My mom's BF passed away last night (vent included)

[mapoe4]

She called me this afternoon when she got home from work and let me know. I really had to bite my tounge because she made a remark about diabetes. I will never say anything to her about this but I really need to get it out because it is really bothering me. I am not trying to talk ill about her BF either she was a very nice person. She had found out a few years ago that she had diabetes (I am not positive of which type but am thinking T1)
she had some major problems with her feet and went almost totally blind. She was a heavy drinker and also used parifinala (SP) I know for certian she smoked pot. HTe remark my mom made was that it was because of diabetes that she passed. This is the most likely reason along with the others but she did not manage her diabetes at all until it was to late. I am not sure but I think she had muttered something about John which really got to me.
I'm sorry but I just needed to say something or it would be bothering me for a long time.

[Gaia]

Dont let it get to you. I know. Easier said than done. But as you said, this woman DID NOT manage her diabetes. John is. This woman drank heavily and used recreational drugs. John does not. Her diabetes was apparently very advanced if she was at the point of amputation and blindness. John's isnt. Maybe she can compare the two but if she does then shes very uninformed. You know quite a bit at this point. You can do 1 of 2 things. You can try to explain the differences to her and help her understand. Or if you know she wont listen, then just let it go. Move on, change the subject, whatever.

I wish you luck and please, vent away!! Its good for you to get it out! :)

[Toni]

Sounds like it was Type 2, NOT Type 1 to me, BF was an adult, correct? The sad part about Type 2, even if it may be easier to manage -- and I'm not sure about the "easier management," just assuming -- is by the time you are diagnosed you may already have complications. Since Type 1 is a more sudden onset, I don't believe kids present with complications at diagnosis. So please don't worry on that score! I don't think it will be long before an artificial pancreas will be relased, cgms will be more foolproof and widespread, I believe you will be able to keep your son in an almost non-diabetic range much of the time. I really do not think this is far off! So please try not to compare your son to an older person with D. You do not have to worry about this. Of course you always will, but I am sure this will not be a reality for today's children with D.

[Colleen]

Heavy drinking is associated with a lot of medical problems in itself ie cirrhosis,hepatitis,etc. She may just be saying it was the diabetes to scare you into making sure John takes care of himself.You cannot compare John to this woman host of medical problems. It's not fair to you or John. You do a great job and are a caring mother.

[mapoe4]

My mom was the one comparing just as she does with my grandfather that passed away in 1982. I try to explain to her that since my grandfather had gotten D as a child that they have come along way. I have also tried to explain to her that in order to prevent all the complications you have to do the best you can to manage D. She is set in her ways and there is no point in trying to get her to see the other side. I just say that there are things to do to manage D and try to change the subject.