Sad mother's day story

[twodoor2]

I usually don't share very emotional topics, but this just got to me. We have the most wonderful nanny for our children, she's absolutely perfect in every way (almost like Mary Poppins!!). She takes exceptional care of Elizabeth as well. We're so lucky to have her. She recently confided in me that she was trying to get pregnant for years now with her husband (she's only 32), but she could not. I then sent her to the fertility specialist I used five years ago to conceive my twins. They recently performed artificial insemination on her, and everything seemed perfect with her and the procedure.

Well, when I got home today, she was in tears because the results were negative. At the same time, she handed me homemade Mother's day cards from the children, and a picture frame with all three of my children saying "Happy Mother's Day Mommy - we Love you!" How horrible to be informed of such sad news right before "Mother's Day." On top of that, she perfoms singing at events, and she had to sing at a baby shower later that day. It was heart wrenching.

She's very young and healthy, and they are going to try again. I think she would make the best mother in the world, and it's so unfair that she cannot easily have a baby.

No matter how difficult life with D can be, I'm so grateful to have three wonderful children. Some people cannot even have children, and I remember those days all too well. Hold your children close on Mother's Day.:cwds:

[Mom2rh]

That is so sad. I had secondary infertility...it took me close to 5 years and IVF to get pg with our younger son. It was horrible and heartbreaking.

I hope she finds a way to be a mother...through more IF treatments, adoption or whatever road she chooses.

[lynn]

What a gift you are to her. So many of us women don't really understand the heartbreak that she is going through. We don't understand all of the medical procedures and what that does to one's body. We may want to, but without living it we can't.

I'm happy for her that God gave her YOU as a mother's day gift. I'm sure your love and support are priceless to her.

Lynn

[Jacob'sDad]

That's really sad,Marsha.:(
It took us about 3 years to get pregnant with our first son. The problem was with me so both of use were on hormones and finally it happened!
Our second wasn't any easier. After 2+ years of trying we started taking classes to learn about A.I. When we realized that it could take several attempts and could really break us financially, we decided to just be happy with our one child and stop all treatments.
One night we were leaving a friend's house and walking to the car when we saw a HUGE falling star. My wife said "Maybe it's a sign that things are going to look up for us, Dave". We soon found out she was pregnant.:)
A few months after our second was born she was pregnant again with Jacob. We weren't even trying.:cwds:
Anyway that's our story.

I've read that A.I. is only about 25% successful with each attempt. Maybe your doctor has a better success rate than that, but it might just take your nanny and her husband a few tries. I know it's expensive, but trying A.I. just once is like a couple without any fertility problems trying to get pregnant the usual way just once. Luck would be a major factor in success.

I really hope things work out for them. It sounds like there's no doubt she would make a great Mom.

[StillMamamia]

I don't really know what to say, except this is really sad...I hope her wish comes true one day, either by conceiving or adopting.

On a side note, I've a friend who had trouble to conceive. She and her DH just accepted that they were to live without any children, after many many failed attempts.
Then, two years ago, they adopted a baby girl....and their happiness is totally out of this world.

[liasmommy2000]

Oh no, how very sad. :( I hope it works for them soon.

[iluvmhp]

My sister has had 14 AI and recently had a failed IVF. So, so hard for her. She just turned 42. I think she may try a donor egg. The problem is that they have never been able to tell her anything was wrong. Her eggs look great for her age. ect. ect.

She had the failed IVF right when my dd was diagnosed. Just gut wrenching to watch someone that wants nothing more than to have their own child suffer so much. I am hoping adoption becomes a clearer option for her soon.

[Tigerlilly's mom]

That is so sad. I had secondary infertilty and 5 miscarriages between Tyler and Lilly. It is so difficult trying to get pregnant and then facing the disappointment month after month. Infertility treatments are very difficult too, (emotionally and financially). I hope that she keeps trying and is successful. Ended up that I had a rare blood clotting disorder and when I got pregnant the last time, I had to give myself a shot of blood thinner everyday, but in the end it was worth it! Tell her to keep trying and not to give up hope. It will be well worth the wait and the effort.

[twodoor2]

Thank you so much for your kind comments about my nanny. We are lucky to live in a day and age where reproductive technology can do so much for people with fertility issues. Thank you also for sharing your stories of grief and happiness regarding fertility as well.

Just some FYI if you know people that cannot conceive with traditional advanced reproductive technologies. There is embryo adoption and egg donor options as well (embryo adoption and egg donation are two very different things). I know people that have gone through both processes when all hope seemed to be lost, and now they have beautiful children.:)

[Kaylee's Mommy]

I'm sorry to hear that, Marsha.. to have that news around Mother's day is the worse.. I remember those days like it was yesterday.. it took us 3 years to have Jaylin.. not many people realize we had any issues at all because Jaylin and Kaylee are very close in age.. we just got extremely lucky with Kaylee..

I wonder if there is something that you can do for her.. lift her spirits a little bit.. maybe have the kids make 'the best Nanny in the world' cards for her or something.. something to let her know that she is like a mother (or Mary Poppins:) ) to your children.. that its tough to find someone that is so caring for kids to begin with but to have the whole D thing thrown in there, its even harder..

I know it won't make the pain any easier... but it will let her know that you care for her and that you love the way she takes care of your kids..

Hopefully, some day really soon, Her baby dreams will become a reality, whatever road she chooses, I hope its soon for her!

[KeltonsMom]

I had two children, the first when I was 19, my mom adopted this child.

8 years later I had Kelton, but it was a hard road getting to where I could carry a child to term. I lost 4..I wanted another one and Mark and I had an oops, but that did not work out either..If I was able to carry it to term it would have been so welcomed..

I will pray that your nanny is able to get pregnant and have the child she longs for..:cwds:

[Judy&Alli]

Oh Marsha I'm sorry I am late reading this post. I didn't even know that this OT place existed.

If your nanny can't conceive adoption is wonderful!!!! We adopted Alli and her sister Brittany and they have brought us so much joy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:D I can't even imagine life without them!!!!!!!!!!!:D Give her big hugs for me! Sounds like she is so sweet!!!!
Judy:)

[twodoor2]

Oh Marsha I'm sorry I am late reading this post. I didn't even know that this OT place existed.

If your nanny can't conceive adoption is wonderful!!!! We adopted Alli and her sister Brittany and they have brought us so much joy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:D I can't even imagine life without them!!!!!!!!!!!:D Give her big hugs for me! Sounds like she is so sweet!!!!
Judy:)


Thank you for your kind words Judy. Well she's going for her second artificial insemination procedure this Thursday, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

I didn't know you adopted your girls. How wonderful. :D

Thanks to everyone for their kind comments, prayers and thoughts. I appreciate it very much.

[Judy&Alli]

Thank you for your kind words Judy. Well she's going for her second artificial insemination procedure this Thursday, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

I didn't know you adopted your girls. How wonderful. :D

Thanks to everyone for their kind comments, prayers and thoughts. I appreciate it very much.

Yup and it was the best decision of my life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Keeping my fingers crossed that you nanny has multiples!!!!!!!!