out of control teen [Archive] - Children with Diabetes Forums

eggshells

10-01-2007, 05:13 PM

3js

10-01-2007, 05:50 PM

Hi, I don`t have a teen, but part of what you describe sounds like what a lot of d-teens go through. Burnout, denial, ect- you will find threads in the teen room about this.

As for eating whatever he wants and giving more insulin to cover it- that IS proper d-care. Eating a healthy diet is good for everyone. But t1 diabetics don`t make their d better or worse through diet. They do it by carbcounting and giving appropriate insulin for carbs consumed. A carb is a carb; 15g carb from junk= 15g carb healthy food. Both require the same insulin theoretically.

My son eats FAIRLY healthy food, and his bg`s are totally wonky. I am in charge, so he is not forgetting stuff.

Your nephew`s bg`s could be weird from growthspurts, hormones, stress. Who knows. But perhaps he needs help with his testing ect. Maybe he is getting burnedout. It is easy to get that way!!!

You sound like a very loving Aunt:)

Hollyb

10-01-2007, 08:33 PM

Hi,

You are probably right to be concerned but giving advice is always hard, especially when your sister is the one who has lived with this for ten years, not you.

Without knowing what his recent A1cs are or some indication of what his highs and lows look like, it's hard to know how "out of control" your nephew is. The behaviour you describe, though, is a pretty common risk for diabetic teens and can be brought on by various factors: 1) they get damn sick of the constant burden, and decide to sluff it off for a while, 2) they may be starting a new school and meeting new friends, and be self-conscious about their diabetes care in a way they weren't when younger (nobody wants to be "oh yeah, he's that diabetic kid"), 3) their blood sugars may be genuinely much more erratic and hard to control when puberty kicks in, and they may become discouraged and feel why even try when nothing they do seems to "work", 4) young teen boys are notoriously forgetful about EVERYTHING -- he may be genuinely forgetting to check and then lying to avoid trouble -- you get the idea. I doubt any of it has anything to do with what your sister has allowed him to eat -- in fact rigid restrictions on his diet right now would probably make things worse.

What I've seen the docs here on the question board recommend a few times is that the parents step in and give the teen as much of a holiday from diabetes responsibility as possible. Young teens have so much new going on in their lives that they may be temporarily less, not more, able to take on the responsibility than when they were a bit younger. So he might actually like it if his parents would take over for a while: count the carbs in his breakfast, do the test, give the injection, send a lunch with the carbs counted and bolus calculated, give him a watch with alarms preprogrammed for when he needs to test at school, and actually do the care for dinner and bedtime. This also allows them to see how much of his up and down blood sugars are due to mismanagement and how much is puberty and possibly the need to readjust his doses. I'm not saying that's what they should do, necessarily, but it might be something to consider.

If it's any consolation, I hang out sometimes on an board for adult diabetics and quite a few of them seem to have had a few bad years in their teens, then come to their senses and gone on to achieve great control. I'm sure that doesn't make it any easier to stand by now and watch your nephew make poor choices or take the worry away though.

KeltonsMom

10-01-2007, 08:47 PM

Sounds like my life..I have a teen who lies about testing, who would forget to test, lost his meter, lost his pen,, Heck lost his pump when he was on the pump.. We do not allow candy to be eaten so he would get some from friends at school and not bolus for it:eek:

It is hard.. I now watch him when he tests, I look at the meter, I make sure he boluses for food. He is home schooled so no more sneaking candy.

I finally had to take away television privileges for a week for forgetting to test even when an alarm went off for him to test :eek:

Now my son is getting better because of something his doctor told him and what the doctor would have us do if this happens again..

Barry

10-01-2007, 09:50 PM

If you live near Jupiter FL, go to the inlet and find Zeke's Marine, a little outboard motor shop hidden in the woods. There’s a man sitting behind the counter (Zeke) that has open wounds on his arms and legs. His legs below the knees are a fluorescent green mixed with pinkish-red open areas. Scaling, some open some closed, down each arm. I've never seen him stand. I sent Alex in by himself to grab some boat parts I had ordered. He's never been the same.

