now nearly 12) is that the numbers tend to not lie - if she consumed carbs, the numbers are going to go up! Now, in puberty or with illness there are exceptions to the rule.

    That said, we (having seven children) also commiserated with her in that she can't just grab a snack without thinking about it like her siblings; she can't just 'sneak' a few chips or a finger-full of cookie batter etc. and we understand that that kinda stinks. Kids are impulsive and just do stuff.

    You didn't mention how long your daughter has been T1, but if relatively newly diagnosed, all of this is a huge adjustment, and then she gets a bottle of 'candy' to put in her backpack. And those glucose tabs are tasty . . . :eek:

    We abandoned glucose tabs for a couple of reasons:
    • Siblings were good at sniffing them out and munching (most frustrating when we 'needed' some)
    • They're on the pricey side when said munching is happening
    • As she's grown (she's nearly 5'5" and over 160 lbs.), she needs at least 15 carbs to treat a low and it's easier to suck down an applesauce rather that choke down three of those big dry tablets.
    When we still did use glucose tabs, we first tried going to the small tubes that hold about 10 tablets to avoid the kind of thing you talk about in your OP, but did not find success. They were just too tempting.

    We've found fig newtons (fast sugar in the fig filling; slower carbs in the outer cookie; and not so yummy that she feels like randomly eating them, but effective when we need them - 11 carbs each) to be a good alternative carb source; we get the ALDI's brand (.89/package where we live), so they're very economical. We've learned that they need to be put in a ziplock bag and put into a plastic container or after a while we end up with fig newton mush in her back pack :rolleyes:.

    So if we see a low coming (she wears a Dexom G4), we go with the fig newton approach.

    If we're treating an occurring low, we go with the 'suck down an applesauce' approach (we get these, as they wear well in the ol' backpack and require no spoon).

    All that said, I totally agree with the 'consequences' approach from nanhsot; think about it from your daughter's 10 yo perspective: her pancreas doesn't work and then your parents put a jug full o' candy in your back pack. O, the conflict!

    These are teaching moments. She has to live with her condition for a lifetime; try to help her learn to live with it as just that: a condition, not an enemy. Her glucose numbers are always going to tattle on her (sucks for her), so help her to see insulin and emergency carbs as tools in her tool bag, and to see food as food, with carbs to be counted, for sure, but not as the enemy. Food should be enjoyed, with the understanding that she has to consciously use her brain in response to that food instead of her pancreas automatically responding to that food for her.
     

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