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504 meeting .. never been so angry!

Discussion in 'Parents of Children with Type 1' started by Kaylee's Mom, Oct 2, 2013.

  1. Kaylee's Mom

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    So I have a 504 meeting about Kaylee today. I went in thinking this would be brief since we just needed to make a couple simple changes. I live in a small town .. so small school.. no school nurse. The classroom teacher is taught how to care for Kaylee and everything has always gone fine. Well today our new guidance counselor started asking me about Kaylee's numbers and her diet. She then told me she was hearing "Very poor food choices" when my daughter brings everyday . her choice .. 10 ritz crackers with cheese for lunch, yogurt with frozen blueberries on top (1/2 cup yogurt) usually pirates booty and then a fruit .. apple, manadran oranges something like that. This will be her snack and lunch. The guidance counselor said they (as in the school) neeed to "teach Kaylee better choices" I was trying to be nice at first and told her no .. I thought Kaylee was fine especially since her last two A1C's were 7.4 and 7.6. Now this woman also admitted she knew NOTHING about diabetes .. but wanted Kaylee to come to her daily and make a food log and learn how she could make the better choices. I told her since Kaylee had been living with this since she was 3 years old and could not even go to the fridge at home to simple eat a grape without testing and being questioned I did not thnk she needed this at school. The counselor then said "Diabetes is a SERIOUS DISEASE you know!" I was so MAD! I whipped around and told her "You do not think as her MOTHER I KNOW how serious this disease is!!" She shut right up. I am not even sure what to do now. I am so mad and so insulted. My every moment .. as all of you ... is mostly consumed with diabetes. I am well aware of this horrible disease. But does my 9 year old need to be? I figure right now I can do the heavy work .. oh she can count carbs .. correct herself .. bolus .. test .. all that. But does she need the daily worry we all have? She has the rest of her life for that. I know I need to go see the principal who was at the meeting and let this happen .. but I ama lmost stil in shock .. not expecting to be attacked at her simple 504 update meeting.
     
  2. Lizzy731

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    This counselor has absolutely no right to speak to you in this way. If I were you I would schedule a meeting with the principal to discuss switching to someone else. And no...a guidance counselor has no business sticking her nose into food issues. I just can't believe how inappropriate she was to you! I felt my blood boiling as I read your post imagining myself in this position. She need to deal with her educational needs...she is not a nurse and shouldn't assume the role. I couldn't imagine even a nurse speaking to you in this way when you have been caring for your daughter for many years with this disease.

    I'm so sorry you have to deal with this person and be insulted in this way!
     
  3. Lizzy731

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    This is beyond being insulted....talk to the principal and if there is no resolution report the school...she has a 504...you have rights
     
  4. MomofSweetOne

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    I'd go in armed with lots of info on diabulemia and its dreadful consequences and poor cure rate. Maybe then they'll rethink whether they should be forcing her to do other than letting you parent. If they think those food choices are poor, what about just not covering carbs?

    Is there another teacher in the grade? I'd be demanding a teacher change asap.
     
  5. Sarah Maddie's Mom

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    Crystal, I'm so sorry. :(

    When we have confronted know-it-all types, and thankfully they have been few and far between, our Endo has been wonderful at crafting a quick slap-down letter on official letterhead.

    Something along the lines of, "Kaylee has been dx'd since xyc and is a well managed child with excellent and developing self- care skills etc etc" and "due to the constant and unrelenting emphasis on carb counting and dosing children with Type 1 should only work with trained CDEs and specialized diabetes nutritionist with regard to medical management and lifestyle choices"

    Have that put in her file - draft it yourself and tell your endo that these are the critical points you'd like included.

    Good luck!:cwds:
     
    Last edited: Oct 2, 2013
  6. Kaylee's Mom

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    We have such a small school I have no other choice for Kaylee's teacher .. our school has always been so great I am still in shock this even happened ...

    Thank you sarah .. I should call her endo and ask him to write something up .. all the support means a lot .. thank you. :)
     
  7. Sarah Maddie's Mom

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    And follow up if you can in an email with the critical point. They may have encountered something like this before but just in case lay out the vital points and some language. "in no instance should Kaylee be required to report her dietary information to an untrained non-medical personal." and "Kaylee is progressing to the satisfaction of her medical team in developing the life long skills needed to manage this complex medical condition" and " Kaylee is a well managed patient with excellent parental support" etc etc etc
     
  8. Mom264

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    ^^^^ Nice!
     
  9. Lizzy731

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    Excellent way of telling the counselor where to stick it
     
  10. swellman

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    "Just in case it's not perfectly clear ... honey, that ain't you."

    But, seriously, if someone said that to me my head would explode and I'm pretty sure I would have been escorted out.
     
  11. valerie k

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    it is hard to find the door without eyeballs isn't it swell...:D

    her lunch sounds perfectly fine to me... I wish matt ate that good, He refuses school lunches, and for the first month, only ate pizza lunchables. :rolleyes: this month, its PBJ sammies, muddie buddies and that dreaded container of mandarin oranges. (which is only 11 carbs thank you very much...) I can guarantee the school lunches aren't as nutricious as what she brings in.
     
