Non D child issue

[CJ's Mom]

My precious Haley, she'll be 12 Wednesday. Love her with all my heart, but she's making me crazy. She has absolutely no concept of time and I can not get this child going in the mornings. It will take her 30 minutes to just get pants on. Over an hour and a half (yeah, 1.5 hours!) to get totally dressed and ready for school today missing the bus ... again. It's no big deal if she misses the bu. I can drop her off on my way to work, but if I can get to work early on weeks that they have appointments or whatever, I won't have to use up my vacation time. Used to I could stay in her room and make her get dressed. Puberty setting in and she's now Miss Privacy.
Thinking about a sticker reward chart, so many stickers and we get to do something special. She seems a little old for this but it's all I can come up with now.

Any Ideas??

I'm already dreading the teen years with her.

[WestinsMom]

"Parenting with Love and Logic" would say to leave her home!

[Nancy in VA]

Give her a timer. Set it and leave the room.

When its done, she is on her way to the busstop - however she is dressed.
If she misses the bus, she walks.

As long as you keep giving her the time to take as long as she wants by taking her later, she will.

[KeltonsMom]

Before Kelton was dx'ed with D, I had a hard time getting him up and ready to catch the bus when he was 9. He loved to do everything else but get ready for school..Getting him dressed started to turn into a battle.

I had a friend suggest some tough love and told me that if he wasn't dressed for school when it was time to go to the bus that I should either let him miss the bus or go to school in his jammies :eek:

The thought of this horrified me (going to school in his spiderman jammies) I was also told that even if he did get dressed to allow him to walk to school. The school was only 5 blocks away which was not too far of a walk for him.

So, one morning he did get dressed but was playing with something in his backpack and he missed the bus..He wanted me to drive him to school, instead I told him he had to walk but I would drive slowly next to him to make sure he made it to school ok..

Boy, this went over like a lead balloon, but I did make him walk and I did drive slowly as he walked down the sidewalk.

This was the last time he missed the bus.

[CJ's Mom]

Give her a timer. Set it and leave the room.

When its done, she is on her way to the busstop - however she is dressed.
If she misses the bus, she walks.

As long as you keep giving her the time to take as long as she wants by taking her later, she will.

I think I'll try a count down timer tomorrow along with the sticker chart, thanks!

I'd love to make her walk but we're about 10 miles from school. Neither one of us are late, I just like being on the road as soon as the bus comes.

She was doing real good for a while, but the last two weeks have been nuts. It's a little of the ADD kicking in, she's sooo easily distracted in the mornings before her meds kick in.

[Lee]

Well, stickers wouldn't work for my 12 yr old - she would say so what - what works for my 12 yr old angel - money and chocolate - both rewards motivate her :rolleyes:

[CJ's Mom]

Well, stickers wouldn't work for my 12 yr old - she would say so what - what works for my 12 yr old angel - money and chocolate - both rewards motivate her :rolleyes:

Yeah, money won't work for mine either. Chocolate might.

[MamaC]

My family is composed of tardy genetics.

I am the queen of what I call, "Girl Scout Deadlines." It's what I used to do when I had girls and/or parents who were chronically late and held up the rest of the troop.

I usually tell my gang we are leaving 15 - 30 minutes before we actually need to go. Generally gets us on the road close to the real target time.

I also used to fine my kids for chronic tardiness. They either had to pay me outright or I would deduct it from allowances.

My husband has been left in the doorway many times as he is the prime offender.

~~Becky~~

[3js]

My son hassles me every morning. I make him get everything ready the night before. It is KINDA working. I have been considering telling him he`ll have to go to bed earlier if he`s that tired. But honestly I haven`t decided if it`s worth the arguement:eek::rolleyes:

[frizzyrazzy]

My daughter is known here as the 8th dwarf. Dilly the dwarf. She used to say "but mommy, there is no dilly the dwarf" and I"d say "no kidding because dilly was so darn slow he got left out of the movie".

Anyway, dilly the dwarf is now almost 15 and still sadly moves like molasses on a cold day. I've yet to figure out how to make her move faster. She gets up at 5:30 to leave for school at 7. She's just slow. Whenever we have to leave the house on time for something I have to constantly remind her an hour before that she needs to start getting ready.

