Feeling a bit guilty..

[Denise]

Before Molly was dx'd, hubby and I were planning our anniversary trip. At the time we were playing around with flying to New England or something. Well...since basically we cannot leave Molly with anyone, we've altered our plans and are going to drive to Chicago, WITH Molly in tow. My son who is 15 has been asking to go to Chicago to some museums and since he hates the beach (we go to Panama City Beach in the fall and this year he doesn't want to go) we decided well, we might as well bring him too. The older two girls will stay with grandma. In the fall, sonny boy is staying w/ grandma b/c he'd rather not go to the beach! :O

So why am I feeling guilty? Because I have a friend in Rhode Island who I haven't seen since last August and I really would like to fly up to see her for a long weekend. To be honest, I'm really in need of more than just a few hours away from Molly and her diabetes. :(:( For that, I feel horrible horrible guilt. I should want to be here every moment for her and really, I do want to be there...but, I'm tired. God is going to strike me down for wanting time away isn't he? I should be here for her right? I promised her in the ER that mommy would always be here for her forever and ever. What if something happened while I was gone?! I have been with her nearly 24/7 (ok... a few days I was gone half day for soccer games with my older daughter)...I don't really know if I can mentally leave her behind. So then I think...well bring her with me...but really, that's not the answer is it? *sigh*

[Seans Mom]

So, you have 4 kids, soccer, school, a husband and D. You are working everyone's wants into the schedule and you feel guilty for needing a little break? Let me tell you....
God is not going to strike you down for taking care of yourself. He loves you too.
You need time to take a breath and just be you with a friend for a long weekend. Big deal. Take it and be glad you have the opportunity to do so, many of us have nobody to leave our child with and KNOW they will survive it. :rolleyes:
I say go for it, enjoy it and try to toss the "I don't deserve to take time for me" thinking in the garbage where it belongs. :D Just be sure to update us on how great a time you had, so those of us who have to live through others can be really jealous. lol :p

[tiffanie1717]

Oh! Don't feel guilty! I feel very strongly that we MUST have time away from our kids in general in order to be better parents. When I am recharged, I parent so much better. Add D in the mix, and being a parent is just exhausting!! I also think that it's good for moms to learn to let go of D care some and rely on our DHs to do their share. I dont' know about you, but I can be quite ASSERTIVE about taking her care on. :)

Only you can decide (with your DH) when the time is right to go, but don't feel guilty for wanting that chance to renew your strength and energy.

[Denise]

But I promised I'd always be here for her. Really, I am the one who does her care about5 90% of the time and to be honest, I'm not sure I am ready to let hubby do the majority of the care ...*hides under desk*. Before she was ill, I travelled a few times a year (for Ricky Martin's Int'l Fan club, a story for another day) but it was nice to have friends who came together and shared an interest. I planned on meeting up w/ a few from here for an afternoon in Indy but that's much different than flying somewhere for a few days. I haven't even mentioned this to Molly..the possibility of me going somewhere. She's so newly dx'd..do I have any business leaving her this soon?!

[frizzyrazzy]

So, you have 4 kids, soccer, school, a husband and D. You are working everyone's wants into the schedule and you feel guilty for needing a little break? Let me tell you....
God is not going to strike you down for taking care of yourself. He loves you too.
You need time to take a breath and just be you with a friend for a long weekend. Big deal. Take it and be glad you have the opportunity to do so, many of us have nobody to leave our child with and KNOW they will survive it. :rolleyes:
I say go for it, enjoy it and try to toss the "I don't deserve to take time for me" thinking in the garbage where it belongs. :D Just be sure to update us on how great a time you had, so those of us who have to live through others can be really jealous. lol :p
that's is exactly what I was going to say. :) Everyone deserves time to themselves. Just because you're a mom doesn't mean that you have given up that right. Just because diabetes came into your life doesn't mean you have given up that right either. A happy mom is a good mom.

