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Thread: Refusing to Check

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2010
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    In the midst of chaos
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    Default Refusing to Check

    My cwd, who's 2nd year diaversary is coming up next week, has been trying to get away from BG checks. We've always had the occasional "I don't want to check", but this time it's becoming a very big deal. I know she remembers the date of her diagnosis. I've been trying not to make a big deal of it, but she remembers and it's affecting her in some way. How do I deal with this?
    I feel like I have no more energy left -- between dh being away all the time, night time checks, school events, the upcoming move -- I just feel like giving in to her most times.
    I've also never let high BGs affect me too much. But this time, I find myself getting upset at them. Not good, not good at all.
    ~Ivy
    Mommy to 3 princesses & 1 prince
    ~K (dd3) diagnosed 4/17/10 at 6 years 4 months.
    Pink MM 722 Nov. 24, '10 w/ novolog
    Pink MM 523 April 22, '11 w/ novolog
    Dexcom -- sometimes

    "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." Rom. 8:28

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Central Texas
    Posts
    5,560

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by NomadIvy View Post
    My cwd, who's 2nd year diaversary is coming up next week, has been trying to get away from BG checks. We've always had the occasional "I don't want to check", but this time it's becoming a very big deal. I know she remembers the date of her diagnosis. I've been trying not to make a big deal of it, but she remembers and it's affecting her in some way. How do I deal with this?
    I feel like I have no more energy left -- between dh being away all the time, night time checks, school events, the upcoming move -- I just feel like giving in to her most times.
    I've also never let high BGs affect me too much. But this time, I find myself getting upset at them. Not good, not good at all.
    Are you making her do the tests? Perhaps it is time for you to take over for a bit. Your daughter is still young. I would walk over to her with the meter, strips and pricker and have her hold out a finger while you prick and the put the blood on the strip. Then walk away and let her continue with what she was doing.
    Amy
    Mom to a young adult Animas Ping pumper and DexCom G4 user. 2nd year college student, now living in a co-op house. Dx'd over 16 years ago at 3 years old.

  3. #3

    Default

    I do what Amy C recommends with my teenager sometimes if he hasn't been testing or seems "too busy" to bother. I just go to him and test, give a shot if needed.
    When he says he doesn't want to, I say things like "I don't blame you" or "you don't have to want to" followed by a "You still have to". I got the idea from the wonderful Joe S video stickied at the top of the forums.
    Former Mrs. Russman
    mom to
    Ben, age 19 dx'd 3-22-07,
    Tay, Niah, Ian, and Kenda (all non-d)

  4. #4

    Default

    We've been dealing with diabetes for nearly 7 years now. My daughter pretty much does all her checks at schools and extra curricular activities. So, when she's at home, she's had enough. If we ask to check she refuses. We say, but we have to so bring your meter over here so we can help you out and take care of business. Or if she's particularly prickly about it, we just go over to her and tell her give me a finger (not the finger), we test and correct if needed. This is the big plus of the ping, that remote. No need to dig the pump out

    I have to say, with just this small responsibility, she does get burnt out. So we take as much of the burden off her as possible so that we can reinforce to her that although we all hate it and we all hate checking, it's necessary and non-negotiable.

    Hang in there, I can only imagine how hard it is having to do it almost single handed and coordinating a move on top of it.
    Diagnosed June '05
    Pumping since Feb '06
    Animas Ping
    Dexcom Study







    My current position:
    CIO...CHIEF INSULIN OFFICER

    "Life is under no obligation to give us what we expect"...Margaret Mitchell

    "Make it work"...Tim Gunn

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Location
    Pennsylvania
    Posts
    1,700

    Default

    If you think her upcoming diaversary is affecting her, I'd ask her about it, even if you would rather it go by unnoticed. From year one, we made my son's diaversaries a happy, "mini-birthday" for which he gets a fun day as a recognition for how hard and annoying D is throughout the year. He picks what we have for dinner, we have an ice cream cake, and he gets a small gift. Perhaps, even if you don't think a diaversary should be a big fuss, a big fuss is what your daughter may need as a morale booster for all she endures. If you provide a lot of positive reinforcement for the things she does do to manage her D, it may inspire her to be a little more willing to have her BG checked.

    Also, I agree that, for young kids, the whole responsibility of BG checks should not be on their shoulders. My son is 7, and I do the vast majority of his BG checks...he is only now just starting to do some...maybe a few times per week. This is definitely a burden that needs to be eased onto their shoulders slowly...sadly, they have plenty of years ahead to assume the responsibility on their own.