I wish I had a solution.

[CJ's Mom]

My son hassles me every morning. I make him get everything ready the night before. It is KINDA working. I have been considering telling him he`ll have to go to bed earlier if he`s that tired. But honestly I haven`t decided if it`s worth the arguement:eek::rolleyes:

That's something else I'm gonna try tonight, having her get her clothes ready the night before. She reminds me of my aunt, she's late for everything. How they catch a plane to fly home is beyond me.

[dbz2988]

We used to have the same problem and still periodically do. Jr used to watch TV in the morning. Not anymore. The TV doesn't turn on until he is completely ready. needless to say, it hasn't been turned on in the AM all year!

We do the same thing, if he's not ready by the time we have to leave, he goes to school with whatever his hair looks like and whatever he's wearing. He didn't like having to go to school with bed head!

[Boo]

We do the same thing, if he's not ready by the time we have to leave, he goes to school with whatever his hair looks like and whatever he's wearing. He didn't like having to go to school with bed head!


Just had to chuckle at this, cause my three boys (8, 10, and 12) couldn't care less about their hair. They choose to go to school on a daily basis with bed head! :o I only hope that someday they care a bit more about the image they are presenting. ;)

Not sure if tv in the morning is an issue for the original poster, but our house rule is no tv before school. (Then again...I am the world's meanest mom, according to my kids).

Does she wake up on her own, or do you wake her? I know that she HAS enough time to get ready (but chooses not to). Maybe if she likes to sleep in, and you threaten her with an earlier wake-up time, it might do the trick. Either that, or try setting some specific timeframes like that needs needs to be awake, dressed, and have her teeth brushed within 15 minutes.

[deafmack]

I would set the timer and tell her she has 15 minutes to get dressed. If she is not dressed by the time the alarm goes off or the timer goes off then she has to go to bed 15 minutes earlier that night or she loses a privilege like her cell phone for a day or the computer or her ipod if she has one. The other thing is if she does things in a specific time period, then let her have an extra privilege like 5 extra minutes on the computer, etc. Oh and if she makes you late to work, charge her part of her allowance if she gets one. At first you will have a tornado on your hands, but you can do this.
My niece was the same way but two years ago her dad had knee surgery and he expected her to do the things I normally do, cause he thought they would not need me since he was home. Boy, it really changed her around and she has backed me up ever since. Use to talk back, whine, nitpick and drive me crazy. NO MORE. I may have lost pay, but it was the best cure ever. Good luck!!! (((HUGS)))

[CJ's Mom]

Just had to chuckle at this, cause my three boys (8, 10, and 12) couldn't care less about their hair. They choose to go to school on a daily basis with bed head! :o I only hope that someday they care a bit more about the image they are presenting. ;)

Not sure if tv in the morning is an issue for the original poster, but our house rule is no tv before school. (Then again...I am the world's meanest mom, according to my kids).

Does she wake up on her own, or do you wake her? I know that she HAS enough time to get ready (but chooses not to). Maybe if she likes to sleep in, and you threaten her with an earlier wake-up time, it might do the trick. Either that, or try setting some specific timeframes like that needs needs to be awake, dressed, and have her teeth brushed within 15 minutes.


TV used to be an issue but it has to stay off in the morning.
I have to wake her, neither one of my kids can wake up to an alarm clock.
I just realized this week I've been having a harder time getting up but I'm thinking it might be daylight savings time (or maybe those 3 a.m. checks the endo threw in last week). Its daylight later in the evening and we're all having a hard time getting to sleep at a reasonable time. That may be a contributing factor. This is one area that she has no concept of time-if there's still the least bit of daylight it is still day time to her. If it is still dark in the morning it is still night time.

I had a talk with her last night and she picked out her clothes for this morning. Changed her mind on what she wanted to wear but did get ready in a reasonable amount of time. Didn't start the sticker chart yet but got the supplies together and will get that going soon-it's one of those crazy weeks where there is some sort of function EVERY night. We're a totaly disfunctional family--always running to "dis" function or that function.

[mjtjmcouch]

All I can say is WELCOME TO PUBERTY the time where your childrens bodies grow and their brains shrink. She may look like she's growing up and she is but her brain is temporarily reverting back to toddler hood.

