5 year anniversary

[BrendaK]

Tomorrow is Carson's 5 year anniversary of being diagnosed. In the past anniversaries, I've breezed through them with an attitude of "hey we've made it this far and we're still okay." I think last year I didn't even remember the anniversary until it was over.

I think it's the 5 year mark that makes me so sad this year. Carson's little body is only 5 years old and he's had this disease for 5 years. How long of a road we have yet to go.

Carson was diagnosed on Mother's Day 2001 -- my first mother's day as a mom was forever unforgettable. We went from thinking that Carson had an ear infection to him being airlifted to a children's hospital in Kalamazoo. I don't know why, but I never spent any time grieving his diagnosis immediately afterwards. My grieving has come in different places at different, unexpected times. I didn't think that I would be so sad about Carson's 5 year anniversary, but I am.

My mom is flying up to visit for the weekend tomorrow. She has had type 1 for 39 years and has been our biggest supporter. Having my mom here, Mother's Day, and Carson's 5 year anniversary is just a little too much for me right now.

Thanks for listening, I just needed to sort out my thoughts. Happy Mother Day to all of you!!

[hold48398]

Take a deep breath. And once more. Ahh, better!


Happy Mother's Day!!!!!!!!!!

[lisamomtotwins]

Happy mothers day. You are a great mommy and such a strong one, all of us dealing with this are! We have to be! Hang in there.

[zimbie45]

Ok now that the tears have started... Thank you for sharing that... The Five year marks such a great accomplishment for not only you but for carson as well... I say CELEBRATE .......go treat you both to a BIG HUG, and some fun.. you both deserve it.. Glad you get to spend this day with your mom too..

[EmmasMom]

Wow Brenda, 5 years of managing Carson's diabetes is a huge accomplishment! Good Job! :)

In my opinion the "grief roller-coaster" can be almost as unpredictable as the blood sugars! I have great weeks where I hardly even think about D, then one day out of the blue something hits me and I feel devastated all over again.

Yesterday I was talking to my aunt, who has been D for nearly 50 years. It usually makes me feel good to talk with her, but it just hit me so hard that Emma could be dealing with this forever. (Not like I haven't thought about that before, but it was a new sense of dread that came over me.) It was like the heaviest weight just sat on my shoulders as I pictured endless years of struggles that she doesn't deserve. :(

I think it's OK to be sad sometimes, and I think you have to grieve no matter how hard you try not to. Knowing your child has been dealing with an incurable disease for 90% of his life is hard to deal with, even if it can be managed! Last month we hit the 50% point with Emma, she has now had diabetes longer than she didn't. Not a happy thought for me.

I hope you have a happy mothers day in spite of the anniversary. You deserve to be treated like a queen for all of your hard work!!!

[wellsfamily]

I hope this doesn't come out wrong, but in a way it is comforting to know that even parents who have been dealing with this for a long time still grieve and have those hopeless fellings that I know I have. Thursday is our 6 month anniversary, and we start the pump tomorrow, so we are either going to Chuck E Cheese (ugh) or Friendly's to celebrate (my nonD daughter learned to ride a 2 wheeler this weekend, so we told her it was to celebrate that as well, so she doesn't feel excluded.) I am trying to make the 6 month mark a positive thing instead of getting depressed. It gives me hope that are all of you out there that have been doing this for so much longer. I know one day we too will be celebrating our 5 year anniversary, and it will probably seem like the blink of an eye. Good luck and try to do something fun.
Heather

[Sue too]

Here we do not so much "celebrate" the date as recognize it. My kids were dx'd in September almost 9 years ago and our JDRF chapter holds its annual walk in September. We walk as an extended family and it simply "marks" the date, rather than celebrates it.

Regarding grief: the grief for this horrible thing put upon our kids will not ever fully leave us, but if we let it absorb us, then it will absorb our kids. We can't let that happen. Our family is proof that they can be kids first and foremost without sacrificing good health.

Keep the faith.