kyleesmom
05-30-2008, 06:35 PM
This is long, so I apologize.
He and I have never had the greatest relationship. He is my stepson, but Ive been raising he and his brother since they were 6 and 8, they are now 15 and almost 13. Their mother left at that time, and my husband and I have had custody ever since, with their mom getting a 6 week visitation in the summer. I consider them mine since I am raising them, and I treat them no differently than I would my own children and most people dont even realize that they are not my kids. The younger one is fine with that for the most part, but then again, he doesnt remember a lot from when his mom was here. The older one has huge issues with me and with Kylee. He wont do anything I ask him to, constantly picks on Kylee and is just flat mean to her, talks back to me, is rude to my family and Ive had enough of him and his attitude, not to mention his mouth. He has hated Kylee since day one and used to beat her up for calling DH dad. She had barely turned 4 when we married and he is the only dad she has ever known and DH has no problem with it, but Dakota sure did. We were at my parents house a few weeks ago for a family dinner and he behaved so badly that I was embarassed. He refused to speak to anyone, sat in a different room and sulked, when my Mom gave him his birthday card, all he said was "Hm" and walked off and when he did speak to someone it was to call his younger brother names because he was playing with Kylee instead of sitting and doing nothing with him. I so badly wanted to grab that card back out of his hand, tell him he didnt deserve it and give it back to my mom. His behavior that day wasnt unusual either. At most family gatherings, either my family or DH's, he sits with his arms crossed, glaring and sulks. My SIL said something once about him bringing a cloud of doom and gloom with him where ever he went, and its so true. He tries to ruin other peoples good times, ruins games other kids are playing and can be a total downer because everyone tries to get him to cheer up and get involved.
This morning Hunter was late getting up for school. Dakota went and woke him and and when he came into the kitchen he asked Kylee why she didnt wake him when she got up. She told him it was because he yelled at her last week for waking him up when he was sleeping in on purpose and she thought he was doing it again. End of discussion, neither of them was mad or yelling. Dakota jumps in and tells Kylee she is a fat retard for not waking Hunter up and that if she leaves her insulin pen on the table again he is going to throw it across the room and break it. HUH?!?! Where did that come from? I heard every word he said and had it with him and was on my way to the kitchen in an instant. Two days ago he was telling DH about his eye itching and Kylee told him dont rub it or it will get worse, hers did, he looked at her and said "Pipe down moron before I smack you.". His defense for saying that was that he wasnt talking to her. He was told then that his attitude better change here and now or he was going to be spending the summer alone in his room with nothing to do. I told him this morning that if he so much as touched her insulin he would be in trouble and that if the pen went flying across the room, his XBox would fly itself right into the garbage. He told me it wasnt his problem that she had diabetes and was a stupid little brat and I told him that he needed to keep his smart mouth closed and I didnt want to hear another word out of him that morning. What I wanted to say was that it wasnt Kylees problem that his mother is worthless and abandoned him because she would rather be roaming the state doing God knows than raising her kids, but I didnt because I knew there would be no coming back from that. DH and I have a strict rule about not speaking poorly of their mother or about Kylees dad because it accomplishes nothing and I have never said a negative word about her to them. Their mom was not the greatest to them when she was around and Dakota took the brunt of her mental abuse. Even so, both boys think she walks on water and that she cannot do anything wrong. DH and I covered for her a lot in the beginning, and there are times now that I really wish we hadnt because I believe it did more harm than good. She has some mental problems and Im beginning to wonder if he doesnt too. Dakota has been to see a doctor about his issues and he told him that he hates me because Im trying to replace his mother. When asked how I was doing that he said by marrying his dad, cooking his dinner, washing his clothes, taking him to school, that type of stuff. Well whatever, but Im not sure how Im supposed to do anything about that since shes not exactly here to be a mother to him and somebody has to take care of him. He also said he does whatever he can to make me mad so that I will divorce his dad and that he tries to make his brother hate me too. I have now been raising his brother for longer than their mom did and when he realized that he flipped and his behavior got much worse. DH talked to him about seeing someone again and he refused and said he wouldnt do it. They leave in a few weeks for their moms to visit, and I cant wait. I feel like a horrible mother for that, but I cant help it. I spoke to DH about what he said about Kylee's insulin and he is going to talk to him about it. We have suspected him of messing with it before, but couldnt prove it, so didnt say anything. One night Kylee's Lantus wasnt in the fridge even though I know I put it back in the same place the night before. We looked everywhere for it but couldnt find it, so we opened a new one. A few days later I was getting something out of the fridge when I found the bottle of Lantus in one of the door shelves, behind everything else. I know I never would have put it there and Im the only one who gets it out and puts it away. We threw the bottle out because we had no idea where it had been for the days it was missing. I dont know that DH talking to him will do any good, but at least he will know we both feel the same way about it and that may help.