  12. Beach bum

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    OH my gosh. And all I'm thinking right now is you live on a small island and can't even get away from these people!

    This is so wrong on so many levels.
    First, contact your endo, asap, and let them know you will need to follow up in writing in the event they decide to be real jerks (and I'm being kind here) and call DSS. Request a letter to be sent (with you cc'd) to the school asap detailing that Sarah mentioned. Then, adjust the 504 to state "Kaylee's food choices are not to be questioned. If you have a question, all inquiries must be made in writing to parent." We had to put this in our 504 because the lunch lady was making comments to my daughter (how she found out she has diabetes, I'll never know).

    I'd call the ADA and talk to them about this, again, ask if you can send an email. Just get it down for the record that you are having these problems.
    As you can see from what I've listed above, I'm encouraging you to start a paper trail!

    Oh and for the record, my kid eats almost the same exact lunch as yours:D
     
  13. Kaylee's Mom

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    This is all so helpful .. you have no idea. These are things I have never had to give any thought to before since our school has always been great. Luckily my Aunt was there as I mentioned and told them there was nothing wrong with her food choices. But she is my aunt and I am sure they did not listent to her .. I am going to call her endo as soon as he opens.

    Crystal
     
  14. wilf

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    THis is wrong on so many levels.

    Sarah's suggested wording is perfect.
     
  15. Christopher

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    Sorry you had to deal with that.

    I may be in the minority here, but I think the bigger reaction you make to this, the bigger the issue it becomes. A simple, "no, I do not want my daughter to have to do that" should be sufficient. The guidance counselor does not have the authority to insist this happens. You should be able to just say no and that is the end of it. You already gave her a smackdown at the meeting and she shut up. That hopefully is the last you hear of it.

    If she pushes the issue then you could go with Sarah's idea. You could also ask if they plan on doing something similar with the children that are overweight, have high cholesterol, congenital heart problems, seizure disorders, food allergies, celiac, migraines, etc.
     
    Last edited: Oct 3, 2013
  16. Annapolis Mom

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    Your daughter eats way better than my daughter. I would have exploded if I were in that meeting.
     
  17. shannong

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    I'm so sorry you had to sit through a meeting like that. The ignorance and intrusion is unbelievable.
     
  18. momof2marchboys

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    I can understand her main teacher not wanting to do the day to day care. We have the same at our school - the nurse is there 3 days a week but is for the high school, elementary and middle school. I put in our sons IEP attachment that there must be 2 trained adults in the school for his care. This has been the elementary secretary and a para's responsibility. The high school sec is an EMT so she knows the basics.
    As for the counselor - what business does she have being in the meeting to begin with. And where does she get off saying that the meals being sent are not satisfactory.....that should be something the lunch manager would have a say in but IMO what you are sending is probably way better than what most of the other kids are being sent from home daily or even what is being served that day. I would have asked her if every student that brought their lunches had to go see her with their lunches too b/c if not that is discrimination in my book.

    Good luck, document and hold your ground.
     
  19. Kaylee's Mom

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    I do not have a huge problem with Kaylee's teacher not doing her testing .. but we are a very small school with no nurse. This is her second year with this same teacher .. so the teacher did it all last year. When Kaylee was going into 3rd grade to be with this teacher my aunt (who was her 1/2 grade teacher) offered to stay as the care giver for Kaylee .. her current teacher does not like my aunt so said not way. We also just had a parent/teacher training session with the whole school staff. I barely spoke since her current teacher took over the whole meeting. Kaylee's father has recently had words with Kaylee's current teacher and the principal about her math program and not being very nice to my children. My 19 year old had issues with her .. and my son is also in her class right now. My older daughter just got done with her two years in that room .. so having 4 children and they all had issues with her. If you question this teacher .. she takes it out on your child. And I know I am biased but my kids are good kids! They never act up (not in school ... they save it for home!!) they do not have emotional issues .. they do not talk back .. again they save it for home! But with that being said .. knowing how she feels about my daughter .. I do not want her testing her at this point.

    And the guidance counselor was at the meeting since she said she wanted to address any "emotional needs". I was just like "Ok .. whatever" I know my daughter is fine .. so knock yourself out. Not knowing it was going to be an attack on her food choices. I told them that Kaylee should be eating a healthy diet as everyone should be .. the funny thing she is the guidance counselor is pretty pudgy. I know I have weight to lose .. so would not be lecturing another on their food choices.
     
  20. virgo39

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    So sorry you are going through this. I would have been very angry at the guidance counselor. I would be torn also, because I think the letter from the endo is an excellent suggestion (and reinforces how great it is to share ideas) at the same time I find myself resenting the idea that I need to provide one, kwim?

    Ultimately though, I'd probably do whatever I thought was most likely to effective.

    Hope you are able to get things on an even keel.
     

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