Keeping them safe, keeping them kids

[Sarah Maddie's Mom]

I've been thinking a lot lately about how to balance my kids safety with her sanity. And while I don't know that there is any ideal point on the bar, I am interested in how you feel your doing balancing your D kids need to be safe,i.e. carrying tester, tabs, juice, phone, wearing ID, maybe carrying a glucagon all the while letting them be free from the very un-kid friendly burden of schlepping all this stuff around, plus using them and being aware always that they are there and that in some way, danger is always there.

Any thoughts?

[beaniesmom]

I recently had a thought about this. At first, I was responsible for carrying everything around. Dd was 7 at dx. I carried a monster purse. Then, I thought she could get a really cute, small backpack and be responsible for her own stuff. I was still carrying a large purse...and I had "extras" in it:rolleyes:

Then I came to the conculsion that she has the rest of her life to be responsible for her own stuff. She always felt soooo guilty if she forgot it even on a trip to the store. What am I here for if not to take care of her. I put away her backpack, got out my backpack and resumed the identity of pack mule. And I am schlepping some stuff...

Now, to see her without that backpack is a little wierd since it seemed she always had it on.:cwds:

[wilf]

I've been thinking a lot lately about how to balance my kids safety with her sanity. And while I don't know that there is any ideal point on the bar, I am interested in how you feel your doing balancing your D kids need to be safe,i.e. carrying tester, tabs, juice, phone, wearing ID, maybe carrying a glucagon all the while letting them be free from the very un-kid friendly burden of schlepping all this stuff around, plus using them and being aware always that they are there and that in some way, danger is always there.

Any thoughts?

Glad you posted this. I actually find this maybe harder in some ways than managing the D, where at least there are some equations and empirical rules to go by. This may be because I'm so science-focussed :rolleyes:.

But maybe it's also because it just really is hard to find the balance between letting them be children, and at the same time telling and teaching them what they need to do and to know to be safe..

We try to minimize the intrusion of the D into her life, so in terms of stuff our DD typically just has a test kit (incl. glucose) with her, and insulin and 2 syringes if it's over the next meal.

As I see it our DD is just coming into the highest-risk age group, and I by no means see the D as the worst risk she'll face in her teens (though it does increase the overall risk).

[frizzyrazzy]

It is hard, isn't it!

I usually carry all the responsible stuff but I'll say to Ian, "go get your meter for me" and I"ll put it in my purse. This way he knows that it's coming with us, and he's getting used to the fact that it ALWAYS comes with us when we leave the house (tabs are always in my purse already) . Or if we're going for a bike ride, I will have him grab the meter and a package of tabs and often I will make him carry the tabs in one of his pockets. Just little things, step by step, little by little.

I put it in the same context of teaching as we do with other skills that he's going to need to live. I teach him how to cook, and we do it for fun, but just because someday he'll need to know how to feed himself, I don't expect him to do it all now.

[GaPeach]

Melissa has a backpack with meter, snacks, juice, small water bottle, glucagon and gel. She feels "lost" without it. Her friends will remind her to grab it if she starts off without it.

It's just her routine.

[dqmomof3]

Jayden has "the cat bag." It has the glucagon, gel, a few pieces of candy, South Beach bars, and the Calorie King book. She spends a lot of hours at the gym and I'm not there, so she needs to have her own supplies with her. Jayden is fiercely independent, so we have made the willingness to take responsibility for her diabetes the condition for the independence. She doesn't want me to go everywhere with her, and she knows that as long as she has her stuff and checks her bg, she'll have a lot more freedom to go places without me :-).

[hurrayupmom]

I had carried Tori's supplies with me until just recently. She is doing all of her shots herself, so we went shopping and she got to pick out a purse. A big yellow and white "cute" satchel type bag. I figured if she can carry her ipod, cell phone, nitendo, and be responible for those things she can also be responible for insulin and meter. I check to make sure she has it and everything is full with stuff. She has been spending the night alot with friends, so It has helped her out being a little independent. BTW--she is also 11 going into 6th grade. It is time to let her go:cwds:so to speak.

[Lee]

Ugh - Coco carries a D-Bag - that is what it is called. It has everything and it goes everywhere with us. But, now that it is summer, I bought her one of those spibelt thingies, and it fits her meter, and sugar with no problem. So she wraps that around her waist and off she goes!

[Sarah Maddie's Mom]

It's obviously an age effected thing this. Under 8, probably most parents tote around supplies, between 8-12 it's probably a shared responsibility and by 13 most are probably expected to think ahead and carry whatever they might need with them. Generally speaking.

I'm trying to imagine who it looks to Maddie to be reminded every time she goes anywhere that a D crisis could happen and she needs to be prepared for that potential emergency, by having juice, gel or glucagon.

I want her to just "be" in the world and be confident and willing to face life's ordinary risks without having to worry about how her D might make things riskier.

sigh...

I know there's no answer. But I know that I'm watching my own behaviour and language more carefully because I really want to balance instilling responsibility without overplaying the fear factor for her.

I also think this may be a prepubescent girl thing, ( Mom's of boys - am I wrong?) knowing that the 10-12 year old girl is facing identlty challenges on lots of levels, and not wanting fear or self-doubt to become a primary emotion.

[danismom79]

I carry all the d stuff. My daughter just has her skittles in her pocket. When we leave the house I'll wonder aloud, "do I have everything?" Just a few months ago she'd run down the list: phone? keys? money? Now she adds: meter? fast-acting carb? snacks? glucagon?