Stupid comments

[mommyx4]

I realize I am new-ish here and I hate to vent already, lol, but I am upset and I figured you guys will understand why.

I was at the store last night with Hayleigh and the girl behind us in line looked at Hayleigh, noticed her pump and said "Oh, she's diabetic?" I said, yes, she is and then she proceeds to tell me about her cousin who was diabetic and had the pump. I noticed she said was and had but I didn't ask any more questions. Then she went on to tell me, right in front of Hayleigh, how her cousin died a year ago because his pump stopped working in the middle of the night and his blood sugar went too high.

First of all, I know that while it is possible for a pump to malfunction, one night without it working is not likely to cause death. Second, why did she feel the need to say this right in front of Hayleigh?

I had a lot of explaining to do to Hayleigh last night letting her know that sometimes people have wrong information and that she doesn't have to worry because this will not happen.

Then I found myself up all night checking her BG all night long. *Sigh* What is wrong with people? Don't they even think?:mad:

[allisa]

Yikes....I agree with every thing you said...especially not smart to say stuff in front of kids...why would someone do that ??

[mischloss]

I will people would keep the comments to themselves. I know the horror stories people always talk about in front of our children...amputations, infections, kidney dialysis the list goes on....:mad:

Well, I don't how sick the person was prior to the pump malfunction or what type of model the pump was. But if there is a malfunction our pump and most new ones sound an alarm and start to vibrate so the likely hood of the sleeper not hearing or feeling the pump go off it very slim. Just tell your daughter that her brand new pump has a lot of build in safety features that the older pumps might not have had and that she doesn't have anything to worry about. Poor little thing....

:cwds:

[allisa]

A good response when someone throws you a wacky comment like that is...."I'm sorry to hear that, but why did you want to tell me that ?"

It (hopefully) gives them a chance to think about waht they said and saves you from saying....duh....I ( and my child ) don't need to know !!

[Mama Belle]

I'm so sorry that happened.

How old was this girl? Was she old enough to know better? Unfortunately kids will often just spout off at the mouth without thinking. I am guessing that if someone said something to her about it she might have realized it was insensitive after the fact. You did the only thing you can do in that situation, you made sure that Hayleigh was armed with the right information. An adult should've known better for sure.

[Lee]

As soon as people start with their horror stories, I tell them that we are not interested in hearing them. Usually, that will make them huff and turn around. If they get pissy - yes, my word, pissy...then I tell them that this is an inappropriate conversation in front of any child...I have even told my own mother to change the subject or leave...

Almost every parent at this site understands and has had the horror stories told in front of their kids. I have no idea why people feel like they need to share grim stories with parents...they wouldn't do that if it were cancer...so I understand your vent.

Sometimes if it comes out before I can stop it, I say, well, my daughter has excellent control over her disease, so that won't happen to her. Also, do you realize what you just said in front of a 9 year old living with this chronic disease...that is when you get, well, I was just trying to help, she should know, and I say - trust me, we listen to our doctor's, not a stranger in line, at a restaurant, in the bathroom, at the park... every where else that they will stop you...

It sucks, I hate that people are inconsiderate. I want to hurt them like they hurt my daughter, but I try and suck it up and say they have good intentions...but I still want knock 'em one!

[mommyx4]

How old was this girl? Was she old enough to know better?

She was probably around 17 or 18. Old enough to know better IMO.

Thanks for letting me vent everyone. Sometimes I think (after the fact) that I should have said something to stop her. I was just kind of shocked that anyone could be that thoughtless!

[Sarah Maddie's Mom]

That takes the cake for insanely insensitive comments by a stranger.

Sounds like you kept your cool - that's more than I could have done.

[Nancy in VA]

She was probably around 17 or 18. Old enough to know better IMO.

Thanks for letting me vent everyone. Sometimes I think (after the fact) that I should have said something to stop her. I was just kind of shocked that anyone could be that thoughtless!

I don't think that a child of 17 or 18 knows the difference or knows better. I think I would just let it go and just discuss it with my child. We aren't going to "change the world" by going off on everyone who doesn't know better - so I'm going to spend my time just educating my daughter and letting her know that others just don't know what we know. I do believe that these people are "well meaning" and I just keep reminding myself of that.

[KeltonsMom]

No, 17 or 18 years olds do not know better...I had a young adult come up to Kelton and told him that if he drinks alcohol he will die just like her friend did after a night of drinking :eek: Her friend was on the pump and went too low during the night and never woke up..Scared the crud out of Kelton that is for sure..Now he tells everyone he meets that he will never drink for fear of dying in his sleep.:(

[spamid]

It is frustrating, so vent away!! I have a long-time friend who cares and is learning, but she has talked about complications in front of my child. Her reasoning is "she needs to know, so she will take care of herself." NO, YOU WILL GIVE HER NIGHTMARES!!! My daughter is 10, and not nearly self-sufficient enough to hear this stuff. I like the comment, "I'm sorry to hear that, but why did you want to tell me that ?" I need to keep it handy.


Sharon (mom to Kathy)
dx 8/1/05
pumping with Cozmo since 9/13/06

[wilf]

It is frustrating, so vent away!! I have a long-time friend who cares and is learning, but she has talked about complications in front of my child. Her reasoning is "she needs to know, so she will take care of herself." NO, YOU WILL GIVE HER NIGHTMARES!!! My daughter is 10, and not nearly self-sufficient enough to hear this stuff. I like the comment, "I'm sorry to hear that, but why did you want to tell me that ?" I need to keep it handy.

Sharon (mom to Kathy)
dx 8/1/05
pumping with Cozmo since 9/13/06

I deal with "friends" like that by making sure they're never around my DD. It is not for a clueless outsider to decide how/when/where my child learns about her diabetes.

[czardoust]

ewww. maybe this person had no children and didnt know that your daughter would in fact, hear her and think of what she said, and worry? There is a saying. :rolleyes: "Ignorance is bliss. There are a lot of blissful people in the world." thats what I would put it to, ignorance. Im sure she wasnt trying to be harmful. In fact, she probably got to where she was going and asked herself "maybe I should not have been so blunt."

[wkat]

Some 17 year olds may know better, some may not. Either way, you and your dtr don't have to listen to this kind of thing. If it's a teenager telling you, you can very kindly say that you really don't like to hear stories about other people's diabetes, or something along those lines. They might get upset, that's okay. When it's an adult, I often ask them flat out why they are telling me this. It can be uncomfortable, but just as it's uncomfortable for me to have to listen to these negative outcomes. People can be really insensitive. Sorry your dtr had to hear this. It's very likely that the details were inaccurate anyway.

Wendy

[mommyx4]

Ok, I guess at 17 some kids just don't think. If it had been just me she was saying this to, I would have just let it roll off my back. But it was Hayleigh who was worried after that and she has enough to worry about without hearing stuff like this.

[Mama Belle]

Ok, I guess at 17 some kids just don't think. If it had been just me she was saying this to, I would have just let it roll off my back. But it was Hayleigh who was worried after that and she has enough to worry about without hearing stuff like this.

Yeah, just because she doesn't know any better, doesn't mean that she can't be educated. ;) I know it caught you by surprise and you were taken aback too much to think to say something. But, a friendly reminder that kids are very impressionable and that stories like that are probably best left unsaid certainly would be okay in my book.

[hrermgr]

Seriously, what is wrong with people? To say such a thing in front of a child. :mad: