I'm so mad at my DH

[Kaylee's Mommy]

Today is our 9th anniversary, we are headed to Maine for a long weekend.. When I first brought up going to Maine, he said sure, we hadn't been there in years.. we made plans about month ago.. I paid all the bills around this trip, saved as much money as possible.. we basically live paycheck to paycheck so making a trip this big (with gas costing us $200:mad: ) took some financial planning.. about two weeks ago he starts in that he never said he wanted to go (after I made the reservation and couldn't cancel them) and that its stupid for us to go, we'll have no money.. blah blah blha... its been the source of fights (great anniversary we're going to have!) so.. I've rearanged bills, got everything paid.. we are leaving tomorrow and coming back on monday.. he'll have to go to work on tuesday, he'll be out wednesday because of Kaylee's endoscopy, and go on thursday, when he'll get paid..so I left just enough money in the bank to put enough gas in his car and for groceries from monday to thurday.. so the boob just calls me and says I put gas in my car.. figuring he put in $15 or so (which WILL get him two days to work) he says he filled at $50!! I am SOOOOOOOOOOO pissed off..that was keeping the checkbook happy until next week, now its not there.. He didn't have to fill his freaking tank, $15 would have been fine for two days, then he could have filled it.. so now the check book is going to be rather sad and well have less money for our trip, that was already scarce to begin with, and no money for groceries when we return, and that outa be fun because Kaylee will have to go gluten free.. I tell you, if I could get my money back, I wouldn't go on this trip.. oh, its going to be a fun anniversary!!!:mad:

[Lee]

I'm sorry - there is nothing worse than living paycheck to paycheck - and not knowing how to buy groceries and gas, and then to add on a trip - which should be fun and romantic...:(

[frizzyrazzy]

oh no! I'm so sorry!!!!! it almost sounds like he was purposely trying to sabotage your budgeting so that he could then have something to blame the bad trip on. passive aggressive. uggh.

where are you guys going though??

[Kirsten]

So sorry...

(((hugs)))

Kirsten

[Thoover]

Awww I'm so sorry, you have enough on you already now with everything going on in your life for him to act that way..

[StillMamamia]

Oh, that is really not fair of him...sounds like a power-play going on...on his side.
I can understand living paycheck to paycheck...it is sooo stressful, and all the calculating needs to be stuck to, otherwise major panic ensues. I'm really sorry...
((((HUGS))))

[lil'Man'sMom]

Kim - I am so sorry that DH is putting a damper on the trip. He sounds like my DH, we are taking very limited vacations this year. Our house is still under construction and needs to be done by fall (was supposed to be done last fall) and we do all the work, so if it's not time then it's money.

Please enjoy the trip...Last year was our 20th :eek: anniversary and Man was dx two days prior. We had concert tickets, hotel reservation and the kids were all set. Never the less we did not go, lost a ton of money. We'll make it up sometime. My point is just enjoy because as you know we can not predict the future. The check book will be there when you get back.

[twodoor2]

I'm sorry for your troubles. Ever notice I never call Mark my DH? There's a GOOD reason why!! Men!!:mad:

I still hope you have a Happy Anniversary:o

[Adinsmom]

I am sorry (((hugs))).

I hope you have a nice anniversary.

[Jacob'sDad]

Today is our 9th anniversary, we are headed to Maine for a long weekend.. When I first brought up going to Maine, he said sure, we hadn't been there in years.. we made plans about month ago.. I paid all the bills around this trip, saved as much money as possible.. we basically live paycheck to paycheck so making a trip this big (with gas costing us $200:mad: ) took some financial planning.. about two weeks ago he starts in that he never said he wanted to go (after I made the reservation and couldn't cancel them) and that its stupid for us to go, we'll have no money.. blah blah blha... its been the source of fights (great anniversary we're going to have!) so.. I've rearanged bills, got everything paid.. we are leaving tomorrow and coming back on monday.. he'll have to go to work on tuesday, he'll be out wednesday because of Kaylee's endoscopy, and go on thursday, when he'll get paid..so I left just enough money in the bank to put enough gas in his car and for groceries from monday to thurday.. so the boob just calls me and says I put gas in my car.. figuring he put in $15 or so (which WILL get him two days to work) he says he filled at $50!! I am SOOOOOOOOOOO pissed off..that was keeping the checkbook happy until next week, now its not there.. He didn't have to fill his freaking tank, $15 would have been fine for two days, then he could have filled it.. so now the check book is going to be rather sad and well have less money for our trip, that was already scarce to begin with, and no money for groceries when we return, and that outa be fun because Kaylee will have to go gluten free.. I tell you, if I could get my money back, I wouldn't go on this trip.. oh, its going to be a fun anniversary!!!:mad:

