Six months down the line

[Maya's mom]

Hello,
It's been quite some time since I last posted and the past few months have been a real learning curve. My two year old daughter was diagnosed with diabetes six months ago. It has been the most stressful time of my life, but her resilience and acceptance of injections and pricks always astounds me and boosts me when I am feeling down about it.

Funnily enough, I coped very well in the beginning, but lately have been feeling incredibly grief-stricken and choke up every time someone refers to my daughter as a "special needs" child or talks about her "chronic" condition. That's when it hits home for me.

The biggest adjustment for me has been the unbelievable mood swings Maya has when she is very high or very low. When very high, there is absolutely no reasoning with her. She just screams and screams and screams and runs away from me. Her sister, who is turning four next month, really endures the brunt of it. She often has to give in, give Maya what she wants or accept that her sister is being that way because of her sugar levels being so high. It is starting to really concern me as I don't want her to one day say it was always about Maya. So, how do you deal with the sibling dynamic and discipline? Obviously you can't discipline a child with a bg of 20, so how do you explain that to siblings etc?

Anyway, I have just resigned from my job so that I can be at home with my girls until the end of the year and spend more time with them. I have always worked so it will be a new challenge but I'm really looking forward to it. Planning on returning to university next year so that I can become a teacher. Ultimately I want a teaching job at Maya's school so that i'm there to look after her if she has a low.

So, I write to you all on the cusp of my leaving a career in broadcast journalism and entering my new world of diabetes, syringes, insulin and toddlers. I am sure it will be an interesting and rewarding ride!

Catherine
Mom to Anna Born 6th July 2004 Not diabetic
Mom to Maya Rose born 9th Jan 2006 Diabetic diagnosed on the 3rd Dec 2007

[WestinsMom]

Toddlers and D is a whole other animal! It does get much better as they get older.

Don't go crazy staying home. :) We are always right here when you need a little adult interaction.

[Caydens_Mommy]

Everything you are explainin here, I have felt.. My son was diagnosed at 2 as well.. When I hit the 6 month mark, he had his first low and was having seizures, from there I hit rock bottom.. Then I found this place, and let me tell you I have gained some of my sanity back.. I hope that you will find the comfort that I found in this place..

And it is soo amazing at how well small children have adjusted to the shots, Cayden does not mind them at all either.. He never complains..

I wish you good luckin your new journey in life.. I am also going back to school this year to get my teaching degree for many of the same reason as you.. Just remember we are all here for you if you need a pick me up..

[Shirley and Jamie V.]

Life with D seems to have an organic depression curve for the parents. As I've posted and read over the past two years, certain milestones hit especially hard. I think the physical exhaustion plays a part as well. Many of us it low points as we mourn the loss of our "old lives."

The good news is it does get better. It comes in small steps over the years. If it helps, cry here where we all understand. This is the place where you don't have to hide your panic or your pain for the sake of anyone. I've wept quietly while typing, especially during that first 18 months.

Read here often, write when you can. And I promise that one day the clouds do part a little and gets better.

Good luck and God bless.

[kel4han]

I'm so sorry. My daughter was 6 at diagnosis, I cant even imagine a toddler. My daughter had symptoms for at least 2 years. She had meltdowns. Irrational. We walked around on eggshells alot. She became a child that she never used to be. About 6 months after diagnosis when things became better "controlled" she was the little girl I knew she was again. She felt so much better. She would sing and smile again. You will get there too!

As far as the emotions, I was a mess for the first 10 months. (part of that was we started the pump at 6months after dx and it was like starting all over again!) I cried every day. The lack of sleep accentuated that. The worry consumed me. Every minute of every day. We are now 18 months after diagnosis and if anyone told me I would get to this point of "acceptance" I would never have believed them. Most days we dont even know "D" lives in our house. I think we are even a bit happier and more appreciative of life itself. I promise you will get there. CWD was a huge factor in my grieving process. If I didn't have this family here to vent and cry, I would not be at the point I am today. Support is a huge factor in coping.

Learn all you can about Diabetes management from the parents that live it. Diabetes cannot be managed by some book of standards. As you become more comfortable and confident you will live life happy again, and never look back. ;)

[StillMamamia]

Hello,
It's been quite some time since I last posted and the past few months have been a real learning curve. My two year old daughter was diagnosed with diabetes six months ago. It has been the most stressful time of my life, but her resilience and acceptance of injections and pricks always astounds me and boosts me when I am feeling down about it.Our kids' resilience and courage is amazing. This is what keeps me going day in, day out.

Funnily enough, I coped very well in the beginning, but lately have been feeling incredibly grief-stricken and choke up every time someone refers to my daughter as a "special needs" child or talks about her "chronic" condition. That's when it hits home for me. I know what you mean. I've felt that way too. It's like reality hitting you and reminding you that 'Hey...this is your new life' and we are forced to acknowledge that we lead a life with more challenges than the average...but we are capable of doing it and doing it brilliantly. Of this I am sure for you and for everyone here.