Mama Belle

10-02-2007, 12:00 PM

Hi everyone,

My nephew was diagnosed with Type 1 when he was 3, and now he is 13. All teens are a handful, but he is overwhelming. He has to be forced to test, is constantly loosing his testing supplies, and has been caught lying about his results. Not to mention that my sister has always babied him and allows him to eat whatever and whenever he wants. (Including candy, snack food, ice cream, juice, etc... He eats candy like it is a free food.) His eating habits are justified by just taking more insulin. This does cause him to have lots of highs and lows, which my sister justifies by saying it is just a part of life with diabetes.
Now, my sister wants to know why he is so out of control :confused:

How can I give her advice that she will actually listen to? I've tried every approach that I know to work, but she never follows through. I'm really worried that he is going to hurt himself now that he's a teenager and closer to more responsibilities like driving. Not to mention any possible long term affects of so many highs and lows. Am I being too concerned?
Thanks

It is so nice that you are concerned and I will echo what others have said, that it isn't uncommon for teens to go through this kind of phase at some point. Diabetes is a lot of work and requires constant vigilance. That really does not mix that well with the teen years. Especially if he has been living with D for 10 years. So really there could be a couple of things going on here. One, his blood sugars could be out of control because of the large, varying amounts of growth hormone released in the body during puberty. Two, he could be burned out on his care and may need a little more help from his endo and his parents to remember to test and bolus for carbs. What he doesn't need is people judging him or getting mad at him. He needs to know the real risks associated with not taking care of himself, but then he needs to be given the tools and support to get the job done.

With respect to the food issue ... people with type 1 diabetes really should not require a different food plan than their peers. Obviously it is important for everyone to eat a healthy diet. But a lot has changed in diabetes management since the day when they used to cut out all sugar completely. Now, the preferred and recommended diet plan of most endos is to feed the child normally and cover the carbohydrates consumed with the appropriate amount of insulin. This more closely mimics the way the body would function in a person without diabetes. The only real big change in diet is with respect to liquid sugars, like juice, soda, etc. The insulin action is not fast enough to keep up with the spike in this fast acting sugar in people with type 1 diabetes. With respect to candy, we generally keep very sugary candy to a minimum, allowing her to have a piece here and there with a meal, to smooth out the sugar spike that can sometimes happen with this type of candy.

flabby_abi

10-02-2007, 11:46 PM

Hi,
I just want to let you know that teens go throu SUCH a hard time! Type one diabeteics honestly do not have to eat healthy. i mean... it isnt good for anyone to eat junk all the time... but exercise and diet do not help have controll of type 1 in anyway. In fact, you can never have controll of type one diabetes!!! Especially with a teenager. lack of good care often has nothing to do with bad blood sugars. teens change so much and everytime something in their body changes their insulin needs change. The way to take care of yourselve is to take insulin for what you eat. that is true.

His bad bg levels probably have absolutely nothing to do with how he is taking care of himself.

but it is very good that you are concerned about him!!

jendean

10-03-2007, 01:41 AM

I used to work at a shelter for homeless kids. Right about the time I was leaving, we got a kid who had diabetes. He was a teenager on injections.
He had been removed from his grandparents care because he had been hospitalized for DKA a couple of times. I think they even charged the grandparents with neglect.
Anyway, I got a lot of phone calls from ex-coworkers complaining about this kid, asking for advice... "He tries to cheat on his diet by getting more insulin so he can have cookies for dessert."
"so?" (thats me replying there... )
"so they arent on his diet!!!" ex coworker says
"is he obese?" I ask,
"no" they say
"well then why is he on a diet?"
"because he's diabetic!!!" they proclaim as if I did not hear them the first time.
"He doesn't need to be on a diet if he is not dangerously overweight, and he is doing what he is supposed to be doing, and what the nurses are having you guys do is incorrect."
-stunned silence-
and this is when I hang up in disgust.
The poor kid

I bet your sister gets the same thing from lots of people, and they all mean well,
but like they say...
the road to hell is paved with good intentions.
:cwds:
Best thing to do is ask them questions, not tell them how to do it. Try not to judge, Diabetes has changed a lot in the last 20 years.

wilf

10-03-2007, 02:41 AM

Hi everyone,

My nephew was diagnosed with Type 1 when he was 3, and now he is 13. All teens are a handful, but he is overwhelming. He has to be forced to test, is constantly loosing his testing supplies, and has been caught lying about his results. Not to mention that my sister has always babied him and allows him to eat whatever and whenever he wants. (Including candy, snack food, ice cream, juice, etc... He eats candy like it is a free food.) His eating habits are justified by just taking more insulin. This does cause him to have lots of highs and lows, which my sister justifies by saying it is just a part of life with diabetes.
Now, my sister wants to know why he is so out of control :confused:

How can I give her advice that she will actually listen to? I've tried every approach that I know to work, but she never follows through. I'm really worried that he is going to hurt himself now that he's a teenager and closer to more responsibilities like driving. Not to mention any possible long term affects of so many highs and lows. Am I being too concerned?
Thanks

It is good you are concerned. He's lucky to have an aunt who cares.

jendean raised some excellent points in her post. I've got some thoughts of my own I'd like to add.

Seems to me you're raising several issues:
a) inappropriate diet
b) out of control teen
c) lots of highs and lows.

a) Regarding diet, people with Type 1 D no longer have to adhere to any kind of special diet at any time, provided that they are counting their carbs and giving appropriate insulin doses accordingly. Modern methods of managing diabetes allow a lifestyle flexibility that was unthinkable a couple of decades ago. Unfortunately many people (including many medical professionals) haven't really picked up on this.