He and I have never had the greatest relationship. He is my stepson, but Ive been raising he and his brother since they were 6 and 8, they are now 15 and almost 13. Their mother left at that time, and my husband and I have had custody ever since, with their mom getting a 6 week visitation in the summer. I consider them mine since I am raising them, and I treat them no differently than I would my own children and most people dont even realize that they are not my kids. The younger one is fine with that for the most part, but then again, he doesnt remember a lot from when his mom was here. The older one has huge issues with me and with Kylee. He wont do anything I ask him to, constantly picks on Kylee and is just flat mean to her, talks back to me, is rude to my family and Ive had enough of him and his attitude, not to mention his mouth. He has hated Kylee since day one and used to beat her up for calling DH dad. She had barely turned 4 when we married and he is the only dad she has ever known and DH has no problem with it, but Dakota sure did. We were at my parents house a few weeks ago for a family dinner and he behaved so badly that I was embarassed. He refused to speak to anyone, sat in a different room and sulked, when my Mom gave him his birthday card, all he said was "Hm" and walked off and when he did speak to someone it was to call his younger brother names because he was playing with Kylee instead of sitting and doing nothing with him. I so badly wanted to grab that card back out of his hand, tell him he didnt deserve it and give it back to my mom. His behavior that day wasnt unusual either. At most family gatherings, either my family or DH's, he sits with his arms crossed, glaring and sulks. My SIL said something once about him bringing a cloud of doom and gloom with him where ever he went, and its so true. He tries to ruin other peoples good times, ruins games other kids are playing and can be a total downer because everyone tries to get him to cheer up and get involved.
This morning Hunter was late getting up for school. Dakota went and woke him and and when he came into the kitchen he asked Kylee why she didnt wake him when she got up. She told him it was because he yelled at her last week for waking him up when he was sleeping in on purpose and she thought he was doing it again. End of discussion, neither of them was mad or yelling. Dakota jumps in and tells Kylee she is a fat retard for not waking Hunter up and that if she leaves her insulin pen on the table again he is going to throw it across the room and break it. HUH?!?! Where did that come from? I heard every word he said and had it with him and was on my way to the kitchen in an instant. Two days ago he was telling DH about his eye itching and Kylee told him dont rub it or it will get worse, hers did, he looked at her and said "Pipe down moron before I smack you.". His defense for saying that was that he wasnt talking to her. He was told then that his attitude better change here and now or he was going to be spending the summer alone in his room with nothing to do. I told him this morning that if he so much as touched her insulin he would be in trouble and that if the pen went flying across the room, his XBox would fly itself right into the garbage. He told me it wasnt his problem that she had diabetes and was a stupid little brat and I told him that he needed to keep his smart mouth closed and I didnt want to hear another word out of him that morning. What I wanted to say was that it wasnt Kylees problem that his mother is worthless and abandoned him because she would rather be roaming the state doing God knows than raising her kids, but I didnt because I knew there would be no coming back from that. DH and I have a strict rule about not speaking poorly of their mother or about Kylees dad because it accomplishes nothing and I have never said a negative word about her to them. Their mom was not the greatest to them when she was around and Dakota took the brunt of her mental abuse. Even so, both boys think she walks on water and that she cannot do anything wrong. DH and I covered for her a lot in the beginning, and there are times now that I really wish we hadnt because I believe it did more harm than good. She has some mental problems and Im beginning to wonder if he doesnt too. Dakota has been to see a doctor about his issues and he told him that he hates me because Im trying to replace his mother. When asked how I was doing that he said by marrying his dad, cooking his dinner, washing his clothes, taking him to school, that type of stuff. Well whatever, but Im not sure how Im supposed to do anything about that since shes not exactly here to be a mother to him and somebody has to take care of him. He also said he does whatever he can to make me mad so that I will divorce his dad and that he tries to make his brother hate me too. I have now been raising his brother for longer than their mom did and when he realized that he flipped and his behavior got much worse. DH talked to him about seeing someone again and he refused and said he wouldnt do it. They leave in a few weeks for their moms to visit, and I cant wait. I feel like a horrible mother for that, but I cant help it. I spoke to DH about what he said about Kylee's insulin and he is going to talk to him about it. We have suspected him of messing with it before, but couldnt prove it, so didnt say anything. One night Kylee's Lantus wasnt in the fridge even though I know I put it back in the same place the night before. We looked everywhere for it but couldnt find it, so we opened a new one. A few days later I was getting something out of the fridge when I found the bottle of Lantus in one of the door shelves, behind everything else. I know I never would have put it there and Im the only one who gets it out and puts it away. We threw the bottle out because we had no idea where it had been for the days it was missing. I dont know that DH talking to him will do any good, but at least he will know we both feel the same way about it and that may help.