View Full Version : I feel like the wicked witch :(
Mom2Deacon
05-24-2008, 12:58 PM
This post's title pretty much sums up how I feel. I had to tell my sons today that DH and I are not getting back together and that we are staying here in Illinois. I know that they were hoping as much as I was, but this is where we are. There have been a lot of tears, not fairs, I wish it wasn't like this, can't you change it, and some I don't want to talk about it's. I cannot stand that I had to do this. I hate being the bearer of bad news to them and telling them that I could not fix this. I had to repeat to myself throughout the entire family meeting that this was the right thing no matter how much I saw their hearts breaking. I am still not done crying today about all of this. This seems so unfair to me too.
--Sara
Treysmom
05-24-2008, 01:39 PM
I'm so sorry Sara.....God Bless you and your family
hrtmom3
05-24-2008, 01:50 PM
Sara, I am so sorry you are going through this and for the pain you and your boys are feeling. Sometimes the right things are the hardest things to do. I will be praying you can be strong through this transition to your new beginning.
{{{HUGS******
zeb'smom
05-24-2008, 02:09 PM
Sara
Having read most of your story here and all that you have been through with your soon to be ex I must say it is clear that every choice you have made has had your sons best interest at its center. I am sorry that your boys are so sad but stay strong knowing that as hard as it may be now you are doing what is right for your boys in the long run. I wish you the best of luck and hope you know that your courage is an inspiration.
Robyn
StillMamamia
05-24-2008, 02:39 PM
Sara, I am so sorry you are going through this and for the pain you and your boys are feeling. Sometimes the right things are the hardest things to do. I will be praying you can be strong through this transition to your new beginning.
{{{HUGS******
Ditto!
(((HUGS))) to you and your family!
WestinsMom
05-24-2008, 03:40 PM
That had to be a terrible conversation. You stay strong! Your boys will understand one day.
I remember that day so many years ago - and it still is making me tear up and my tummy knot up. I think that night is second to finding out about D. A couple of things, my kids always hoped ( and probably still do) that Dad and I would get back together - so I was very careful to be firm in the fact that it wasn't going to happen.
Secondly, I always made sure to pint out that Mommy and Daddy weren't happy together, and now we are alot happier, and then I ask them what little things are making them happy right now. That helped refocus the entire conversations - there were many
Thirdly, not being in your shoes, but reading your posts -I feel you are on the right road that you need to take...it is a tough road, and it is a long road, but soon, you will find that your life is so much happier with the absence of mental and emotional abuse.
I will make sure and say some extra prayers for you and your family while you go through this!
Oh, and I sent you a pm...
RosemaryCinNJ
05-24-2008, 10:41 PM
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Sara********************************************
You are not a wicked witch...You are a wonderful mother. One day your children will understand...and they will be better adults (and husbands) one day thanks to you :)
(I am sorry you were in such a mental and emotionally abusive marriage, that is the worst!!!) You got yourself and your kids AWAY from that..so, again...you are a wonderful and strong mother!!! Here is too a beautiful new life, and one day if you ever give your heart away again...someone will really give theirs back to you in every way you deserve to be loved! Believe that...because YOU ARE worth it! :)
Mom2rh
05-25-2008, 09:05 AM
{{{hugs****** To you and your kids.
You got some good advice so I'll just give you support.
Mom2Deacon
05-25-2008, 10:24 AM
Thank you guys. I am so emotionally wrung out. What is really weird is that I told the kids what was happening and they were upset throughout the discussion. Throughout yesterday and today they are acting like themselves. It is kind of like they were expecting it to happen and once it did happen let the tears run but now the truth is out so let us get back to our lives at hand.
I understand now having to live without the daily abuse. It took me several months for me to understand that at 5 p.m. my world was not going to crash around me. Which was when DH would come home and immediately get onto his laptop at our table to talk with his girlfriend. No time for talking with us. It was let me talk to her and when I am done, I will talk with you. And DH was surprised that I left him after even that...sigh. And he was surprised that I would get angry.
Anyway, this week I am going to find a support group for abuse. I need to. I was joking with my friend that I was going to be therapied out. I have my therapist, the kids with a family therapist and now I am finding a support group. It didn't feel like abuse to me at the time but now I recognize it for what it was including the cycles we were in. Now I am getting used to not having to wait for the other shoe to drop. And that is a hard nervous reaction to overcome I am finding.
--Sara