She said something that almost made me cry

[Mackenzie'sMommy]

Today when Mackenzie got home she asked me something that almost made me cry. She asked me "did she do something that made god so mad that he gave her diabetes." I dont know how to explain to her that god isnt mad at her and god didnt give her diabetes.

Mom of
Mackenzie (6) dx'd 3/08
Tate (8) no-D
Chandler (12) no-D

[3js]

no wise words here, but (((((((big hugs))))))):cwds:

that a heartwrencher:cwds:

[GabriellasMom]

I don't have any words of wisdom either.. but BIG HUGS to both of you!!

[chocoholicsc]

Oh my goodness...that kills me!! That would have made me cry for sure.
I'm not sure if you're a religious person or not, but we homeschool our kids, and today I was doing some reading with my oldest daughter in the Bible and came across a great passage which I think relates to this very well.
It's the story of Jesus healing a blind man. His disciples ask him what sin did the man do to make him blind? They also ask what sins the parents commited to cause the man's blindness. Jesus answers them by telling them that it is because of God's plan and so that God's work can be done through him. It's found in John 9:1-3
I have had many moments of wondering and asking what I did to cause this in our son. I am so thankful that we read this today, and will hold onto it when those thoughts come again.

Candy

[LantusFiend]

There's a story in Friends with Diabetes from the winter issue (I think), that makes an analogy. It says that like teachers give extra work to students they want to get to know better, God gave us diabetes as a way to get closer to Him.
It's not a doctrinal sort of thing, just an attempt to figure it all out. Answering the question Why me? isn't something that your daughter is alone in doing, and her question might or might not be because she really thinks it's the right answer- she's just trying to figure it out.
Don't treat the question as a big deal. If you've come to any conclusions about why God picked her, you could share them. If you haven't, you should say so and also say that you're pretty sure that God doesn't punish people like that.

[RosemaryCinNJ]

Awwww...she is too precious!! Your post brought tears to my eyes too..
Why is it when they are little kids they blame God and when they are teens they blame moms and dads? Not about diabetes but EVERYTHING else hmmmm...You tell your beautiful girl that God loves her...very much!!

[momofdbsdca]

Sending hugs for you and Mackenzie! It is so tough for them and us to comprehend at times.

[AJsmom]

My son asked a similar question when he was three. My answer was (and still is) that God has very special plans for him. There have been many opportunities for my son to help, relate, offer empathy to other kids because of living with diabetes.

[Shannon's Mom]

We have had this conversation in the past and recently. Shannon has asked the same thing - but mostly when she is frustrated or mad. Last night I felt like she made a huge step. She hasn't really found an answer, but on a level of compassion. Her classmates have made beeded bracelets to sell and raise money for a 4 year old girl known by one of the teachers who has cancer. Last night Shannon said, "I wish I could trade my D with a child who has C for a little while because D isn't as bad and it would give them a break." My heart died for a minute. And again for another minute when I pondered why any child has to even have those thoughts....

[michelleissweet]

Children never cease to amaze us.
She is so precious and that is good that she is tuning you in to how she feels and what her thoughts are.
Aaron has not ask me that yet but i am sure he will. I just try to remember that earth is not a perfect place we are not perfect and we were not promised life would be a bed of roses while we are here.

[StillMamamia]

Very difficult to hear that from your child...sending you hugs!!!
I wonder if she heard that somewhere or if she came up with it on her own...

Now,I am not a very religious person, so I've asked a friend to give me an answer. This is basically what she said:
God does not punish, because he is Goodness....and he has a plan for all of us, and sometimes that plan includes unpleasant things, but that's because He knows we are strong and wise and can handle them, and not because He is mad at us...He just trust us and believes in us so much, He knows he can count on us.

[hawkeyegirl]

I, personally, do not believe my son was chosen by God to have diabetes. In my opinion, that's not the way God works. Jack's pancreas failed, simple as that. What God HAS done has given us insulin, doctors, this website, and the strength to manage his diabetes.

Tell your daughter that God isn't mad at her. Just the opposite, in fact. He is proud of her strength and courage in living with diabetes, and that every day that she chooses to be happy in spite of her diabetes, she is pleasing him further.

[Thoover]

Aww bless her heart. That is hard when they say things like that.

[shirley83006]

It is hard for children to understand and also sometimes for us adults. They are grasping to find a reason for having this. i dont know what your faith is but it seems that you do believe in God. Our faith and understanding is that God is Love. and he does not inflict pain or hardship or sicknesses etc: on anybody for any purpose.. he has made us. and he is saddened by all that is going on in this world. i dont know of the scripture off hand in the bible. but there is a scripture that mentions when a sparrow falls , he weeps , it saddens him to see the living creatures die. just imagine how he feels about us. and it is promised and God always keeps his promises that he will wipe out every tear from our eyes, death and sicknesses will be no more. and a new heaven and a new earth will be here. i am so happy to know that if we are not to see a cure soon, that i know and take much comfort in knowing that i can count on God , and he rid my shannon of this disease. and she also takes comfort in that. And for now he wants us to lean on him, throw our burdens on him. and he will get us through. He gives us strength. he knows what we feel and think. and what we need. and that is so wonderfull. i hope that this gives you some comfort too. and appologize if this comes out to preachy. just sharing my thoughts.

[ange_mom]

So sorry you are having to go through this.
This is making me think of how I need to respond when David asks this question. His father was mad at God over his own diabetes. The fact that his son now has it has made him even more angry.
The longer I live, the more I see that God allows hard things into our lives to make us stronger. When life is easy, we don't tend to grow much. When hard things come our way, it can either strengthen our faith and make us stronger, or make us bitter and resentful. I sure don't want to live my life in a bitter manner. I pray for strength every day to accept life for what it is and to have a good attitude in the midst of whatever storm life throws at me.
I pray that I can influence my son into having this kind of attitude. I see so many wonderful possibilities in him and know that there is purpose in this horrid disease. He will be stronger for it if he chooses to be. I am telling this to myself as I write this.
I hope you have some answers to give her and I hope that we all raise kids who love life and are determined to live everyday to the full!

[czardoust]

well, Kat asked me something like that once. she said "did god give me diabetes?" I flat out told her no. Because at that age (she was also 6) she could twist it into God punishing her because she is very smart and can imagine a scenario like that. :rolleyes: I told her she got it because its in her family and of course she knows grandma Linda has it and aunt Wanda, and she enjoys being with them and watching them take insulin and check BS on themselves because she doesnt feel alone.

[Kiresten'sMom]

My d is very spiritual, she loves to pray, sing christian songs and dance for the Lord. She has not asked why did God let this happen, but she did say, "why want Satan leave me alone disease can only come from Hell, because God does not hurt people."

I told her that God allows things to happen to us, because all of us face hard times and things we we wish we did not have to face. God uses things to make us stronger so that he can use us to touch peoples lives. I told her that God will heal her in his timing and that she could be worse. God has given you a special gift to see things in ways me and Daddy or other people can't.

She dances using sign language and a few ballet or intripative moves to Christian songs that have a message that she wants to share, and she has touch lives. Everytime she dances at church most of the church cries. This makes her feel like her diabetes is making a difference and not just make her life difficult. Hope this helps.

Hugs to you and your child! ((((((:)))))))))))

[badshoe]

No she didn't.

I have written about this at an adult level

http://ydmv.blogspot.com/2007/10/bad-things-happen-to-good-people.html

but not a kid level. That may be an interesting thing to try.