Behavioral Problems...

[twicker1]

I'm not really sure if this pertains to diabetes exactly, but is anyone have severe behavioral problems with their childen? Especially boys? This weekend will be two years since Brandon's dx, and we've had the typical head-butting with him, but his behavior at school has become so out of control (especially since Spring Break), that he has had one detention, one ISS, 3 referrals, and he was suspended yesterday at 11 until Monday. He has become violent in a sense, but only at school. We can deal with him at home with timeouts, but I honestly think the school is about to pull him out and put him in a special school for disruptive children.

We are pursuing different avenues at the moment, but I was just wondering if anyone else has seen dramatic behavioral changes in their children. Brandon is in Kindergarten, and this isn't his first year in school. He previously attended two different private schools and was the most model student you could ask for. I HATE PUBLIC SCHOOL!!! Thought I'd just add that in....

[jpb286]

I dont know what "specific" behavior problems he has been having, but I think there is a difference in what "behavior" can be attributed to diabetes/BG-related "problems" vs. behavior that no matter what is "socially unacceptable".

Some kids get mean and rude when their BG's are at one extreme or the other or fluctuating wildly, but there is a fine line between this and physical aggression regardless of the situation...

I would recommend having your child speak with a child/developmental psychologist with some 1-on-1 time to try and nail what the underlying problem is. I saw one when I was younger(due to family "issues") and we are still on good terms even outside the "office".

As a matter of fact, I was told to "go see him" after I punched a kid in the face that was continually harrassing a girl my senior year, after numerous attempts to verbally defuse the situation. The psych. was so funny (he has known me forever) he asked if I meant to harm the kid, and I said "well if I didn't, then I wouldnt be here now would I?" We laughed about it, and since the school "made me" go(and payed for the visit), we sat there played chess(he still kicks my butt) and shot the breeze for 45 minutes. He told me "you are the most square, level-headed person I know here", this kid was being an ass. "Did you get him good?" We were laughing so hard, chess pieces fell off the table....

[twicker1]

Well, at first we thought it did have to do with his BG. Don't get me wrong though, we still have battles when he is WAY out of range. The problem is that these situations at school are when his BG is high, low, or in range. Basically it is refusal to do work, other teachers having to remove him from the call to settle down, and just down right defiance. I am going to be asked his endo for a referal on Monday, but we have to nip this thing in the bud NOW! One doctor, who hadn't even met him, talked we me on the phone for less than 10 minutes and wanted me to go committ him to the "hospital" for 3-5 days of observation. In the end we decided that wasn't the route to go at this time, so now we are on to phase two... Well, see what kind of response I get on Monday.

[jpb286]

Best of luck, and keep us posted! :)

[Tamara Gamble]

I really can't figure this one out. I think a few visits with a child's neuropsychilogist could help a great deal. It's so hard to gauge sometimes what is what. Does he just hate school? Is he having a hard time all of a sudden dealing with the fact that he has a chronic disease and is only comfortable at home? Is someone or someone giving him a hard time at school about the diabetes whether it be child or adult? There are alot of things that can spark this behavior so don't panic.

It's so hard to say. I'm glad you didn't put him anywhere. Isn't that just like a doctor to make a dx with little to no information. Who's playing God here? Clearly there is something happening that you may not be aware of yet and you deserve the time to figure this thing out not only for yourselves but for your child.

In the big scheme of things, missing a little school until you know what is happening is no big shakes in comparison to the drastic measures this doctor is recommending. Believe me, the last thing that you want to do is have your child institutionalized, doped up on God know's what in order to control him. This is not the first choice of action, this is only a last choice. Who ever recommended this for your child clearly needs his head examined.

I can't tell you what to do and I don't want to go to in depth but our daughter who is much older than your son went from being a model student and child to a depressed, agressive, unhappy person in almost no time. We have been through every avenue that you can think of for the last three years. Finally it is paying off. This is not to say that it will take you this long. We had someone who was very young and very close to us die and throw in the start of menses along with all of the other new's at that age and things can go south fast.

