forgets to dose

BrendaMc · #1 05-05-2012, 08:13 PM

Our son is 12 and has been diagnosed for 2+ years. He's a great kid. Makes straight A's, captain of the wrestling team, plays soccer and is active with the church youth group.

Our struggle is that he "forgets" to dose, even when we tell him "this is the number of carbs" in what you are eating. We literally have to stand over him and watch him put the numbers in his pump or he forgets.

For example, last night he went to get a snack from the snack bar and then go watch his best friends soccer game. I handed him money and said be sure to dose. After our daughters game (all in the same complex) we were leaving and I asked what he had- nachos with cheese. Me- did you dose- son- no I forgot, I was watching the game. Same thing happens when we let him go off with the youth group or to a friends house.

We had tried to emphasize the importance of taking care of himself. We've had many talks- just not sure what to do. Last 3 A1C's are hovering low 8's so there is room for improvement.

So, what do you do/would you do about the constant forgetting to dose?

jessicat · #2 05-05-2012, 08:29 PM

When he is with you does he forget? or Do you remind him to before he has the chance to forget? If you remind him or do it for him when you are eating with him, then he is not getting the chance to step up to the responsibility himself because he knows you will say hey, enter your numbers/did you dose?. He knows(subconsiously) he can step back when you are around, but then isn't in the habit of stepping up when you are gone. Maybe "bite your tongue" when he is with you and give him the chance to remember, a little evil eye/ throat clearing is he starts to forget until he is doing it automatically without your reminders when you are around. Kind of retraining him. I know when I step up with the responsibilities, my son tends to step down and slack off.

Mow I'm not even sure if this makes sense, It did in my head, but putting it into print seems unclear.

Or if ther is a set time he will eat, have him wear a watch with an alarm he can set to remind him.

MomofSweetOne · #3 05-05-2012, 08:56 PM

My daughter is 12, and when she's with me, she's great about dosing. She cares about her levels and wants her BGs under good control. But, I've noticed with out-of-the-ordinary routines, like being with friends, she will forget. There is no denial of diabetes or the importance of bolussing. She honestly forgets. She's just busy socializing and not thinking diabetes. I don't make a big deal out of it; I just ask if she's bolussed and usually get a horrified gasp. I've noticed overall, her forgetfulness has increased in many areas this year, and I think hormones surging play a big part of it. Our hospital believes a team approach is best for the teen years, that expecting them to carry too much weight isn't best. I'd work toward finding reminder solutions that work for him and you.

caspi · #4 05-05-2012, 10:39 PM

Occasionally forgetting to bolus is one thing, but continuing to do so is another. I might be in the minority here, but there needs to be consequences to his actions if he continues to "forget", as you put it. Yes, it sucks that our kids have to deal with testing and bolusing, but it's reality.

Sarah Maddie's Mom · #5 05-05-2012, 10:45 PM

I'm not convinced that they "forget". I think they just choose not to do what they are supposed to do. I'm a big fan of Joe S. when it comes to Type 1 kids

http://www.childrenwithdiabetes.com/video/JoeS1.htm

Lee · #6 05-05-2012, 10:52 PM

Coco forgets all the time. It is my job, when she is with me, to verify that she does. That means telling her to bolus and then a few minutes later, asking if she remembered.

It is a pain in the butt, however, when they are this age, bolusing is the last thing they are thinking about.

She remembers 90% of the time and I think that is a good enough track record for right now.

MomofSweetOne · #7 05-06-2012, 08:37 AM

I think this is a case where you have to honestly look at what the reason for forgetting is. Sometimes it is honest forgetfulness; the time I was thinking of with my daughter, it was obviously that. To have given her a consequence might have backfired, caused resentment toward diabetes, etc. I doubt that if I were the diabetic, I would remember to bolus perfectly 100% of the time. Would it be my goal? Yes. But, I'd like to have perfection in how I manage my daughter's diabetes, but I have to settle for doing my best. Perfection doesn't happen. Sometimes my best is better than other times. We have to give the kids the same freedom to not always be 100% on top of the game.

But, if it is choosing not to bolus, then it needs to be treated differently with consequences. I don't think we can take an "all bolus forgetting needs the same consequence" approach. Consequences need to fit the crime, so the first determination is whether it was an accident or a crime and be treated accordingly.

emm142 · #8 05-06-2012, 08:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MomofSweetOne

I think this is a case where you have to honestly look at what the reason for forgetting is. Sometimes it is honest forgetfulness; the time I was thinking of with my daughter, it was obviously that. To have given her a consequence might have backfired, caused resentment toward diabetes, etc. I doubt that if I were the diabetic, I would remember to bolus perfectly 100% of the time. Would it be my goal? Yes. But, I'd like to have perfection in how I manage my daughter's diabetes, but I have to settle for doing my best. Perfection doesn't happen. Sometimes my best is better than other times. We have to give the kids the same freedom to not always be 100% on top of the game.

But, if it is choosing not to bolus, then it needs to be treated differently with consequences. I don't think we can take an "all bolus forgetting needs the same consequence" approach. Consequences need to fit the crime, so the first determination is whether it was an accident or a crime and be treated accordingly.

I agree with this. People have said to me 'how can you possibly forget to bolus? You do it for every meal and your life depends on it'. But when you are expected to do something several times a day, every single day, you will forget sometimes.

However, I probably forget a bolus every couple of months (maybe even less frequently than that) and if 'forgetting boluses' is happening a lot more frequently than that, which it sounds like it is, it may well be the case that it's not just forgetfulness and some consequences could help.

Melissata · #9 05-06-2012, 08:49 AM

If it were my child, the consequence would be that he can't go anywhere without me until he improved on the "forgetting". No matter what the reason, the consequence will work. Do it the Love and Logic way, not a punishment, but a consequence and you will see a difference in no time. You show concern and empathy, but still have consequences. This is too important not to.

Joretta · #10 05-06-2012, 09:00 AM

My DD went through this. I think she honestly was rapped up in life with friends and would forget. However, the fact remained I needed to keep her safe. I warned her I would be at her side as I was when she was two if she could not be responsible on her own. There I warned her the consequence for forgetting. The next time she asked to go if the time before she forgot I would go with her or if I could not just as when she was two she would stay with me. 3 months of this with a few more I forgots we seldom have an I forgot. To me it is like everything else in parenting you cannot let them be unsafe. So unfortunately, our kids have more to be responsible for therefore they may need us longer until they accept the responsibility.