Disclosing child with diabetes to new empoyer

[twicker1]

Well, I tried to already post this, but apparently I didn't officially post it. It seems like I am going to have to look for a job. The thought of it sends me into a panic attack, trying to look for something that allows me to send him off and be home when he gets out of school.

Anyway, I was wondering if I need to disclose during an interview that I have a child with diabetes, or if it is none of their business while I'm trying to get hired? It sucks because I'm going to be the one that has to take off for illnesses (both children), do doctor appointments, and be available to the school nurse at all times. So, any input?

[miss_behave]

I have a "don't ask, don't tell" policy about my diabetes

[Momof4gr8kids]

I'd let them know you need them to be flexible and why. I've also been looking for a job, and I've let them know. So far I haven't gotten anything, but I think that is more the hours I am willing to work. Anyhow, the reason I say be honest is that the laws do not protect you until you've been employed a year with that company, and also if it is a large enough company. If you do get hired, and then fired for amount of time taken off, well, I dunno, I'd rather just be honest for that reason.

[Mom2Will]

As a person that has hired people w/o knowing their problems up front it is frustrating. Let an employer know then when you need to be out they will not wonder if you are just not wanting to work. I, personally, have more respect for someone when they are up front in the beginning. They usually get the job. I check references too so it helps when the former employer has nothing but good things to say about work ethics. I recently hired a woman whose daughter had been very sick (well over a year), she didn't tell me and kept missing a lot of work but always did a great job when she was in, I brought her in and sat her down and she finally told me she was so afraid she wouldn't get the job if she told. Once she told me we were able to arrange a more flexable schedule for her. I have to add too that this was before my own son was dx.

[momtojess]

We used to own a video store, and I would rather hire someone knowing they may be missing some work, then hire them and find out later. If the plae doesnt hire you for that reason, then it isnt really a place you would want to work since it would be a problem after you are hired. I have always told employers my kids are my first priority.


I got my first job since jess was dxd about 7 months ago. Thankfully it is just me and boss in the office, and he was a family friend for the last few years. He told me up front in the interview that he knows what Jess needs and know that my kids come first. He is the greatest about things if i have to run to school for a site change, etc.

[Lee]

I recently went through this and my old boss said - don't tell - so I didn't. When I was hired, I asked about sick time. My first appointment, I told my boss and said that I owuld make sure to take sick time. He hasn't had a problem, but my daughter is 9, so it is not as constant.

[mischloss]

Well, I have two sides to this. The first boss knew about my son right away, since I called him on the way to the emergency room to say what had happened. He was great with our son. Except for the fact that now everyone also knew in the office and when he decided to leave and the next manager came along I was promptly laid off...not saying due to them knowing but then again it was a pretty huge coincidence. And I did take some extra time off during the first few months with doc`s appt. but always made up the work from home (have laptop) and the first boss was very pleased with my performance. The next job I got I did not disclose during the interview about my son. However, I did "come out" about a month later since other employees also had children with issues and it became very apparent that the new job was very "pro-family" and I didn't have to worry. I was laid off with about 20 other people a year later but that was cause the company went belly up.

I now have a new job and have been working there for about 6 months and they have yet to find out anything related to D about my son. They are very flexible with time as long as I sit there 8 hours or so and make it up. So my husband and I have split the doc's appts etc. I only say where I am going if it is school related (teacher's conference etc.) or another type of docr's appt. like orthodontics, dentist, general practice. I don't say I need to take my son to the Endo's. Not their business as far as I am concerned. A doctor's appt, is a doc's appt. and you make it up at work the same way. If I know he has one and I always make it in the late afternoon's...then I just go in super early to work and have made my 8 hours by like 4pm, still time to pick him up and drive to the appt. Luckily, he has not needed any sick days...so that is not an issue. I get 15 personal days off in case I need it, but so far have not needed to take any for doc's appts or D related issues.

[momofphoenix]

I am upfront about Phoenix's D I have never NOT gotten the job cause of D I have been told I dont meet their qualifications hmmm
I figure I need to make sure I have a job that is flexable for me so I am able to take care of Phoenix. I think most people like the honesty rather then hiring you on the assumption you will be able to work the hours you are suppose to be scheduled for and then you tellling them you need days off.

Have you looked into a job at the school? I just finished my Teachers Aide course and have applied at all the schools on base so i work when he is in school and off when he is off. The lunch room is a great place for a job too. Just a thought. It also takes the childcare money out of the equation.... All your pay would go into your pocket

[Nelson]

I would hope that whatever type of job you are applying for is the sort of job that provides the flexibility you need. If you are qualified and the the job provides the flexibility you need, then your employer should be excited to get an employee that will be loyal not quit because of the support and job flexibility the employer can provide. If the job you are aplying for does not provide the flexibility you need, you probably don't want to be getting that job anyway. It will just be hell when you take the time you need.

As an employer, I am happy, no delighted, to work with a staff member that has challenges that we can work with or around. It makes for a supportive and up-beat work environment. So long as that staff member holds up their end of things, I'll bend over backwards to support them. But, if I feel jerked around with secrets and dishonesty, that employee is going nowhere fast.

Just make sure that if you divulge your medical care issues, that you present your handling of them in a confident and competent way, not an uncertain and appologetic way. Own your problems and demand opportunities.

Good luck,
Nelson

[CAGrandma]

Is it dishonest to refrain from talking about a child's diabetes? Or is it simply keeping your private, family life private?

My understanding is that it is illegal for a potential employer to ask anything about your private life - he can't ask if you are married, have kids, plan to get pregnant, etc. Because things being the way they are it is entirely possible that you 'won't have the qualifications' if he thinks that you will be taking too much time off because you have kids, have a kid with diabetes, plan to get pregnant, observe religious holidays, etc. etc.

If a company has a very rigid sick leave/time off policy it probably wouldn't be a good fit. But as we all know, no one plans on having a child diagnosed with diabetes - so why provide an employer with a reason not to hire you and then he hires someone whose child is diagnosed next month. (Don't know if that is quite clear - it is late!)

If you do have to take time off I do think it is important to be as considerate as you can - and I am certainly not suggesting lying or cheating an employer at all. But not putting yourself at a disadvantage is not lying.