OK, from a man's point of view.
First off I think it's wrong if he said a month ago to go ahead and plan the trip and then all of the sudden wants to pull the rug out from under it. He says he never wanted to go in the first place? How does he explain THAT?
I know I get cold feet sometimes when it gets right down to spending a lot of money on something fun. As a man and and as the primary source of income for our family I feel responsible for the financial well being of our family even if my wife were managing the bills and finances (she's not). It's very hard living paycheck to paycheck and thinking that you have no cushion if anything should suddenly come up. If we had no cushion and then my wife managed to save up hundreds of dollars, my first thought would be, "thank God we now have a little breathing room". I would be very nervous about spending the entire amount on a trip. I would also be very nervous if that money JUST BARELY covered the cost of the trip, because unexpected things love to happen when you least want them to and they tend to get more expensive when you're in another state. I would worry that we would come back from the trip with no money and if anything came up (things ALWAYS come up) to add to the trip's expenses we would be in worse shape than we are now. And how much fun would THAT make the trip?
BTW, the gas can be siphoned from one vehicle to another pretty easily, but if $35 is the deal breaker then you really are cutting it very close.

I'm sorry if I'm not being very supportive here. I really do see your point of view. There have probably been many times when my wife wanted to do something fun and I told her no because we can't afford it. In hind site I probably should give in sometimes. The money's gonna go somewhere any way, it might as well go for something fun. It's hard though, to just let go and spend money on something fun when you're afraid you might come up short. If my family comes up short on money I feel like it's my fault.
OK, I'm rambling now. Maybe I shouldn't have said anything. I'm sorry if this post is offensive. I don't mean for it to be.

[Jacob'sDad]

Oh, and of course,
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!

Our 15th is coming up in a few weeks. We're hoping to take a trip sometime close to our anniversary. Of course my wife wants to know "What are we going to do right on the DAY of our anniversary?" NO plans yet for the EXACT DAY.:rolleyes:

[Lee]

Dave - being a one paycheck family- I am usually -$35.00 by payday :eek:

[RosemaryCinNJ]

You two probably need this trip more than anything..between dealing with DD diabetes and her recent celiac diagnosis...you both are stressed...True he shouldnt of did what he did with changing his mind and then with the gas!! Did you ask him why?? Is he still alive as I post this?? Husbands can be stubborn as hell and they dont communicate to us sometimes as they should!! (unless you are Jacobs Dad, Dave...he communicates)
Im sorry you are having such a rough time, hopefully you and DH will relax a little, and have fun on your trip.

[dbz2988]

I'm sorry Kim. I know how you feel! We live paycheck to paycheck, except I'm the one who gets paid every week. DH is self employeed. He is a landscaper. Everything he does involves fuel and we can't count on him being paid on a regular basis. We were supposed to go away for our anniversary in two weeks, but have had to cancel the plans. Luckily, I didn't make any reservations yet because I had a feeling it wasn't going to happen because of money. It always happens. I also know how it feels to not be able to buy food. mac and cheese, hot dogs, hamburger helper, etc... all cheaper meals that unfortunately we sometimes have to eat night after night...... I truely do feel for you. DH just left about a half hour ago for a fishing trip up north until Monday. We didn't have much money and I had to put off paying our insurance, but this trip was planned in January so I couldn't not let him go. now I'm left with $29 until next Thursday! Luckily I have a few boxes of mac and cheese, a tuna helper and a couple hot dogs. I'll have to make it last through next Thursday!!!

[Kaylee's Mommy]

First, yes, my DH is still alive ;) he appologized when he got home.. ok, well, after I got done yelling at him.. his point is that he was going to need the gas anyway, for next week, but my point is that he could have left a little bit more of a cushion in case something happened (while in maine, that $35, although not much, would have given us enough gas to get home!)... this isn't a new arguement, we argue about gas all the time.. I only put 30 in my tank at a time, splitting it between the week I'm in and the following week.. his point is put it all in at once, you're gonna use it.. but my point is its coming out of TWO different paycheck, right? instead of one.

Dave, I didn't take offense to anything you said.. we don't take vacations very often.. any other vacation we take this summer will be camping locally.. I see your point (you think like my DH LOL) He is the money maker in the family.. I know he's stressed about it.. We went without a lot of 'extras' this past month so I could make sure all bills were paid so we'd have money to take this trip.. and he did say he wanted to go when we first discussed it.. and has admitted to me, on many occassions, that when I start talking about money, he tunes me out.. so, if he doesn't remember the conversation, thats his fault..

My parents paid for half the cost of staying in maine because they knew we needed to get away..

Matt came home with a card... we had dinner, went to the girls t-ball practice, come home lit our unity candle and watched our wedding video.. it was the first time the girls watched it.. they loved it..

Kay.. food/water/shelter comes before any other bills! I use to be very creative about paying bills..