My experience has been though to not always listen to the doctors, you know your child best. Don't medicate if at all possible, trust me on this one. Go with a child specialist, and get a second oppinion always. I mentioned child neuropsychologist because they understand brain chemistry much better. Find someone who will discuss natural solutions first like is there red food dye in anything they are eating or did you know that Omega three fatty acids are lacking in most of our diets and by adding this, these are the results.

In the beginning of our process, I made decisions based on what one doctor or another would tell us out of pure desperation. Never again would I make such choices when I am feeling desperate. I have learned to trust my instincts just like with diabetes. To be clear my daughter has never been institutionalized but I have seen these kids come out of there a wreck. It's not an answer or even an option at this point.

Talk to your son. Really listen. Let him know that you are there for him and that you are going to get through this thing together. Let him know that no matter what he says he is safe with you. His feelings are safe with you. Start here and then start taking a broader approach.

Your family is in my prayers.

Tami

[selketine]

I don't have experience with this issue but I think with him just being 6 that it is a sign of something other than just the diabetes.

We are in the process of having my older one dx'd with ADD (non-hyper - just inattentive) and I often ran across this which seems to be a type of ADD:

http://www.4-adhd.com/adhd-odd.html Oppositional defiance disorder is the name. You might run some google searches on it.
Here is another link: http://add.about.com/cs/comorbidcondition/a/odd.htm
Another URL: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/oppositional-defiant-disorder/DS00630

That just really sounds to me like what you are describing.

I would do these things:

#1 Have him evaluated by his pedi for any other medical issues. Ask the pedi about getting a diagnsosis from him/her for ADD with ODD. What your insurance will cover for testing, etc. I have an HMO so I'm used to going through our pedi for things like this - perhaps your insurance is different. I still think his pedi needs to take a look.

#2 formally request in writing an IEP screening meeting for your child. If you can get a diagnosis of ADD-ODD and and IEP there are must stricter requirements when it comes to disciplinary action. Perhaps during the eval period it will offer some protections as well? You need more advice on that than I can give!

#3 I am finding this book VERY helpful and it is just out in a new edition: http://www.amazon.com/Nolos-IEP-Guide-Learning-Disabilities/dp/1413305121/ref=ed_oe_p/102-2075844-2454530?ie=UTF8&qid=1177162902&sr=8-1
Nolo's IEP Guide: Learning Disabilities is the name of it.

I can't say for sure that part of the problem isn't diabetes related but I think something else is going on. On the positive side he is still really young and I think there is much opportunity if it is ADD-ODD to get the help in place to turn around his school experience.

[blessedmommy]

I agree that you should follow your instinct and don't always take what every doc tells you to heart. My daughter started having behavioral changes a few months after dx. I can't say for sure if it was directly related to the Diabetes but
having Diabetes didn't help the situation. I remember my daughter hiding under her bed and begging me not to take her to school. It broke my heart:(

One thing I would consider is making sure that there are no other medical issues going on with your child. From what I have researched, children with diabetes are more likely to develop additional problems with the Endocrine system like thyroid problems, adrenal problems, problems with the pituitary gland and remember these glands produce the hormones our bodies need to function right...now from what you have said it does sound like his problems are more environmental being that he behaves differently at home then at school.

When I would talk to my daughter about her anger and anxiety she was having she did tell me that she hated feeling left out all of the time...she wanted to stop having to worry about when and how much she could eat. She said she was embarrassed about having to go to the nurses office all the time. I asked her if anyone was making fun of her or teasing her and she said no...but she was still embarrassed. There was one other Diabetic child at the school other than my daughter and she was older, so we arranged for her to go into my daughter's class and talk to the class about being diabetic. She showed all of the kids her pump and told them how it worked, and of course the kids thought she was cool because she was a big third grader. It helped my daughter to see that the other kids accepted the other diabetic girl with no problem. Things did improve after that. Now every child is different and handles stress in different ways and some children communicate verbally and some act out their anger because they are having problems saying what bothers them...Three of my children where assaulted by another family member and all three of them responded differently to the abuse. Play therapy would work better for one of them while just talking about it would work for the other. I had one child pulling their eyebrows out and one started stealing everything they could from other people. I am so glad we are past all of that!!!

