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and now...Divorce...

Discussion in 'Parents Off Topic' started by Mary Lou, Jan 2, 2011.

  1. chkpea

    chkpea Approved members

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    geez I just can't even imagine what you are going through! I don't know what to say but my heart goes out to you and your boys. try and be strong and use whatever support network you have around you.
     
  2. Barbzzz

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    MaryLou, I am so sorry. :(
     
  3. shekov

    shekov Approved members

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    I am so sorry you're going through such a painful divorce.

    I'm not divorced but have watched a number of family members go through the process. My advice would be, ALWAYS take the high road. Never let him or the lawyer or the process force you to do or say or act in anyway unlike yourself.

    I have watched reasonable, intelligent people turn into whiny, bitter, vindictive, selfish children. You are better than that and owe it to your children to stay that way.

    Now for the jokes...
    What do you call a man who has lost 95% of his intelligence?
    Divorced.

    When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
     
  4. thebestnest5

    thebestnest5 Approved members

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    I am so sorry. I have missed you on this forum.
     
  5. dqmomof3

    dqmomof3 Approved members

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    I have missed you too, Mary Lou, and I am so, so sorry. My heart is breaking for you.
     
  6. Mary Lou

    Mary Lou Approved members

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    All of your kind wishes, advice and jokes are greatly appreciated. Hearing from all of you has given me tons of much needed strength and encouragement these days.

    I know that I'll get to good place and find my "new normal". The holidays were hard, but my parents came and made it all special for me and the boys.

    Life will go on and I will find the courage to embrace it.

    Thank you all!!!:)
     
  7. frizzyrazzy

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    Good luck Mary Lou!
    I hope to see you around more often. :)
     
  8. Belinda

    Belinda Approved members

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    So sorry to hear this Mary Lou! My ex also left because he couldn't handle the responsibility. I just wanted to give you a few tips that I wish I had when I finalized my divorce. It was a long divorce. It's been over a year now, and things are still a mess.

    If you ex has found someone else, I suggest that the new person that will be around your kids get some D training. Try and do that as early as possible. You never know when your ex will leave the boys with her to babysit.

    Everything court related seems to revolve around money. Currently my ex is over 6 months behind in medical bills. My ex is supposed to reimburse me after EOB is sent to him. I asked the state to intervene last November. Still no resolution. I would try and determine what your reoccurring medical expenses are and get them added to your child support. Include the obvious, but also the pump batteries, pump packs, and conferences. Anything D related. You mentioned in a post about having a sitter come to the house, be sure and include that expense in the child support. Your ex may agree now, but not later? believe me, what was agreed originally is nothing where we are now.

    Have child support deducted from his paycheck?. Period!

    Require you ex to attend some of the Endo visits. My ex hasn?t seen the Endo since 2007. He has checked out of diabetes care.

    Make sure you are comfortable with who will carry the insurance on the kids. My ex wanted to carry the insurance but I would have had to change endo?s. Not good. Medical insurance is included in child support payment.

    Look at any other financial matters involved with the kids: school tuition, playing sports, college fund. Put the agreement of these in the parenting plan. Leave nothing to resolve later. My ex has gotten to the point of not taking the kids to soccer practice because he knows it irritates me, he completely overlooks what it does to the kids.

    For parenting time, if there is any special time you want the kids such as a family reunion, FFL conference? anything; put that in your parenting plan. I also had it noted that the girls had to do their homework on "dads" weekend. At the beginning, the girls were having too much "fun" to do home work on his visitation and was expected to do it late Sunday night when they returned.

    I was very much like you. Just expected everyone to do the right thing and fully expected my ex to take care of his girls. Things change when the ex?s girl friend wanted a new boat! Hope this was helpful. Stay strong. Email me if you have any questions.
     
  9. vettechmomof2

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    I am so sorry that you are going through this. I wish you the very best though!
     
  10. shirley83006

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    Sorry to hear things dont look up today. My sister is going through the i believe divorce They have kinda been seprated for some time now. She had tried more than she should have She gave it her all. But nothing from his side. Many promises but nothing. He had called her text her everyday. now that it seems that he has given up, and is not trying to persue it, and she does not really want him at all. She is feeling the loneliness and is sad as wel. She just wants to beg him to come back. Even though he is a creep, a drunk, and has ocd and is a greeedy son of a ------ . He has beaten her. OMG i sure hope that it does not happen. I am not experienced in this, things have to get better to deal with, just like how things get better after the blow of hearing our children are sick with a non cureable disease. Give it time. Take this time with your kids, reflect on your past and then give some thought of the future. Take t day by day. One day you will find someone special to share your life with. Its not over.
     
  11. Gisela03

    Gisela03 New Member

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    Help in divorce parenting plan with child type 1 debetes

    Hello I'm Gisela and I'm new to the forum and I need your advise. I have a 7 years old child with diabetes type 1 complicated with lipoathropy this complicate the diabetes because the lipoathropy doesn't allow the insulin to be absorbed correctly, is like the insulin burn the subcutaneous fat and that is when the lipoatrophy occurs. He was diagnosed at 8 month old and I've been married for 9 years. A couple of months ago my ex husband told me he doesn't love me any more and he says this is too much responsibility for him ( talking about our son medical condition) But I discover that he is with another person.

    He is giving me a sole parental responsibility which is great for me ( I moved to another state far from him) but the divorce petition doesn't talk anything about my sons medical condition. I'm doing a counterpetition and I would like to know how I can request in my counterpetition that on his sharing time with my son (and I know his job is first and he will leave my son with his new girlfriend) the person in charge of our son should have a training or a knowledge to deal with this condition. Can I do that? Any idea on how to redact it and add it to the counterpetition?
    Thank you in advance for your time.
     
  12. RosemaryCinNJ

    RosemaryCinNJ Approved members

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    MaryLou I am so sorry...this makes me sad for you HOWEVER...one word honey..ALIMONY and hopefully your state recognizes a marriage over 10 years and you do have a child who has a medical need...he cheated...(get the other womans name) and use it in court..Chances are he cheated on you...he will cheat on her...karma is a *****. Im so sorry..what a loser he is...Take his sorry ass to the cleaners...
     
  13. JeremysDad

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    Hi Gisela, I'm so sorry to read about the problems you are having. I think you might have accidentally added your discussion to an active thread started by someone else.

    The best thing to do is to copy your initial post in it's entirety and create a new discussion in the "parents off topic" group. That way, your post will be viewed by many more people and will hopefully get responses that can help you.

    Good luck!!
     
  14. Marcia

    Marcia Approved members

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    I'm sorry for your huge challenge. I am divorced, and while it seemed like it initially, it is not the end of the world. When my daughter began spending the weekend with her dad, I expected the worst-it didn't happen-and then I began to look forward to the alone time when I could sleep in, do my nails, soak in the tub, etc. The best advice my attorney ever gave was to remember that my exhusband would ALWAYS be my daughter's dad, he would walk her down the aisle at her wedding and be her children's grandfather and to never take that away from her. 20 years later, my oldest has a great relationship with both her parents, we both attended high school and college graduations, figured out holidays, and manage to spend civil time together when necessary. I guess what I'm trying to say is get rid of the anger, It is not easy, but you will do fine. Everyone here is pulling for you.
     

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