Everyone (folks with D and folks without) should of course be working toward a nutritious diet that doesn't contain too much in the way of junk or sweets. My question would be, what is the rest of the family eating? If they're all eating junk/sweets then by all means suggest to your sister that the whole family should improve it's diet..

If only the nephew is eating an excess of junk/sweets, then I think it is valid to point out in a neutral fashion that those foods will not help a body which is already under greater than usual stress due to the diabetes.

b) Many teens are right out of control, and do things that are stupid and hazardous to their health. With diabetes of course, the consequences can be much more severe than they might be for some others. But I can think of more than a few classmates that didn't survive their teens, and they didn't have D. It's just a perilous time in a person's life.

If you can tell your nephew directly and with warmth and without lecturing or judgement that you love him, are worried about his health, and would appreciate it if he tested regularly and took insulin as needed - then this is the best you can do and it may well help.

c) Regarding the many highs and lows - if you've followed the posts on this site for any length of time, you'll see that even in families where the parents are in total control of diet, testing, insulin etc. there are many highs and lows. It just comes with the disease.

What we are trying to do as fallible humans is to simulate the incredibly complex workings of one of the body's vital organs. We will never be able to do it perfectly, the best we can hope for is that we do it well enough for our loved ones to enjoy long, happy and healthy lives. And that is what we're all aiming for.

Amy C.

10-12-2007, 03:17 PM

I believe this person is trying to claim to prevent and "bury" which I assume she means cure diabetes. Please don't even listen to this garbage.

I looked at this site and couldn't quite see where you came to this conclusion. She may be burying some of the common phrases and negatively that comes with diabetes, but isn't claiming this is a cure at all. It looks like she is using humor and positive thinking to instill the good habits which keep folks living with diabetes healthy.

Momof4gr8kids

10-12-2007, 04:01 PM

I looked at this site and couldn't quite see where you came to this conclusion. She may be burying some of the common phrases and negatively that comes with diabetes, but isn't claiming this is a cure at all. It looks like she is using humor and positive thinking to instill the good habits which keep folks living with diabetes healthy.

This is under about Julia. This paragraph makes me think otherwise. Maybe I am wrong, however that is how I took it. I'd like to know how she thinks she can prevent type 1. To me it sounds like rubbish made to make a buck.

"Julie is President of Diabetes Done Right, where she specializes as a diabetes consultant. She is the highly successful author of "Diabetes Can Be Sweet...Once You BURY It." On a personal note, she has had Type 1 diabetes for more than 25 years with no complications. She assists others on how to prevent and bury type 1 and type 2 diabetes."

Momof4gr8kids

10-12-2007, 05:38 PM

Thanks Amy! :) You are right!! I am not claiming this is a cure.
But you are claiming to prevent type 1? This is what makes me think you are here to sell snake oil.....

Momof4gr8kids

10-12-2007, 08:21 PM

I have no snake oil to sell. I wish you a happy and healthy day! :)

Ah, but you didn't answer my question. So I take that to mean that you do claim to prevent type 1 diabetes.

wilf

10-12-2007, 09:11 PM

The operative phrase on the website to which Jamie is rightly objecting is:
"She assists others on how to prevent and bury type 1 and type 2 diabetes."

This is misleading and disingenuous at best, and at worst dishonest - depending on motivation.

If Julie has lived with Type 1 diabetes for 25 years then she knows it can't be prevented. And if she has authored a book and newsletters and website then she knows that words have meaning and that getting the words right so they mean what they say is important.

There is no excuse for the phrase "She assists others on how to prevent and bury type 1 and type 2 diabetes." It will help sell books, but will also raise false hopes and mislead/misinform many who read it.

At a minimum it has to be rephrased as "She assists others on how to bury type 1 and help prevent type 2 diabetes."

Mama2H

10-13-2007, 12:19 AM

First of all, what makes you think you can't prevent someone from getting Type 1 diabetes?
Second of all, I am very happy with what I do for a living and I am not here to defend it.
Mahalo for your opinions, aloha

Ok, I am really freaking sensitive tonight so please everyone else do not hate me forever but.................if there was a freaking way to prevent my daughter's Type 1 I WOULD NOT be mourning the first year of diagnosis!!!! False promises/hopes like this really piss me off. I am glad you are happy with what you do for a living but give me a freakin break. If there was a way to prevent it and you yourself are/was/were a Type 1 WTH would you charge someone to read your book, people would be throwing money at you for saving thier children and I am pretty sure the FDA CDC and a couple of other places would be bowing at your feet.