I do have to say that I am very grateful for our doctors, but I do not put all of my trust into them because I have learned the hard way that they are not always right. You know your child better than anyone else, you are the one who is with them. It seems that a lot of doctors are to quick to just throw people on all of these meds and don't even try to get to the source of the problem. A lot of meds just numb the problem or delay it and some even make it worse.

My prayers are with you and your family...I hope you find some answers soon

[hallenbeckfamily]

We are having similar problems but not with so much violence. But on our side every time we have a behavior problem we have checked blood sugar and he is always hi. We are working on setting up a behavior management plan for school. But I will say issues only when hi or fast drop and not as bad at home. Still not a excuse tho but we are looking into it more. Good luck and I hope you find some answers,keep us posted I would be interested to hear more as your story is similar to ours.~Jennifer

[Mama Belle]

Definitely have your child see a psychologist right away and make sure they know about his D. In the past we have experienced behavior issues with my daughter that generally revolve around "control". Since your son's behavior is being described as defiant, I would venture that part of him is trying to exert control in whatever way he can. I think control can be a huge issue for D kids, because D takes so much of the control out of their hands.

There was another thread started a while back about similar issues and here is what I posted back then:

Wow. This is tough. I wish you the best of luck in dealing with this. I don't know if I have advice per se, but I definitely have some insight. My daughter is eight and we still have issues with attitude, respect and all the normal kid things. But primarily our battles are rooted in CONTROL. Having spent five years of our life trying to keep Samantha in good control with respect to her diabetes has left her feeling completely out of control of her own life.

Her blood sugars go up and down and she has no control over that, yet her moods swing and it makes her feel bad that she can't control her emotions. She is still on MDI (soon to pump) and so to an extent her food consumption is controlled, when she can eat, when she can't, what she can eat and how much. Her life is contolled quite a bit by this disease, no matter how hard we try to keep things "normal" that's just the way it is. I think it is important to understand what drives our kids responses. I know for certain that many of the behavior issues we have with Sammy are because she tries to exert her control (okay I think you get the point, I'll stop with the bold now) whenever she can.

A psychologist can definitely help you work through these issues, no matter the root of the problem. I wish you the best of luck. This is such a difficult situation and I applaud you for facing it head on.

[twicker1]

Just an update... We went for his usual check up and everything was fine except for the behavioral problems at school. The endo agreed that something was definitely wrong and referred us to Psych department at the hospital.

From what I have heard, this doctor is "THE" doctor, and can usually find out whatever is wrong. Also has the ability to test for everything even when it comes to the brain. We have an appointment on Wednesday. Me with the psychologist and Brandon with the psychiatrist. I am so glad we are finally on the right track to getting some help.

[badshoe]

.. But primarily our battles are rooted in CONTROL. Having spent five years of our life trying to keep Samantha in good control with respect to her diabetes has left her feeling completely out of control of her own life.

Her blood sugars go up and down and she has no control over that, yet her moods swing and it makes her feel bad that she can't control her emotions. She is still on MDI (soon to pump) and so to an extent her food consumption is controlled, when she can eat, when she can't, what she can eat and how much. Her life is contolled quite a bit by this disease, no matter how hard we try to keep things "normal" that's just the way it is. I think it is important to understand what drives our kids responses. I know for certain that many of the behavior issues we have with Sammy are because she tries to exert her control (okay I think you get the point, I'll stop with the bold now) whenever she can. [/COLOR][/I]


That was well said. I think I come to the list sometimes because I can't controll D and I need to hear others can't either. I gotta think it is much tougher on the kids than us parents.

[selketine]

That sounds like the right approach Tuesday - I wish you the best of luck finding out what the issue is and getting it taken care of. He is still a little guy and I think that catching something like this so early and getting help for it - if he has an issue like ODD - is going to make a huge difference for him at school down the road.

[Boo]

I agree that you are doing the right thing my addressing this now (though I think it is already past the point of "nipping it in the bud").

I can't believe your school issues "detention" in kindergarten!?! It certainly sounds like the teacher(s) he has this year are not a good match for him.

Hopefully this doctor can provide some strategies that will help you all to work this out

[Tamara Gamble]

Tuesday, good luck to you. Brain based neuropsychologists are the best. Keep us posted and hang in there.

Tami