Meanwhile, back at the gym, the plot thickens...

[Mary Lou]

For those of you following my little drama over being allowed to test on the gym floor during a competetition, here's the update:

1. After a lengthy phone conversation with the directing manager of USAGymnastics, I was told that the "competition floor" otherwise known as the "field of play" is only the rectangular area that the athlete steps out on to and performs his routine on (and the surrounding mats, whatever is appropriate for that event). The area where the athletes sit is called the "athlete seating area" or the "corral". According to this woman, the seating area is not restricted, and only the "competition floor" is.

As suggested by Bennett, I did not discuss the specific incident, I framed my questions as a concerned parent wanting to know how to accommodate my son within the guidelines of the USAG rules. It was clear, however, that she knew exactly who I was and what had happened. At the beginning of our conversation she remarked that if gymnastics was that dangerous for a T1 child, then perhaps gymnastics wasn't an appropriate sport for him. It was a rocky start. I did win her over, though, when I said it was safe as long as his blood sugar levels were monitored and she didn't understand why they would need checking during the two minutes of his routine. Clearly there was a disconnect, so I asked her to define for me what exactly was the competition floor. When she realized that I only wanted to head in and head out of the athlete seating area, she said that she couldn't imagine why anyone would deny me access.

She went on to give me suggestions going forward and cautioned me that being an athletic coach is a very underpaid and underrecognized position and most coaches can only afford to do so if their wives have good jobs with benefits. The caution was that there is a bit of an "old boys network" and that I should work with my coach to smooth things out at future events. She suggested that the avenue for best results would be to frame my needs as they would impact the entire meet and that my being on the floor actually increases the safety of the meet as a whole.

2. After a lengthy conversation with a specialist at the Americans with Disabilities office, he said that I was clearly discriminated against and that my accommodations did not fundamentally alter the activity, were necessary for my son to participate, and did not pose any danger to anyone else, given that many parent volunteers were also present. He said there was no practical difference between them being there and me being there. Additionally, he recommended we send a letter to the gym, taking low-key approach, simply informing them of the law, Brian's disability and the accommodations we would expect were we to compete at his gym again. He said he wouldn't recommend litigation, even though we were right because "these organizations tend to find a way to retaliate, and it is usually the child that bears the brunt of that".

3. After practice yesterday, Brian's coach, Igor, asks to speak with me. Duncan Gould (the director who told me I couldn't test) spoke to him on Sunday. Igor apologized for not taking more of an active role in ensuring Brian's safety or in understanding what his needs are and how important they are to his safety in the gym. He said he didn't know what Duncan was thinking, but being a Meet Director is very stressful. He was quick to add that he didn't think Duncan was right, but he can understand "snapping" under the stress. He said that going forward he would introduce me to each Meet Director and explain our needs and that there wouldn't likely be additional problems. He said that he would know where I was sitting and send Brian over when needed, and I explained that that wasn't really a good solution at this point for Brian as he doesn't feel his lows and I believe Igor has a tremendous responsibility already with all the boys he's watching on the team. I don't think it's fair to have this added to his work load. His apology was sincere and I felt just terrible that he felt it was necessary to do that as he has been so supportive and accommodating over the years. He didn't have to do that, and truly, once I left the gym, I was in tears. Apparently, I have difficulty dealing with unexpected kindness.

So, it seems like we have things well in hand going forward, but I am left wondering what to do about Mr. Gould. I so seriously want to slap him, but am feeling that it could damage our situation at this wonderful gym we belong to now. I also don't want Igor to be put in the middle of this. I completely don't know what to do.

I figure the best thing is to let the information sink in for a day or two. Maybe I can come up with something. Maybe you all see something that is clear as day, but not so clear to me.

I am completely drained by this experience.

Well, if you made it this far, thank you. I know I'm rambling a bit, OK a lot.

For those of you just tuning in, here are the two previous threads that constitute the beginning of the tale:

http://forums.childrenwithdiabetes.c...highlight=Mary

http://forums.childrenwithdiabetes.c...highlight=Mary

[tandjjt]

Well, it seems Mr. know it all doesn't quite know it all, huh...

Let it sit, yes, but I think something has to be said to Duncan. Maybe best in writing.

I would tell him that I appreciate his efforts in supporting the meets but his letter left me very unsettled. Tell him you spoke to and confirmed some facts with the directing manager and due to the definitions of the restricted areas, that you and she agree that you were not in violation of any rule and therefore expect his cooperation by permitting appropriate access to the area in question in the future, not only for you, but for other parents as needed to handle issues with their child. Tell him that you understand and applaude the fact that he wants to provide a safe environment for all and that you look forward to seeing him at future meets (yeah, a lie, but I would look forward to watching him like a hawk... so not a total lie). Let the low key letter to the gym handle the discrimination part and just make sure to smile real big and give a big HELLO to Duncan next time you see him. Can you tell I really believe in "killing with kindness" -- it always brings me much satisfaction, especially when dealing with such bullheaded creeps.

