Tired of feeling guilty all the time.....

[DebbieR]

I missed the breakfast bolus again. For both of them. That Ultralink is so efficient, I hear the beeps and assume they are testing and entering carbs (and its the same carbs every breakfast during the school week). I find out at school during K's award ceremony as the school office calls me about O. So I check with K and she too forgot, and looks guilty, completely wipes out her joy at getting her Student of the Month award. Show my face at the school office, and feel like crawling under a stone. Apologised to the wonderful staff there. Wanted to shout that DH is travelling, I was up at 4.30am interviewing candidates across the globe, their A1cs are 6.5, and I can cope! Just tired of feeling guilty, and for the kids feeling guilty, and guilty that I'm tired and perhaps not focusing enough on them. I know you understand, and this happens to all of us. I feel better saying this to people who understand.

[Lee]

No guilt - you aren't allowed! Missed boluses happen - and doing it for two it happens twice as much!

[Ella's mom]

Hi Debbie:cwds:

Raising my hand as I too have forgotten to bolus Ella for her breakfast! Didn't realize until her pre-k teacher called letting me know that her BG was sky high.

I have a little saying that helps when trying to cover come a oops of a moment- lets begin again:)

So cool that Katrina is student of the month!!

[BeckyND]

I totally understand where you are coming from. Sometimes i just feel like "give me a break...enough already." I get so mad at myself when I forget my DD insulin. Sometimes I think her dad took care of it, and he thinks I took care of it. I have even had times when I ask Abbie "now did your daddy give you your insulin." She will say no, so I give her a shot only to find out later that her dad had given her the shot:eek: Especially mornings, they are just crazy crazy. We have to get to work and the kids need to go to daycare -ugh!

[Mary Lou]

Give yourself a break, Debbie. It happens.

I find it is really helpful, especially with two, to have a system in place so that muscle memory and automatic systems kick in, especially when you are tired.

for example, first thing in the morning, the boys crawl into bed with me and unhook for a bubble check, BG test, pre-bolus and snuggle.

then they go off to get dressed and I stumble down the stairs.

We measure/weigh out b'fast, I write their morning numbers down in their school nurse's logs and home logs and then set the logs on the table. The logs don't move OFF of the table until their boluses are finished.

Both boys ask to be excused from the table and ask if their insulin is done. Seriously, this is key. "Mom, do I have my insulin?" They ask. I check. Every morning. It takes us all to make it work.

oops, look at the time. Gotta get to car pool take care

[Nova]

Don't be so hard on yourself! ;) Missed boluses do happen. We are human.

[DebbieR]

Thanks for the encouragement everyone, you are great. Mary Lou, those are super ideas, I will try it (except the bed bit, no time!) instead of the usual nagging mom "did you test, are you sure you bolused, come here and show me the pump, did I remind you to bolus, put in 40 carbs, oh sorry you already put it in" approach which doesn't go down well.

[mollysmom]

I forgot this morning if that helps:rolleyes:

[coni]

I forgot this morning if that helps:rolleyes:

Must be the day for it! We did too...

[ToddsMom]

I thought I was the only one this ever happened to. I feel so much better.

[Kaileen]

Bless your heart. We only have one: I can't imagine having to keep up with all this for two of them!

You don't deserve to beat yourself up. You deserve a gold medal.

[momandwifeoftype1s]

If it makes you feel any better, I feel guilty all the time too. I wish I could get his AIC lower, I wish I could be perfect remembering Connor's shots & carb counts, I wish I could remember to call the endo during daytime hours, I wish I could get a support group together for Connor and others with diabetes, I wish I could do so many things... Sometimes, I feel like my head is going to explode with too many things to do all the time. I cannot imagine having two kids with diabetes. Bless you!

[musicjunkie]

(hugs)Cuz we know I'VE NEVER forgotten:o:p
Like everyone else has said it happens...You're only one woman;) with double the load to boot:rolleyes:

[sugarmonkey]

Must be the day for it! We did too...
Definitely the day for it. Phillip forgot every meal bolus today. My dd is having a bad time with her health problems, and usually I can trust Phillip to tell me his bgs and bolus himself. He's pretty good at managing things himself. Today he didn't bolus for breakfast, morning tea, or lunch. Only corrected when his readings were high.

[Mary Lou]

Thanks for the encouragement everyone, you are great. Mary Lou, those are super ideas, I will try it (except the bed bit, no time!) instead of the usual nagging mom "did you test, are you sure you bolused, come here and show me the pump, did I remind you to bolus, put in 40 carbs, oh sorry you already put it in" approach which doesn't go down well.

I just remembered something else that has helped a lot. Brian is very unorganized. He has a short list taped to the kitchen island of everything he has to do to get out the door in the morning. On the list is finishing his bolus. He's pretty good about checking things off the list.

I know it seems a little "Pre-schoolish" for a 9 year old to have a list like that, but it helps him and it helps me from being the mom I don't want to be (like you mentioned, the nagging mom. Hate myself when I'm like that!)

Good luck!

[Ellen]

Re: guilt

I'm really old compared to most of you magnifient young moms and dads....but many years ago I read a pop psychology book by Wayne Dyer - Your Erroneous Zones (http://www.amazon.com/Your-Erroneous-Zones-Wayne-Dyer/dp/0061091480), which clarified what a waste of energy guilt is....Maybe I was just impressionable at the time...but it has really stuck with me. That doesn't mean I don't learn from my mistakes. It just means I see guilt as fruitless in and of itself. You can click on the hyperlink at the title to learn more if you're interested. One of my professors would say the book helps people address "stinkin' thinkin" (funny prof btw).

[sugarmonkey]

I just remembered something else that has helped a lot. Brian is very unorganized. He has a short list taped to the kitchen island of everything he has to do to get out the door in the morning. On the list is finishing his bolus. He's pretty good about checking things off the list.

I know it seems a little "Pre-schoolish" for a 9 year old to have a list like that, but it helps him and it helps me from being the mom I don't want to be (like you mentioned, the nagging mom. Hate myself when I'm like that!)

Good luck!

Phillip has the same sort of list. And he's 11. He'd go to school with nothing otherwise.

[Julie]

I think I need to read Ellen's book!

Geez I read thru this thread and realize I feel SO much guilt ALL the time when things aren't perfect with the D..and it IS exhausting!

[musicjunkie]

I think I need to read Ellen's book!

Geez I read thru this thread and realize I feel SO much guilt ALL the time when things aren't perfect with the D..and it IS exhausting!

ME TOOO!!I'm tired of stinkin' thinkin'