[Carrie]

Ummm...so are you really asking one of us girls to go instead of DH for a girls' weekend out?!?!? :D I don't live close enough. Any other takers?!?!?:D

[Kaylee's Mommy]

Ummm...so are you really asking one of us girls to go instead of DH for a girls' weekend out?!?!? :D I don't live close enough. Any other takers?!?!?:D

LOL.. sounds like a great idea:D

[twodoor2]

Matt came home with a card... we had dinner, went to the girls t-ball practice, come home lit our unity candle and watched our wedding video.. it was the first time the girls watched it.. they loved it..

I think our wedding video (no DVD's back then), is disintegrating somewhere in our video cabinet (if I can find it??).

Well, it was sweet of your DH to do that.

I don't even remember our anniversary. I used to work with this guy that had the same anniversary with his wife that I had with Mark, and this guy used to remind me. I don't work with him anymore, so I don't remember it. Hubby doesn't either, but then again, he can't remember which day of the week it is.:p Isn't that pathetic?! LOL.

[lil'Man'sMom]

First, yes, my DH is still alive ;) he appologized when he got home.. ok, well, after I got done yelling at him.. his point is that he was going to need the gas anyway, for next week, but my point is that he could have left a little bit more of a cushion in case something happened (while in maine, that $35, although not much, would have given us enough gas to get home!)... this isn't a new arguement, we argue about gas all the time.. I only put 30 in my tank at a time, splitting it between the week I'm in and the following week.. his point is put it all in at once, you're gonna use it.. but my point is its coming out of TWO different paycheck, right? instead of one.
Mike and I were just discussing this tonight. I always fill my tank ($70) and he does $20 at a time. I think the cars run more efficiently my way. I told him just to fill it and be done. His thought is that if there is lots of gas that it will get used faster (we have teenagers who drive:eek:), point taken. I just don't want to always run to the gas station.

[OSUMom]

come home lit our unity candle and watched our wedding video.. it was the first time the girls watched it.. they loved it..

What a great idea!!! :)

[Kaylee's Mommy]

Mike and I were just discussing this tonight. I always fill my tank ($70) and he does $20 at a time. I think the cars run more efficiently my way. I told him just to fill it and be done. His thought is that if there is lots of gas that it will get used faster (we have teenagers who drive:eek:), point taken. I just don't want to always run to the gas station.

I have no doubt that my van will run better this way.. I know I get better gas milage BUT I don't like completely draining the checking account every week and would like to leave a little, as little as it may be, in there forwhatever.. When I say we live paycheck to paycheck, I mean we live paycheck to paycheck.. so dividing my gas like that at least helps a bit.. these gas prices are going to cause a LOT of problems for a lot of people.. they're making tons of money, everything is sky rocketing because of it.. but is anyone getting a raise?? Its almost not worth me even working my job because most of it goes into my gas tank..

[Lee]

I think our wedding video (no DVD's back then), is disintegrating somewhere in our video cabinet (if I can find it??).

Well, it was sweet of your DH to do that.

I don't even remember our anniversary. I used to work with this guy that had the same anniversary with his wife that I had with Mark, and this guy used to remind me. I don't work with him anymore, so I don't remember it. Hubby doesn't either, but then again, he can't remember which day of the week it is.:p Isn't that pathetic?! LOL.

Thank goodness I'm not the only one! I swear - I could never remember if it was the 20th or the 21st, or maybe the 23rd! Every year, I would have to pull out an old invitation to look it up! I once wrote a poem and framed it for his present - it had the wrong date written :eek:

Now, I don't have to worry about it anymore :D

[frizzyrazzy]

oh gosh, I always think my wedding is the 23rd but it's really the 22nd. I have it engraved on my wedding ring but for the past 10 years or so I haven't been able to get that off my finger, so I have no clue anymore.

and my vhs of my wedding has pretty much disintergrated too. We got married in 91. Started living together in 88. Twenty years this past february.

[Sandy's mom]

(((Hugs))) to you Kim. I hope it turns out to be a lovely weekend for you.


BTW Marsha--dh can also mean "darn"! :p

[wendyc]

I get confused on mine too!
My anniv. is 4/26 and my nephews b'day is 4/27. I have to pause a min and think!

[liasmommy2000]

(((HUGS))), I'm sorry that happened. It does sound like you've talked and made up so that's good.

Sounds a lot like me life if many ways. We are paycheck to paycheck most of the time and since dh is self employed his income is not always reliable. The last few months it seems by the time I get paid every two weeks, we are in the negative or close. It sucks. I just paid for D camp and now I have to pay the first weeks tuition, registration and activity fee for summer latch-key. And we'll be getting our stimulus check via mail and dh's soc number ends in 97! Sigh.

[taximom]

I'm sorry for your troubles. Ever notice I never call Mark my DH? There's a GOOD reason why!! Men!!:mad:



Oh Marsha...DH can stand for many things depending on the day.;)