Just outsiders

[Cool_Cuz]

For friends/relatives (obviously not immediate family) of someone with Type One:

Do you ever feel like all you can do is watch from the outside? With D it's like no matter how badly you want to share the experiences of your loved ones, to go through all the hurt and frustration with them, you just...can't. Unless you live in the household with them, it's like you can never truly understand what they go through just to get through the day. You can read all the books within your grasp, you can read on forums about other family's and their experiences, you can ask questions. But no matter how much you learn, you never really KNOW.

It hurts, because you want to be able to console and share, you want so much to be able to say "I understand,", but you don't. Even more than wanting to understand, you want to HELP. You want to be able to say, "No, you go sit down and rest, I'll check him.", or "You just go take a nap, I'll measure out a snack and administer his insulin."

No matter how much you learn, you can never understand this disease unless you live with it 24/7. And I hate that. :(

Sorry...just needed to vent a little bit.

[Mama2H]

Jessi, you sound like a wonderful cousin! No, I don't think anyone can get it until they LIVE it. From the posts you have posted you are doing everything you can to help. Maybe if you would like to do more, you could offer to stay a weekend/week with the family and just be an "extra hand". Kudos to you for trying!!

[Cool_Cuz]

Jessi, you sound like a wonderful cousin! No, I don't think anyone can get it until they LIVE it. From the posts you have posted you are doing everything you can to help. Maybe if you would like to do more, you could offer to stay a weekend/week with the family and just be an "extra hand". Kudos to you for trying!!

Haha, thanks. =)

I actually was thinking about doing just that, if Robyn thinks it would be a good idea.

I figure that even if I can't really help with Zeb very much, I CAN help with the other kids, and that will lighten the load at least a little. ^_^

[CAGrandma]

You are so right - no one can understand what a parent of a child with diabetes lives with - every day all day, except perhaps another parent of another child with diabetes.

And you are 'wrong' in that it is not necessary for you to truly understand. Empathy does not require that we experience the exact same thing as another person in order to share their feelings and frustrations. And that is a great thing. No two people actually share the same situation anyway.

Having a friend or family member who is empathetic and who has a generous heart is the best thing that can happen to a family dealing with diabetes. And I can't imagine calling that person an outsider.

[3js]

My closest ally in diabetes care is my MIL, and she doesn`t have type1. I would say my sister too- also no exp w/t1.

But they care, are involved, and interested. They keep me sane!

You sound like a wonderful cousin. She`s so lucky to have you in their lives:)

[Charmed7]

I could only hope my family and friends are as passionate and dedicated to understand diabetes as you are. I only ask of my family to understand the risks and dangers and sometimes I don't even get that. Koodos to you, you do the best with what you have and in my opinion, thats enough.

Keep up the great work.

Charmed

[volund]

my girlfriend is diabetic, and its weird for me when it seems that I actually know more about what is happening with her then some of her family does.... When she was first diagnosed, I learned as much as I could about diabetes in general, how the insulin works, all of that... I still feel like an outsider, just because I can't be there all the time, and I wish I could do more.

[dGirl]

It used to annoy me a lot when people would give more sympathy to my parents rather than me after I got diabetes(not too long ago :(). It's like HELLOO it happened to ME. It still kinda annoys me when people are like, " I know exactly how you feel you can talk to me blah blah blah...get better soon!" First of all how can they know exactly how I feel? second of all WHEN THE HECK AM I GONNA GET BETTER? neeevver..
Anyways it's people like you that kinda DO exactly understand. There are a few people that relate to me even though they're not diabetic. I think relating is saying that you can't relate but that IS relating. hahaha.

You're awwwsome!! you're diabetic fam is lucky to have ya! props :).

[Define:Caroline]

I was diagnosed when I was four years old.
Just three days ago my 22 month old sister was also diagnosed with Diabetes.

I do know what it's like for her, and it helps a little.

But really to me diabetes ISN'T a big deal, probably because it's all i've ever known. I know at first all the shots hurt, but you really do get used to it.
I've been watching my sister with the shots, and with every single one she reacts a bit better.
Please don't feel so bad about it.

[WatchingSis]

Even in the same household, you sometimes can't do anything--my sister's had D for almost four years, and though you get used to it every now and again you think of the long-term...and it's just like being at day one.

It's wonderful that you care so much about this, though. :)

[Cool_Cuz]

Thanks for all the support...reading those really made me feel a whole lot better. =]

I know that sometimes, just WANTING to understand means a lot...it doesn't feel like it, though.

[gulfcoastmom]

we just found out my 7yo nephew is type 1.... and its hard to be on the outside... but i will give my brother and sister in law some room... in time she will be more relaxed and i know this...but in the mean time im learning what i can... and going back to what i was to do when i had gest..dieb.. when i was expecting my 1st child but that was 18 yrs ago....