How to tell the kids?...

[bz'smom]

I had my thyroidectomy last Tuesday, and ended up staying 3 days longer than anticipated. My Calcium & magnesium levels bottomed out, and had to stay for iv of both. Any way, my lab results came back today, and my worst fear came true. It was cancerous on the right side. How do I tell my kids? Brandon was scared when he was in the hospital when he was dx with D that he had cancer and was going to die. My Dr was very postivie that it will be curable, because it wasn't in my lymph nodes (they removed some because they were inflamed during my surgery), and it isn't a very aggressive cancer. I'm sick to my stomach, because I'll have to be away from them when I have the radioactive iodine treatment. It was hard enough being away from them when I was in the hospital last week. I'm so thankful for all of you giving us the encouraging words about starting a pump for Brandon (I'm sure you guys didn't even know that you helped us decided to get the pump!) It was so nice to be able to send him to my friends last week when I was thinking I was going to come home in the evening, and DH was waiting with me. My friend does the Atkins diet off and on, and is familiar with carb counting. He did everything with his pump, and she helped him count the carbs. She said he was so proud of it and was very educating to her kids...she was very impressed. We were so proud of him!! Sorry for the rambling...

[selketine]

I don't know how you tell the kids but I think honesty is the best approach. It is good to learn that cancer can be treatable and explain how the treatment means that you will need to stay away from them for a bit. A friend had this done and it seems she did very well for the most part.

I'm sorry you got this news - I know it must be scary. I hope that all goes well with your treatment- keep us posted.

[Mama Belle]

Wow, Brenda. I am so sorry. This must be pretty scary. It is always scary anytime you hear the word cancer. But, moms of D kids are tough as nails and I have no doubt you'll bounce back from this in no time! I know it will be very difficult, that is without question. But you will do it!

I don't know what to tell your kids. That is so hard. I agree though, you need to be honest. I would just tell your kids that they found cancer but that there are a bunch of different types of cancer and that some are very dangerous and can't be treated, but that you have a kind of cancer that can be treated and that you should be okay. Explain to them what will happen with the treatment and tell them that it is okay for them to be scared. But that there is every reason to think that you will be fine.

[caspi]

Brenda, I'm so sorry to hear of your diagnosis. The good thing is that your doctors seem very optimistic and in this day and age of full disclosure, they wouldn't tell you that if they didn't truly believe it. That's the positive in all of this!

As for your children, unfortunately only you can make that decision as you know them best. That's a very tough call....

My prayers will be with you as you go forward to battle this!

{{HUGS****

[Lindy]

That just made my heart drop, I am sorry for your news but glad to hear some positives with it!

I also think you know your kids best, what they need to know and what they want to know.

We'll be keeping you in our thoughts and prayers!

[MLH]

Brenda,

I am sorry to hear of you dx. My sister was diagnosed with papillary carcinoma about 8 years ago. She had her entire thyroid removed. She too had trouble with her calcium at first, but she now has it under control. She had the radioactive iodine this past March. It wasn't horrible, but it wasn't too great either. The worst symptoms were the exhaustion she had from it. But, she has been living a happy and productive life. Thank God

My thoughts and prayers will be with you and your family as you deal with this.

As for your children, there is no easy way to tell them. Have you been to the bookstore to see if they have any helpful books to buy for them? Whenever I have a difficult topic to discuss with my kids my first stop is Barnes and Noble or the library.

Please keep us posted.

[hold48398]

Hey Brenda,

I have no real advice to offer you :( but I just wanted you to know that I'm so sorry for your diagnosis. It must be so frightening despite the good oulook :(. I wish you lots of courage, positive thoughts and strenght. You can and will do this!!!

[Tamara Gamble]

This may sound nuts but call it my way of dealing with issues like this.

Hey guys, you know how I went in to the hospital and had some surgery done? That surgery was to tell me if I had cancer. I am so lucky that they did this surgery and found out that I did have cancer and were able to remove it and it's treatable. I learned that if there is a cancer you are going to get this is the one because they are able to cure it, no problem. I may feel a little sick for a while but I am going to feel so much better when all is said and done. Isn't this great news! They may look at you like you are nuts. Talk to them about their feelings and reiterate the possitive always. Hopefully the possitive sticks.

This is what I had planned to say to my kids when they did my biopsies in January. I had it a little better laid out but you get the idea. Fortunately, my tests were neg.

Of coarse I was also the woman who congratulated her daughter for being brilliant when she was diagnosed with ADD. Einstein had it and most high end business owners have it. Dreamers and doers. All good stuff. Just have to figure out how to put it to good use in boring old school and not to get to overwhelmed with teenage drama.

You are in our prayers when you deliver the news and as you go through this journey. I am so glad that you are okay. My suggestions may not be right for you. It works for me though so I go with it.

God Bless!

Tami

[bogusrogus]

Oh, I am so sorry, I hope everything will be ok, take care;)

[Treysmom]

I am so sorry !!

We will be keeping you and your family in our prayers.

[Tori's Mom]

I'm very sorry for your diagnosis.
What Tami does is what works at our house too. The kids respond so much better to making a positive upbeat conversation out of it rather than a gloomy tearful discussion.
It's very hard to do at times because it's hard to do it without breaking down yourself at times but it sure leaves the kids feeling better/more positive about the negative!!
My prayers are with you!

[Carrie]

Ugh! I am really sorry that you are having to deal with this. :( I will be praying for you and your family.

How old are your children? I guess that would determine whether I would use the "C" word or not. You could say that you had "a spot removed and they want to give mommy some medicine to make sure it's all gone". I like to soften things a smidge.:rolleyes:

[NatGama]

My prayers are with you that you will be fully healed and back on your feet soon. Be truthful with your kids. And tell them very thing that will be happening with your tx. And make sure they know that not all cancer is the same. We know Cancer as a bad word and that is bad but people do get better and go on to be fine.
I have many family members that have had (better now) and have cancer taking it day by day). Get as much info on your type so if they have ? you can anwer them.
Prayers
Beca

[wendyc]

My prayers are with you.
I would just be open with your kids, tell them the truth. Let them know that you'll be having bad days, but you'll be having good days too.

I'm happy to hear how positive your doctor feels about your situation. My neighbor had this three years ago and I just saw him yesterday, coming back from a 10 mile bike ride. His surgery and treatment were very successful. My husbands cousin did to, and nearly two years later, he is doing fine also. They did say the hardest part was being isolated from the family during the iodine treatment.

I'm happy to hear that you have the support of your friend to help with your child. That would be my biggest worry, and now you can breathe a little easier there.

Again, you are in everyones thoughts and prayers here.

[lynn]

I am so sorry. You will be in my prayers as you go through this.
Lynn

[bz'smom]

Thanks everyone for the prayers and well wishes, and great advice. DH & I talked (and cried) a lot last night. We decided to tell them tonight. I didn't want to tell them when I was so emotional. I didn't want to tell them before bed with having to get up for school this morning. We decided to talk about it in a positive way with it all being past tense...I HAD cancer, they removed it when I had my thyroid out, and I'll have to have some treatments, and explain that I won't be able to be around them & why.

We are planning a camp out tonight in our front yard camp fire & all. :D Hopefully it will help cheer them up & take their minds off of our news.