I have a 13 yr old and a 4 1/2 year old and sometimes I can't tell the difference. :)

My empathy and sympathy to you. As they say.... this too shall pass (some day).:cool::eek:

[3js]

We do the same thing, if he's not ready by the time we have to leave, he goes to school with whatever his hair looks like and whatever he's wearing. He didn't like having to go to school with bed head!

Hehe. I had to laugh with this too. My son would quite happily never shower or brush his teeth again. And if he could wear the same clothes all week he`d be in heaven.

So this threat would not work here. He`d just say: FINALLY:D

[saxmaniac]

I wish I had a solution.

Buy a can of Red Bull.
Brew double-strength coffee with it instead of water.
Put back into Red Bull can.

[frizzyrazzy]

Buy a can of Red Bull.
Brew double-strength coffee with it instead of water.
Put back into Red Bull can.

hahaha... I only wish she drank soda because I'd give that a try. LOL.

[dbz2988]

Hehe. I had to laugh with this too. My son would quite happily never shower or brush his teeth again. And if he could wear the same clothes all week he`d be in heaven.

So this threat would not work here. He`d just say: FINALLY:D


Ya, I used to laugh too, I couldn't believe he was worried about his hair! :eek: I don't even do that, I don't have the time! He wakes up looking like Alfalfa (sp?) ALL THE TIME, and he's got quite a few girlfriends so he has to make sure that he looks good for them! LOL... He doesn't mind what he looks like on the weekends at home, he WILL go a whole weekend without showering, but doesn't like to do it for school!
When he decides to take a shower in the morning, he actually does better. I set his alarm to the annoying "beep, beep, beep" and set it really loud. It usually wakes me up in the next room! He gets up right away. Also, if he starts to slack, I move his wake up time to earlier, by 10 minutes at a time until he can get ready in time.

[CJ's Mom]

I set his alarm to the annoying "beep, beep, beep" and set it really loud. It usually wakes me up in the next room! He gets up right away.

Alarm clocks don't faze (sp?) my kids. They're known to sleep through smoke detectors going off, dogs barking, and more recently-earthquakes. Good thing old mom's a light sleeper.

[bgallini]

My precious Haley, she'll be 12 Wednesday. Love her with all my heart, but she's making me crazy. She has absolutely no concept of time and I can not get this child going in the mornings. It will take her 30 minutes to just get pants on. Over an hour and a half (yeah, 1.5 hours!) to get totally dressed and ready for school today missing the bus ... again. It's no big deal if she misses the bu. I can drop her off on my way to work, but if I can get to work early on weeks that they have appointments or whatever, I won't have to use up my vacation time. Used to I could stay in her room and make her get dressed. Puberty setting in and she's now Miss Privacy.
Thinking about a sticker reward chart, so many stickers and we get to do something special. She seems a little old for this but it's all I can come up with now.

Any Ideas??

I'm already dreading the teen years with her.

Some of these ideas were already suggested but I'm suggesting them again: She has to pick out clothes the night before
Pack up school stuff the night before
Get a new alarm clock for her and do not wake her up
If she's late for the bus, she goes to bed earlier the next night (and it gets earlier and earlier until you find the time that works!)
And/or if she takes too long getting dressed, you have to sit in her room and remind her 'ok, now put on clean underwear, now get some pants on,...' If she's gonna act like a 2 yo and not be able to get dressed then.....

[fredntan2]

Could she be stalling because she doesn't want to go to school?
6? graders are some of the meanest kids around.

I'm trying to get one to school now.
she's been sick all week-(my non D child) time to get out of that sick bed!!!!

[CJ's Mom]

Could she be stalling because she doesn't want to go to school?
6? graders are some of the meanest kids around.

I'm trying to get one to school now.
she's been sick all week-(my non D child) time to get out of that sick bed!!!!

No, she loves school, but those kids sure can be mean. Had a spell this year where they were telling her that she flunked a grade. She didn't but they figured she did because she's one of the oldest in the class. Then there was the issue of friends fighting over friends, which was all nonsense to her. She thinks everyone should just get along and be friends. She does get angry but doesn't dwell on it and doesn't belong to a particular click.

You guys have given me a lot of good ideas. Some of it I already knew or read about in the past but it got lost in my brain. Can't imagine how.