    Good luck!
    Julie
    Mom to Rachel, 13 yrs old; Joey, 10 yrs old; Daniel, 8 yrs old, dx 9/08 (One Touch Ping, 11/09) and dx ADHD 12/10
    Aunt to adult nieces Samantha, dx at 2 yrs old; and Abby, dx at age 25
    [/COLOR]

  6. #6

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    Your little princess is sensing how overwhelmed you are feeling and testing you. If you can use the same firm tone of voice that you would use to tell her she must check both ways before crossing the street, she will get the message that not testing is not an option. The OP's are right about taking over the testing at home to give her a break.
    (As a single mom who often feels overwhelmed, I find it helps a lot if I remember to ask HIM to hold my hand through the rough spots.)
    Helen, mom of active 18 year old
    Feb 2014 switched to Animas Vibe with integrated DEX, Inset II
    2008-2014 MM722 and Mio's

  7. #7

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by NomadIvy View Post
    My cwd, who's 2nd year diaversary is coming up next week, has been trying to get away from BG checks. We've always had the occasional "I don't want to check", but this time it's becoming a very big deal. I know she remembers the date of her diagnosis. I've been trying not to make a big deal of it, but she remembers and it's affecting her in some way. How do I deal with this?
    I feel like I have no more energy left -- between dh being away all the time, night time checks, school events, the upcoming move -- I just feel like giving in to her most times.
    I've also never let high BGs affect me too much. But this time, I find myself getting upset at them. Not good, not good at all.
    Ivy, im sorry youre going through this. Your plate runneth over honey I think the 2nd year diaversary is a tough one, it was for me. The first year was spent in shock, living on adrenaline and just trying to get everything figured out. The 2nd year, things have sunk in, you know what youre doing and you know its not going away maybe you can talk to her and ask if she needs you to take over some of the day time testing for now so she doesnt feel as burdened by her diabetes. i know when Steven is busy, he has a rough time testing or brushing his teeth or even having something to eat

    And its normal to get upset with the high numbers and take it as a personal affront. It took me awhile to just test, look at the number and keep on truckin. When youre stressed with other things going on it makes it seem just that much more to deal with.

    youre an amazing lady Ivy. Dont ever sell yourself short and dont ever think youve got to do it all. Let somethings slide, overlook the messes and make sure the kids help out
    Becky, Mom to Steven 12, dxd 7/04 MDI humolog and Lantus, Harry 14 non-d My 2 awesome boys

    Right now three things remain: Faith, hope and love But the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13:13


    "There is no rightness in diabetes. Just sometimes, you're less wrong." by Jacobs Dad

  8. #8

    Default

    Can you say that if she fights more than some number of finger sticks per some time period, she has to wear a sensor?
    -Jonah
    dx age 17, now 25
    on Lantus for 7 years; on minimed 530 G since 12/7/13

  9. #9

    Default

    For the refusing to test, take over that part. Kids just get tired and sometimes are too busy to stop and test. Take over and test her yourself and say something like "Hey, thanks. You're doing great." If she says she's tired of testing, acknowledge that that's totally normal, but that testing still needs to be done and you're proud of her when she cooperates.

    Burn-out. I'm sorry you're feeling overwhelmed. I know it's hard to remind ourselves of this, but again, don't expect perfection 24/7/365. Sh*t happens with D. You know you're proactive, you know what to look for, just keep doing that. She may be going through a big growth spurt as well. Don't hesitate to ask for suggestions here or from your endo. Are you in contact with Gary Scheiner? If so, ask him for help.

    Take it one day at a time when you can, and don't expect to be super-mom all the time. Capes need washing too, you know.
    Mom to 2 boys (9 and 10), oldest dx in Oct. '06
    Pump MM522 w/ Sure-Ts infusion sets since July '10
    Cgms
    Previously pump Deltec Cozmo w/ Contact-Detach sets

    "He attacked everything in life with a mix of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence, and it was often difficult to tell which was which." ~ Douglas Adams

  10. #10

    Default

    Validate her feelings, let her share more about it.... Maybe set up some small reward system for getting the checks done per day (whether you do them, or she does them) (for every 50 checks....). She should feel proud of herself for getting them done, especially when she didn't want to too.

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