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View Full Version : OT Vent-Long..Sorry!


austin_calebs_mom
09-29-2009, 05:13 PM
I am so frustrated it's not funny!!

My sons and I are currently living in a house with 8 other people. My husband and I are living with his family until we get on our feet and can get a place of our own. It's his mom and step-dad, the 4 of us, his sister, her boyfriend and their 3 kids; ages 5 (boy), 4 (girl), and 10 months (boy). My boys are 7 and 6.

We stay downstairs in the basement and my s-i-l and her kids and boyfriend have the upstairs. My kids aren't allowed upstairs anymore, so I don't want her kids downstairs. Two weeks ago all 4 of the older kids were downstairs and the 4 year old jumped on my kids' bed (air mattress) until it was flat and her mom got mad at me cuz I told them that they weren't allowed down there anymore.

Then today it was a fight over video games. My boys each have their own PSP that I don't allow the other kids to play. Biggest reason? There is a PS2 here in the computer room that I won't let my kids play but the 5 and 4 year old do. My reasoning for this is because I know if my kids were to break the PS2, my s-i-l would throw a huge fit and I would have to replace it. And I'm sorry, but I'm not going to do that when she got it free and it's not in the best shape anyways. So I figure the easiest way to do it is to not let my kids play the PS2 and for her kids to not play my kids' PSP's, cuz I didn't buy them (my parents did).

Anyways, since Caleb was high at school, I brought him home a bit early and let him bring his PSP upstairs. We usually only let them play their games downstairs, that way it won't cause the 5 year old to get upset that he can't play. So when Austin got home, I let him play his game and I was going to have them go downstairs before the 5 year old got home, but kinda forgot they had the games out (they get so quiet!!!). Then Caleb came to me telling me that Austin told the 5 year old he could play the game when he was done and I said no. I told my boys to take their games downstairs and when they went to go down there, my s-i-l asked what they were doing. Caleb told her that I told them to take them downstairs and she replied that that wasn't fair cuz her son was just watching. Then Caleb said that I told him that the 5 year old couldn't play the PSP's and I heard her mutter under her breath. And I'm sure she's going to complain later about this to her mom.

I am just so sick and tired of stuff like this happening!!!! I don't think it's unreasonable for me to not let her kids play with my kids' games when my kids don't play theirs. Besides, if one of her kids broke one of my kids' PSP's, we'd be out of a game because there's no way that they would replace it and I don't have the money to buy a new one.

Stuff like this happens all the freaking time here. It's always her kids against mine and I can't take it anymore. My husband says that I'm getting way to upset over what happened this afternoon, but I'm tired of it. I want to get out of here so much!!! I love being able to be with my husband, but we really need our own place.

There's also the whole issue of how my m-i-l treats my kids. You can tell how much she favors the other kids..always lets them have whatever they want and constantly yells at my kids. She never hugs my kids or gives them kisses and she wonders why they aren't affectionate to her! Yes, I know that she's known my s-i-l's kids since birth and hasn't known my kids long, but still, it's unfair. Plus she'll buy things for the other kids and not mine and of course the older two always have to show off what she buys them. I think I made her feel bad yesterday though cuz when we went to visit my mom in WI this past weekend, my mom bought my kids a bunch of new clothes and I made sure to point it out to my m-i-l. Yes, I guess that was mean but I have to admit that I didn't care. The only thing my m-i-l bought for my kids for school was gym shoes, whereas she bought outfits for her daughter's kids. I know it made my husband feel bad about his mom when my mom bought all those clothes for our kids. I do have to say though that my husband makes sure to stand up for our kids when he feels that the other kids are being favored. He will also stand up for me when things are said about how I don't clean the 'right' way or whatever his mom finds to complain about.

Anyways, I better stop now...sorry this went on for so long. I just needed to get all this out!!!

LizinTX
09-29-2009, 06:01 PM
I am so sorry, I personally think it would be stressful just living with my parents again--or inlaws--without adding a whole other family into the mix too. I hope that this situation is very temporary and ya'll can move real soon. ((((Big Hugs))))

Becky Stevens mom
09-29-2009, 06:16 PM
Yeah Im with Liz. Its so tough living with other people like that. Everyone has their own way of doing things and their own opinions. FWIW I think you SIL needs to keep her nose out of your business and worry about her own children. And MILs really really shouldnt pick favorites!:mad: Hope you guys are out of their soon Kayla

Toni
09-29-2009, 08:34 PM
It sounds like you are going to make sure this is temporary. I would try to keep their kids out of the basement, since yours are not allowed upstairs. Maybe develop fake "migranes," so you tell them you need quiet.... You need an excuse that will not cause a problem. You probably have enough to do with your own, without four others.

austin_calebs_mom
10-01-2009, 05:01 PM
More frustrations yesterday: when my husband tried to tell him mom about Caleb being told to throw away food at lunch yesterday, she made no comment. My s-i-l even added how dangerous that was and there was absolutely no response from my m-i-l. Grrr!!! I haven't told my mom about it because I know she'd be freaking out and be insanely worried. But obviously since it's not one of her daughter's kids, she doesn't care. I finally just told my husband to stop trying to tell his mom about it cuz she doesn't care..and he actually said the same thing. Then Austin was trying to tell her how my husband put together their bikes that we brought back from WI this week and her only answer is yea.

It really irritates me how much she give the other kids special treatment and attention. She never hugs or kisses my sons. I love my husband to death and I'm so glad that we're back together, but I don't know how much longer I can take this. Ever single fight/argument we have is because of being here. It even got so bad today that I was ready to pack up and leave. I just hope I have the strength to survive this until we find our own place....

Amy C.
10-01-2009, 05:14 PM
It sounds like you ought to get out ASAP or you will find yourself back with your family.

You ought to back off as much as you can from interacting with folks. Your MIL is probably tired of all these people living in her house and she needs her space.