Shame?

[ggmum]

I was dx with gestational db in my 2nd pg. I was lucky that it went away. I developed it again in my 3rd pg. This time it didn't go away. I found this out 6 weeks after my ds was born. The hospital were particularly insensitive. Basically I was told 'yes you have db, but at least we will take care of your feet'!:mad:

Anyway I became obsessive over keeping my numbers between 5-8 mmol, including after meals. All this came to ahead a few months later when I had a breakdown, and was hospitalised for 3 months :( . This was about 2 1/2 years ago. And I haven't tested since.

The main things I feel when I think about the db is a deep sense of shame. Like it is a dirty little secret.:confused: I am ashamed to mention that I have it. I know it's my fault because I am overweight. I also have pcos on top.:( I also feel a bit like a freak as I have never met anyone younger than 50 at any clinic appointments I go to (I am 32). It makes me want to hang my head in shame. I am also deeply afraid. And then to make matters worse my 1st son was dx with type 2 last year. How can I help him when I can't help myself? And then ther is the mothers guilt. Would he have developed it if I hadn't got gestational db. I am paranoid about his sister and brother developing it as well.

Am I the only one who feels this way?

Angela

[Jen Jen]

Type two is not shame, and not caused by too much sugar or because you did X. Being over weight, there may be other things in play, it contributes to the problem, but is not the cause. In pregnancy, a woman's body does not have necessarily all the nutrients needed(food's fault, not yours), and thus problems will arise, the body will work to protect the baby first, so mum generally runs short, it's very rough on the body. Make sure you get your blood work done first off, check the usual suspects - have your thyroid checked, also make sure you are checked for other conditions, such as Cushion's Disease. These things are heritary. If you have any Native American Indian blood in you, you will certain be at increased risk for type two. A healthy diet is good for all, not just someone that is diabetic(and not as restrictive as people make it to be, it's basically moderation and common sense and shouldn't even be called a diet, and do not even consider Atkin's, it's rubbish). Like I said before, being over weight is not the problem, but does make it more difficult to stay in the lines. Examine why you are over weight. If you barely eat anything and gain a pound by just looking at food, or if you eat reasonably and still gain, there's an underlying condition there, thus blood work is necessary(and a Doc that will run a full workup). I believe most cases of type two are nutrition related(well, lack there of), not weight. It's not your fault and has nothing to do with the gestational D, but further knowledge will help you and your son.

[deafmack]

Having diabetes is NOT YOUR FAULT I repeat NOT YOUR FAULT. Say " I did not cause my diabetes" 10 times. There now do you feel better. With all of the bad and erroneous information on tv and in the news people would like to blame us, but the truth is you are not to blame. One book that I have read that helped me is Diabetes Type 2 The First Year by Gretchen Becker. Especially read the first chapter. Now that you know that Diabetes is not your fault. tell yourself that you are a great person and you are worth taking care of. Take one step at a time. even if you do not check your sugars right away, start with a 5 minute walk each day. Then in a month do a ten minute walk each day. It takes time to learn to control diabetes. This a marathon not a sprint. You can do this! You have a lot of supporters for you out there

[deafmack]

[QUOTE=ggmum;33091]I was dx with gestational db in my 2nd pg. I was lucky that it went away. I developed it again in my 3rd pg. This time it didn't go away. I found this out 6 weeks after my ds was born. The hospital were particularly insensitive. Basically I was told 'yes you have db, but at least we will take care of your feet'!:mad:

Anyway I became obsessive over keeping my numbers between 5-8 mmol, including after meals. All this came to ahead a few months later when I had a breakdown, and was hospitalised for 3 months :( . This was about 2 1/2 years ago. And I haven't tested since.

The main things I feel when I think about the db is a deep sense of shame. Like it is a dirty little secret.:confused: I am ashamed to mention that I have it. I know it's my fault because I am overweight. I also have pcos on top.:( I also feel a bit like a freak as I have never met anyone younger than 50 at any clinic appointments I go to (I am 32). It makes me want to hang my head in shame. I am also deeply afraid. And then to make matters worse my 1st son was dx with type 2 last year. How can I help him when I can't help myself? And then ther is the mothers guilt. Would he have developed it if I hadn't got gestational db. I am paranoid about his sister and brother developing it as well.

Am I the only one who feels this way?

Angel

First of all get a copy of a book called Type 2 Diabetes, The First Year
by Gretchen Becker.
I want you to know you did not cause your diabetes. You are not at fault. Tell yourself that. It will really help you to look at yourself in a positive way. This book is very good and will be a great source of help to you. Do not blame yourself for this. Having Diabetes will make you a better stronger person even though you may not think so.

[zell828]

Being overweight is not a cause for type 2. Not all people who get type 2 diabetes are overweight. My husband was diagnosed at age 45 and he is thin. He did nothing wrong either. Type 2 is usually more likely inherited. His family all have type 2 and now his 8 yr old daughter was just diagnosed on 2/11 with type 1.

[deafmack]

Welcome to these boards. I want to tell you you are not at fault for getting Diabetes regardless of the type. Type 2 is a genetic disorder and also auto immune. Being overweight can be a trigger but it is not a cause. The fact that you are here tells me you are taking the first step in the right direction. Keep posting and asking questions. Another website you may be interested in is http://www.diabetes.org They have a type 2 message board that is quite active. Here is a link that explains type 2
http://www.isletsofhope.com/diabetes/symptoms/type_2_pg_1.html#what Wishing you the very best.

[CAGrandma]

Good advice so far. Let me add the suggestion that you find someone you can talk to about the guilt and shame you feel.

Guilt and feelings of shame are totally worthless emotions UNLESS they meet 2 criteria. First, are the feelings based on reality or are you taking on blame that you shouldn't. As the others have pointed out, you did not cause your diabetes. Yes, you did make a mistake in not following healthy eating and good exercise patterns. That might (no guarantee) have helped delay or avoid the diabetes. Gee, you made a mistake. Maybe you are human. There is no shame in making a mistake, it wasn't a deliberately evil thing you did and you didn't know or realize the importance. So no shame, but maybe you should feel just a little bit of guilt - just enough to take you to criteria 2.

The second thing is, does the guilt exist to get you to do the right thing? You came here. You are trying to do the right thing - get control of your health. Excellent! Rejoice in that little bit of guilt you deserve and let it work for you.