Now, the comment from the directing manager would have made me angry -- I do believe that gymnastics would be a dangerous sport for ANY CHILD if they were not feeling well... Makes me mad to think that she even considered making a statement that a D child perhaps should not participate... at least she listened and backed off, but how I wish folks could "get it" without us having to go through such explanations...

You've handled this well - be very proud of yourself for standing up for what is right and good

[Mary Lou]

Teresa -- I greatly appreciate your comments. I think your approach of kindness would probably make his toes curl and that would be very satisfying!!

thank you for your kind words!!!

[Hollyb]

I'm glad this seems to be working out. So sad that we have to have these battles in the first place.

[Beach bum]

Well, it seems Mr. know it all doesn't quite know it all, huh...

That's putting it mildly!

Let it sit, yes, but I think something has to be said to Duncan. Maybe best in writing.

I agree, I think you'll just be running in circles if you talk to him face to face. But let him know that you've done your research and he was confused.

Now, the comment from the directing manager would have made me angry -- I do believe that gymnastics would be a dangerous sport for ANY CHILD if they were not feeling well... Makes me mad to think that she even considered making a statement that a D child perhaps should not participate... at least she listened and backed off, but how I wish folks could "get it" without us having to go through such explanations...

D or no D, gymnastics can be dangerous. That's why it's monitored by coaches and spotters. She kind of set herself up for the fall on that comment! Shows her ignorance!

I understand your concern about GV. They have been wonderful in accomodating us with our D children, the kids with Downs and the kids with Autism. I commend Igor for wanting to do all possible to help Brian. But as you said, you don't want him to be put in the middle of this. I like his idea of bringing you over for an intro. Hopefully, there will be no questions asked then.

I think a letter to Mr. Gould stating he was a yutz, is a yutz and always will be a yutz will be best, and not jepordize your relationship with GV.

Keep us posted!

[TripleThreat]

glad things are stadting to go forward for you guys

i wish i could figure out a way this would work like a glucomon but i would want to see the trend arrows not just the current number maybe we can get minimed to make a little transmitter with a nice distance that will display the pump information for us atletic diabetic parents and caregivers i know i would like one for basketball games and track events where we come acroos the parents not being alowed on field of play

[tandjjt]

Originally Posted by Mary Lou

Teresa -- I greatly appreciate your comments. I think your approach of kindness would probably make his toes curl and that would be very satisfying!!

thank you for your kind words!!!

You are very welcome -- Killing with kindness has always been my strong suit, however, as I get older it seems to be fading some as my patience for stupidity is not what it used to be.

I've used this "kindness theme" even in cases where my feelings were crushed - almost as a type of revenge ... while I'm smiling and being overly nice, I just make sure to keep the little devil on my shoulder covered up

Baseball practice/season is upon us now for our boys -- we were lucky that no negative D related comments or issues came up last year, but having DH as the head coach and on the county baseball board of directors probably helps with that. Now if something ever does happen and I keep my cool and can KWK (kill with kindness) at that time, I'll know I have been given a lifelong talent from above -- I know this because nothing has EVER stirred anger in me like some of the stories I've read on this board... I'm still not over the basketball coach calling a child on a pump "nipple but" - I literally could feel my blood boiling on that one and have serious doubts about being able to control my actions in that situation... if all of the emotions I've held back all these years ever get turned loose on something like that... oh well, lets just hope and pray it doesn't because I can't even imagine what might happen if I ever BLOW - 38 years of frustration turned loose all at once and on one person might even land me on the national news! If it ever does happen, ya'll can say "that crazy Alabama gal finally lost it"

[dqmomof3]

Mary Lou, I think you are doing a beautiful job here! I almost couldn't reply because I'm a bit worried this is going to happen to us too. We don't have a CGMS, so I'm going to have to rely on Jayden's coaches reminding her to test, and hoping she feels a low even with all the adrenaline and can get it treated appropriately. So many things. We don't compete again until August, but I am really interested to see how we are treated.

What an inane comment made by the USAG person. Good grief.

Keep fighting the good fight! I may be following in your shoes!

[Judy&Alli]

Hi Mary Lou,
I just wanted to say I'm so proud of you. You are a hero! You have paved the way for all gymansts. Makes me smile when I think of all the meetings and classes that they will have to sit through to not discriminate again. Hope the jack a$$ chokes on his doughnut and spills coffee on himself. Now that would be sweet justice!!!!
Congrats!
Judy

[Mama Belle]

Originally Posted by Judy&Alli

Hi Mary Lou,
I just wanted to say I'm so proud of you. You are a hero! You have paved the way for all gymansts. Makes me smile when I think of all the meetings and classes that they will have to sit through to not discriminate again. Hope the jack a$$ chokes on his doughnut and spills coffee on himself. Now that would be sweet justice!!!!
Congrats!
Judy

Ahhh, the image that just conjured was hilarious! I agree you've handled this marvelously.