The biggest adjustment for me has been the unbelievable mood swings Maya has when she is very high or very low. When very high, there is absolutely no reasoning with her. She just screams and screams and screams and runs away from me. Her sister, who is turning four next month, really endures the brunt of it. She often has to give in, give Maya what she wants or accept that her sister is being that way because of her sugar levels being so high. It is starting to really concern me as I don't want her to one day say it was always about Maya. So, how do you deal with the sibling dynamic and discipline? Obviously you can't discipline a child with a bg of 20, so how do you explain that to siblings etc? The mood swings are scary, but with time, we all learn to cope better with adjusting basal and bolusing and looking for patterns. We had a full year of not always so great bgs, and the mood swings were so frustrating, because we didn't know if they were age-related or bg-related. Punishing behaviour when low, IMO, is pointless, although we always have a talk with our son afterwards, just so he knows if he has tantrums and his bg is ok, then there are consequences. That's our thing though. Others have different ways of handling it. The sibling question is very good. I think with time, you'll learn how to balance, and communicate with your other child to explain why sometimes things are what they are. Hopefully, they'll understand

Anyway, I have just resigned from my job so that I can be at home with my girls until the end of the year and spend more time with them. I have always worked so it will be a new challenge but I'm really looking forward to it. Planning on returning to university next year so that I can become a teacher. Ultimately I want a teaching job at Maya's school so that i'm there to look after her if she has a low. If you believe that's what's best for you and your family, then that's what you should do. You're already making plans for the future and that's wonderful, Plus one year goes by really fast, so enjoy your time at home.

So, I write to you all on the cusp of my leaving a career in broadcast journalism and entering my new world of diabetes, syringes, insulin and toddlers. I am sure it will be an interesting and rewarding ride!And a ride it is!!;) Never one dull moment! Post often, and ask any questions. We're all in this together!

Catherine
Mom to Anna Born 6th July 2004 Not diabetic
Mom to Maya Rose born 9th Jan 2006 Diabetic diagnosed on the 3rd Dec 2007


I had to write this to make my message longer.:rolleyes:

[mapoe4]

I'm new to d but I have been a SAHM for a while I also have a 2yr and 4 yr. My 4 yr is the one with d though. There nick names are John- 4 wild man and Billy-2 wild bill if this gives you any idea how they are. 2 and 4 are hard ages and d on top of it is even harder this I have learned even from only being 1 month into it. i have found that venting on another group I belong to helps alot.

[Mymommymommy]

My daughter was 19 months when diagnosed. She's 2.5 now and we will have been doing this for a year on July 25th. I don't have any words of wisdom for you because i find myself in the same situation. I have a 4 year old named Grace who i feel always has to be the one to "give in" When baby sister is high or low and things don't go her way MAN! you better run for cover. So often times she wins and Grace looses. I'm not sure if that's the healthy way to look at it. I talk to Grace a lot about how sister had Diabetes and sometimes cant control her temper. I think as she gets older and Grace starts talking about things not being fair we'll have a talk about what sister has to go threw on a daily bases and how that's not fair either, but it is, what it is, but we are family, and will work threw it together. I tell her constantly that I love her and I whisper in her ear that she's my special girl. It makes her smile. It's a constant battle we face day in and day out. I know there is a term out there that a lot of us suffer from and it's Mommy guilt. All mothers have mommy guilt and I think when you throw D on top of that the guilt magnifies. I feel guilty for Grace, so when we plan something just for her that Presley can't be apart of like a special trip to the movies, or an outing with Grandma i feel guilty for Presley I think.. So she doesn't get the special trip because so much time is spent with her already.. but for what? Diabetes.. that hardly seems fair. My mom told me once "you give each child what they need, and you can't do more than that.... sometimes one will need more than the other.. and that's okay" I try to remember that when I have guilty moments.
I'm sure it will get eaiser, well at least i hope it does. I'm not quite there yet. It's not totally bright at the end of that tunnel for me either, but I do think it's gotten easier. Just love them both kiss them offten and hug them constantly!!

[shekov]

Your post reminded me of something.

A few month into D we had an appt. with the endo. As usual, my 2 older kids (9yrs and 6 yrs) went along. When the nurse asked how everyone was adjusting I immediatly answered GREAT...I really thought we were. When she directed the question at the older kids, BOTH of my kids said it was really hard for THEM, that Charlotte got a lot more attention and that they felt sorta neglected. I was surprised ...and embarassed. I'd been trying to make it all normal for Charlotte and thought we were all chugging along just fine.

I guess my point is that we need to take time out to look at each of our kids as individuals and see what they really need from us. My son needed me to spend a few minutes of one on one time with him at the end of the day. My duaghter needed to be more involved in caring for her sister to feel some control and feel important.

Something else i'd like to bring up though I'm sure it's crossed your mind...staying home is not easy. It can be great and rewarding but it can also be exhausting, frustrating, and mind numbingly dull. Make sure you take care of yourself, too.