[Seans Mom]

But I promised I'd always be here for her. Really, I am the one who does her care about5 90% of the time and to be honest, I'm not sure I am ready to let hubby do the majority of the care ...*hides under desk*. Before she was ill, I travelled a few times a year (for Ricky Martin's Int'l Fan club, a story for another day) but it was nice to have friends who came together and shared an interest. I planned on meeting up w/ a few from here for an afternoon in Indy but that's much different than flying somewhere for a few days. I haven't even mentioned this to Molly..the possibility of me going somewhere. She's so newly dx'd..do I have any business leaving her this soon?!

And you are there for her. Even if you go for a visit... you'll have a way for her to reach you if she really needs something important right? Being there for our kids doesn't mean we have to be attached at the hip day and night, although I've had a hard time convincing Sean of that. :rolleyes: I don't know all the details but sounds like before D you would have gone on this trip w/o a worry besides the usual. Let dad take over for a few days it'll be good for him to see how much is involved. And keep a phone on you, for your sanity and theirs BUT let them know it's for emergency (like "how many carbs in McD meal? , is 315 a good or bad number? is the Lantus the fast or slow one?:eek:) those kinda things. Go, have fun, and then come back to tell them how much you missed them. :D

[Judy&Alli]

So, you have 4 kids, soccer, school, a husband and D. You are working everyone's wants into the schedule and you feel guilty for needing a little break? Let me tell you....
God is not going to strike you down for taking care of yourself. He loves you too.
You need time to take a breath and just be you with a friend for a long weekend. Big deal. Take it and be glad you have the opportunity to do so, many of us have nobody to leave our child with and KNOW they will survive it. :rolleyes:
I say go for it, enjoy it and try to toss the "I don't deserve to take time for me" thinking in the garbage where it belongs. :D Just be sure to update us on how great a time you had, so those of us who have to live through others can be really jealous. lol :p


Wow, very well said! I ditto that! Sending cyber hugs Denise!
Judy:)

[StillMamamia]

Take the time away. Tell your child you'll call every day to check on her. You need time to breathe sometimes and I'm sure your DH will handle things well.

[albasmom]

Take the time away. We all need it. Dh and I are going away for the first time next month to Paris. I am so looking forward to it and dd is looking forward to being alone with grandma and grandpa. We all need some space. So I say enjoy and come home a happier mom :D

[dqmomof3]

My husband and I went away three weeks after Jayden was diagnosed. He is the president of a soccer association, and it was the statewide president's meeting, in a nice hotel, with an all-expenses paid weekend. We had been planning on taking the trip for months. I waffled back and forth - should I go, should I stay, should I go, should I stay. I went - and it was the best thing I could have done for my daughter! She learned that her life would go on without me - that there were other people in the world who loved her and would take care of her. They weren't even family - just two of my good friends who were willing to take on the challenge. Everyone did great, I got some time away from the absolute overwhelmingness of "newly diagnosed," and all was well when I got home. Her numbers weren't perfect while I was gone, but they were ok.

So I say - go! You'll probably be glad you did.

[wendyc]

But I promised I'd always be here for her. She's so newly dx'd..do I have any business leaving her this soon?!

And you always will be. It doesn't mean that you have to be in her presence 100% of the time. It means you are there 90% of the time, other 10% you are there, just over the phone. You are not breaking your promise to her!

We went away for a wedding about 2 months after diagnosis. It was scary, but we all survived. It was really important for my husband and I to be together to have a bit of normalcy again.

This may be a good time for your husband to step in and learn more about caring for your daughter, thrust into it, it is sink or swim and he may surprise you.

I think it will be good for you to get away, regroup, be with friends. And yes, you will feel guilty, but the strength of friendship will get you through it.

[suzyq63]

It sounds like it's definitely time for you to get away. God certainly isn't going to strike you down. We've only been at this for almost 6 months, but I've already gotten away for a weekend. And I need another one!

If you won't be able to relax going as far as Rhode Island, what about getting away locally? My husband and I took off for a Friday and Saturday night and only went a half hour away. I left my 21 year old daughter (and two teenage sons) in charge of Alison. I knew I would never be able to relax if I was too far away. But being only a half-hour away, I knew I could get home very quickly if there were any problems; so I was actually able to relax.

I hope you're able to get a break soon. You will be better off for it and so will your daughter.

