"Your Grandson Has Diabetes" (Diabetes Health)

[Ellen]

http://www.diabeteshealth.com/read/2008/04/21/5730.html

[Thoover]

Thanks Ellen for sharing that, Wow that brought tears to my eyes.

I do realize how much they actually do.. My MIL and I didn't see eye to eye on things. When my daughter was diagnosed she was right by my side helping me through everything. Today we are closer than the 14 years I have been with my husband.

[EmmasPapa]

Excerpted from Ellen's link

"What Grandparents Can Do

I’ve come to the conclusion that grandparents can’t do much about a child's illness, but they can be there for the family in many ways. They can be the people who are willing to listen without making judgments, to baby sit on a moment's notice and to offer desperately needed praise."


Thanks Ellen for the link to this article. Where do you get all of this info??:)

These are wise grandparents. As us geezers get older we have to accept the fact that we may have some limitations we didn't use to have. What we do have, however, is love for the parents and children and the wisdom to accept our limitations and work around them. We, for example, are pretty knowledgable about D care - but not nearly as good at it as the parents. That is why God invented cell phones!:D Communicate with the parents!!

Just yesterday, for example, I took my granddaughter to an ice cream parlor for a little treat. Before we left I checked with Emmasmom on how much I should bolus her. She knew that Emma had some BOB and suggested an amount less than I would have calculated from the treat. It worked perfectly, her BG remained steady and we quite possibly avoided an unnecessary low from over-bolusing.

Thanks again for the link. I know that a lot of parents on here are going to be forwarding it to the appropriate parties.

[WestinsMom]

Well, I forwarded the link to my dad and my in laws....we will see if they make anything of it :)

[EmmasPapa]

Good luck !

[WestinsMom]

Well, I sent it to all surviving grandparents and I only got feedback from the one that already helps us. Mind you, she has to be asked to take the kids and she whines the entire time, but she helps. She said, "Were you hinting at something?" I immediately wanted to back pedal and go with the, "Well, it wasn't really for you." But I decided to take the opportunity to share with her my desire to have grandparents that "ask" to see their grandchildren. That I don't feel that they appreciate all the time and effort I put into caring for Westin's D and homeschooling. I take it personally that they don't consider that I might need a break or that my husband and I might need some time alone. I preface this by saying that Steven's daughter just spent a WEEK at her house.) I said, "Steven (dh's baby brother) is a single parent, Ryan (neice) can't be in the same room with her parent's without them screaming at each other. We all have struggles. Sometimes I tell Jason that we should fake a divorce to get some help." She followed that with a pitiful whine about how she is stressed and needs time to herself. That if she took everyone's kids all the time she wouldn't get any time to herself...boo hoo. At least I got what I needed off my chest. Time will tell if she injested anything I said. :)

[frizzyrazzy]

I know my mom feels the same - sometimes she feels like she's woefully inadequate, but she steps in and does it all for Ian anyway. that's what grandparents do for their grandchildren. They don't simply drift away.

[samheis]

I have mixed feelings about my son's grandparents. My dad has always been the 'clueless' type, so I forgive him for not understanding completely what we go through. But my mom has always been a take charge kind of person, and even though she still hangs out with Sam, she won't reallly learn how to care for him. She gives me excuses, like her memory is bad, she can't see, or she's doesn't want us flipping out if she makes mistakes. My mother-in-law just makes passing comments about how she hates that Sam can't spend the weekend with her anymore, and got upset with me for turning down a roadtrip with her because I'm not ready to travel so far without at least one other person who knows what's going on. My father in law is disabled and suffering from T2, so I often debate with him about the difference in care. And with a new baby on the way, I wish just one of them would offer to learn how to give Sam his shot, so we won't have to worry when I go into the hospital. But they have ALL shied away from that. I try to be patient, because I know they all love him, and they still show support in their own ways, and I know they are all scared. But some days I just want to shake them-their grandson has to deal with this for the rest of his life! We're just asking for so little in comparison.
So I hope grandparents understand that their kids and grandkids NEED them, that as strong as we try to be, it's nice to have someone else to fall back on.

[EmmasPapa]

I try to be patient, because I know they all love him, and they still show support in their own ways, and I know they are all scared. But some days I just want to shake them-their grandson has to deal with this for the rest of his life! We're just asking for so little in comparison.
So I hope grandparents understand that their kids and grandkids NEED them, that as strong as we try to be, it's nice to have someone else to fall back on.

I think you have hit the problem square on the head. Many grandparents are simply scared.

For what it is worth, maybe you can direct them to my blog - DotingGrandparents (http://dotinggrandparents.blogspot.com/) - where we try to show other grandparents that it doesn't have to be scary, that they can safely look after their D grandchildren.

Best wishes.

[dqmomof3]

I think much depends on the relationship that the parents have with the grandparents.

My mom and I have a different kind of relationship. We see each other about once every two years, but we e-mail at least twice a week.

I e-mailed her when Jayden was diagnosed. And honestly, she was my biggest single source of support during those first weeks. She picked out, from my e-mails, the things I struggled with most, and she fixed what she could. I got a card from her about three days after I sent the first e-mail. It said, "I can't do much, but I can do this." In the envelope was a check for $1000, enough to make ten payments of $100 a month on Jayden's hospital bill.

I applaud grandparents for doing whatever they can do, in context of whatever the relationship is. My mother faints, for real, at the sight of blood. She can't do needles. She would never do well with the hands-on care part. But she is there for support for me, both financial and otherwise. She is my biggest cheerleader. And it all matters.

[EmmasPapa]

..........She is my biggest cheerleader. And it all matters.

Absolutely! Some people just aren't cut out for the daily care, but they do what they can.