For any newbie's/parents trying to find a cure for thier child's Type 1: THERE IS NO CURE OR PREVENTION YET. I am pretty sure this site would not be here if there was a way to prevent it. I pray for a cure. I pray for a way to prevent it in case my other daughters may develop it. I will not listen to someone who claims to have the answer and is selling it in a book. I had read an earlier post where the website was mentioned and had considered buying the book for my T1 daughter to help her cope and keep an upbeat attitude. No way in H E double hockey sticks will I buy that book now.

Jamie, thank you for pointing that line out for me. I had not seen it and am eternally greatful as I just about bought that book.

wilf

10-13-2007, 01:49 AM

First of all, what makes you think you can't prevent someone from getting Type 1 diabetes?
Second of all, I am very happy with what I do for a living and I am not here to defend it.
Mahalo for your opinions, aloha

Julie, until I saw this post I was willing to give you the benefit of the doubt. Now I have very serious doubts.

I have not asked you what you do for a living and I've not asked you to defend what you do for a living, I have a problem with you spreading what I perceive as misinformation and raising what I believe are false hopes on your website.

My understanding based on all I've been able to learn and research (from every medical professional I've had contact with, every medical reference text I've had in my hands, and every web site posting diabetes-related information) is that currently medical science is unclear about the precise causes of Type 1 diabetes and certainly is in no way able to give advice on how to prevent its occurrence.

And now you come along, claiming on your website that "She assists others on how to prevent and bury type 1 and type 2 diabetes." Blurring the lines between the two types of diabetes, and suggesting you can give advice to prevent both..

So what's the deal being offered? If I buy your book, I can prevent others in my family from developing Type 1 diabetes? That's how that statement reads to me, and that is inexcusable.

Instead of correcting the wording on your website (and I'd given you what I thought was a constructive suggestion on how to do that in a previous post), you ignored the concerns being raised and blithely posted:
"I am very happy with what I do for a living and I am not here to defend it." Sorry, but that is not in any way an appropriate answer to the concerns that have been raised.

I'll ask you now to give this careful thought and to do the right thing. Please be clear that this is a black and white issue, and that you will be judged by your actions alone.

jendean

10-13-2007, 02:11 AM

Wow,
Mama2H you are completely correct.
This lady is off her rocker.
She needs to be reported

wilf

10-13-2007, 08:27 AM

First of all, what makes you think you can't prevent someone from getting Type 1 diabetes?

Julie, I've answered your question in my earlier post. Now let me pose a question for you, that may help clarify your position:

What makes you think you CAN prevent someone from getting Type 1 diabetes?!

OSUMom

10-13-2007, 08:53 AM

I'd like to hear more also, otherwise with all respect Julie it will appear you came here to sell more books. :rolleyes:

Mahalo! I love Hawaii!

Momof4gr8kids

10-13-2007, 03:28 PM

My aunt id like this. I've looked over the whole site. She is very into natural medicine, which does believe that diabetes can be prevented, and also sometimes taken care of by other means rather then insulin. I am pretty sure that the Bury part, now after reading is going to be something like mediation, getting in touch with ones self, mind over matter, or something similar to that, and I really don't see how you are supposed to not pay attention to your diabetes. That is impossible. You have to figure the carbs, figured the dose (even with a pump you have to be able to look at the dose and be able to say, hey that doesn't look right, did I make a mistake?) dial the insulin, treat highs, lows, test your bg. I think this Bury your diabetes is a way to add to someones denial honestly. In fact that is how most of the site reads is denial. I'm getting off this now cause otherwise I will just blow my top, but Nicole I am glad you didn't order this. I hope everyone that thinks about it sees that line, or this post, but she has a few posts out there advertising this book. This isn't the only thread she has written to a parent about this. Ok done, Jamie

Edited to add: There is also another spot that she talks about getting in touch with your pancreas and that is what she helps you do. The way it was written I was not sure how to take it, but since she cannot help you change insulin doses I do not think it means your insulin pump.

jendean

10-14-2007, 03:10 AM

well, all of that is fine and wonderful that she might be just talking about natural or homeopathic stuff, but the fact remains that there are people out there who are not so bright but have cash, and people out there with a new DX hoping for anything that can make Diabetes not be real....
and she is preying on them.

Lets just not give her any more free press and put this topic to rest, shall we? every time we talk about it, it is free press for her.
Lets talk about something else.

Momof4gr8kids

10-15-2007, 02:16 AM

jendean

10-20-2007, 04:51 AM

i was nto replying to you specifically, just on the topic in general.

Jeff

10-20-2007, 08:44 AM

As to preventing type 1, there are studies underway seeking to prevent total destruction of islets in kids identified as (a) genetically at risk and (b) autoantibody positive. These trials are underway.

As to the other claims, I think we've beat this to death.