[zell828]

D or no D, it really helps children to have time away from their parents and vice versa. With D involved, it is even a little more important so the parents can "recharge" and the kids can learn not to become so dependent. It will give Dad a chance to take charge too, which I think is VERY important. Believe it or not, he probably will do better than you think.

Go and enjoy :)

[kodasmom]

My husband & I had a trip already planned & paid for to Cozumel Mexico 3 wks after ds was dx'd. Leaving him was the hardest thing I have ever done in my entire life!!! I had hired a lady to stay with the boys while we were gone that was familar with D. I truly DID NOT want to go, and expressed this concern to his Endo, who in turn told me "You HAVE to go, the bigger deal you make out of this from the beginning, will effect how well he will adjust." So, my dh dragged me to Mexico for the time of my life, the only thing that went wrong was our cell phone bill when we got home!

[susan]

But I promised I'd always be here for her.

Ok I know this may be a little different, but it always helped me..When I was 8 my dad died..Everyone told my mom she should tell us that she would always be there for her..Well that just wasn't and isn't true..So she told us that SHE may not always be there for us but there would ALWAYS be someone there for us..We would be taken care of..That's what I plan on telling my kids when they are older..I don't want to tell them I will always be there for them and then something happen to me and they think I lied to them..She needs to know that her dad can take care of her too..And he needs to learn..What if something came up and you HAD to go somewhere, or even worse what if you weren't able to take care of her for a while..Then what?? Who would do it then..Sorry if I went way off the top with this one:o

[TracieandJim]

Dear Mommy,

Words cannot express what you mean to me. You have always been there for me when times were rough. I know you always will be no matter what.

At diagnosis we were all shocked. Stammering with words. At times hoping to awake from an awful dream. We've mourned and continue to work things through. We work hard daily to understand why and also learn to accept. This is not an easy task. But it's ok. We will get 'there' eventually.

I have faith in our family to continue to stick through the tough times. What could be tougher than this? I have faith that you and daddy will continue to teach me to make the right choices and help guide me through life.

I feel like your hard work and tears deserve a break. I feel like there is a time and place for everything and now is the time for you to breathe. I feel that it's time you take a moment and go and.. do! Do for yourself. Do something nice, fun and relaxing. Sit at the beach, read a book, have a manicure.. perhaps a pedicure? Maybe you need some adult girl-time?

We both know I won't be happy that you will not be at my side 100% of the time but I am a big girl. I can handle it. Daddy can handle it. It's time mom. Go have fun.

LOVE YOU LOTS!!

[Heather(CA)]

Before Molly was dx'd, hubby and I were planning our anniversary trip. At the time we were playing around with flying to New England or something. Well...since basically we cannot leave Molly with anyone, we've altered our plans and are going to drive to Chicago, WITH Molly in tow. My son who is 15 has been asking to go to Chicago to some museums and since he hates the beach (we go to Panama City Beach in the fall and this year he doesn't want to go) we decided well, we might as well bring him too. The older two girls will stay with grandma. In the fall, sonny boy is staying w/ grandma b/c he'd rather not go to the beach! :O

So why am I feeling guilty? Because I have a friend in Rhode Island who I haven't seen since last August and I really would like to fly up to see her for a long weekend. To be honest, I'm really in need of more than just a few hours away from Molly and her diabetes. :(:( For that, I feel horrible horrible guilt. I should want to be here every moment for her and really, I do want to be there...but, I'm tired. God is going to strike me down for wanting time away isn't he? I should be here for her right? I promised her in the ER that mommy would always be here for her forever and ever. What if something happened while I was gone?! I have been with her nearly 24/7 (ok... a few days I was gone half day for soccer games with my older daughter)...I don't really know if I can mentally leave her behind. So then I think...well bring her with me...but really, that's not the answer is it? *sigh*

The point is that you ARE there for her all the time, everyone needs a break, were only human. And IMHO God wants us to take care of ourselves too. If we don't take care of ourselves, how can we help take care of the people around us??? I wish you would go to your friends, and have lots of guilt free fun. It may be too late to change your plans this time, but start saving up and go asap:D And no guilt! BTW doing things for yourself is being a good role model for your daughter:cwds: So do it!