New with question and vent!

[Sammy]

I’m new here and I can’t believe I hadn’t come across this forum sooner. It would have answered a million questions. I’ve been reading all the posts and there is such a diversity of questions it’s amazing. A quick bio… I’m 29 and my husband is 33. No diabetes what so ever on either side of the family.
We have a 10 year old daughter named Samantha that was diagnosed at age 4.
2002 was the worst year of my life. My daughter was diagnosed in October and my mother passed away of cancer in November. Everyday that goes by is a miracle and I’m grateful for her. She amazes me what a wonderful, compassionate girl she has turned out to be. I can’t picture my life with out her.

Here is where I vent! My husband and I have discussed having another baby. We were among family and friends when a friend of the family said “why would I consider having another diabetic child?” Honestly, it took me by surprise, I was just thankful my daughter was no where near to hear such a comment. I get comments like this all the time, “I should test screen for genetics” before trying for another baby.
Have any of you ever dealt with such a thing, if so how do you deal with it?

[MrsBadshoe]

I've heard that people have mentioned that to others fortunately it has never happened to me personally.

I have 4 kids 2 are diabetic. There is no genetic dispostion that we are aware of in our family. Would I have not had my other children based on the fact that my kids might diabetic probably wouldn't have changed my mind at all. We are in the minority with 2 kids that are diabetic; it does happen but not very often.

If you want other kids have other kids.

[Lee]

I just want to say welcome ~ and they are ignorant!~

[rare]

I've never had that happen but I can say that if someone ever said anything so offensive to me that any response I'd have would be highly inappropriate to post here. ;)

Comments like this imply to me that the person believes anyone born with a disease or disability is less than human or not worthy of life. Ugh ugh ugh.

[mischloss]

Hi, my mother was a latent onset type 1. But in those days we thought she was t2. Anyway, when I was pregnant with my son, she was frantic about me being gestational diabetic (which I never got) and even when I announced that I was pregnant she had a sour look on her face, like she knew that there would be some sort of problem. Well, it turns out that for what ever reason she was right in that our son now has type 1. But even if I would have known 100% that my child would be diabetic, I would not have stopped from getting pregnant. We even tried later to have more children. alas, for other reasons I had three miscarriages and then called it quits after that.

So if anyone says something like this to you in the future, just tell them to mind their business. YOU are the one dealing with a diabetic child not them and if you want more children D or Non-D, you will be taking care of them as well and not asking for any handouts or help in raising them. Honestly people say the stupidest things sometime. :(

[Judy&Alli]

Welcome to the boards!!:) I am so sorry that someone would even say that to you. My dd is my youngest. We decided that she was our last way before she was dx'd. If she were our first I still don't think it would have made an impact on how many children we would have had. I think that was a very cruel and uncaring thing that was said to you!!!!!! I hope it didn't stun you to much and you were able to say something very clever back to them. My problem is I always think of what I should of said after the fact! Have more kids lots of them. Don't let anyone's ignorant comments rob you of the joy of more children!
Judy:)

[Caydens_Mommy]

I would also like to say that I probably wouldn't have had a very nice response to them.. I feel like if you and your husband want another child then you should have one, you will love them if they have diabetes or not!!

[badshoe]

Our T1 son is just about the funniest person I have ever met. Dealing with a happy kid with diabetes is a lot easier than dealing with an idiot adult who doesn't know a thing about it.

[bgallini]

Hi,

Welcome to the group. I was long done with having children by the time Alex was dx but I don't think I would have decided not to have more children if he was dx when he was younger. The chances of my younger son getting D is still quite small.

I would have been tempted to say something like 'certainly you don't plan to have children (another child) b/c he/she might get your looks and personality!' (I only read Miss Manners, I don't take her advice!)

[shekov]

I had a similar experience when I was in High School. (My dad and older brother are type 1, as well as my daghter.) During a biology dicussion on genetics my TEACHER said he felt that people with genetic predisposisions for some diseases such as diabetes should NOT have children. I stood up and told him that if my parents had followed that line of thinking my brothers and I wouldn't exist. How could HE know that one of us wouldn't be the one to discover the CURE. Then I walked out and never went back to that class and flunked it and didn't care. I'm fuming right now just thinking about it!! :mad::mad::mad:

[Lizzy731]

I’m new here and I can’t believe I hadn’t come across this forum sooner. It would have answered a million questions. I’ve been reading all the posts and there is such a diversity of questions it’s amazing. A quick bio… I’m 29 and my husband is 33. No diabetes what so ever on either side of the family.
We have a 10 year old daughter named Samantha that was diagnosed at age 4.
2002 was the worst year of my life. My daughter was diagnosed in October and my mother passed away of cancer in November. Everyday that goes by is a miracle and I’m grateful for her. She amazes me what a wonderful, compassionate girl she has turned out to be. I can’t picture my life with out her.

Here is where I vent! My husband and I have discussed having another baby. We were among family and friends when a friend of the family said “why would I consider having another diabetic child?” Honestly, it took me by surprise, I was just thankful my daughter was no where near to hear such a comment. I get comments like this all the time, “I should test screen for genetics” before trying for another baby.
Have any of you ever dealt with such a thing, if so how do you deal with it?

People are extremely ignorant and IMO, when you are not educated about a subject....keep your mouth shut! I don't get many ignorant comments, more like questions which I welcome with open arms. It's the people that say, "oh, she'll grow out of it" that make me nuts. People that say, "will she grow out of it?" get me in the mood to educate.

I haven't read any of the other responses but I am sure that people have mentioned that just because you have one D child doesn't mean you'll have another. They are at higher risk but the % is still very small.

Welcome!

[AlisonKS]

I've had a few people say, before they knew I was pregnant, "you better not be pregnant", and I think it's cause of Tony's diabetes. F#@*k them! That's all I got to say! My grandparents oldest had type 1, and they went on to have two more children-who never developed diabetes ;) I'm not screening for anything with this child either, wouldn't make me change my mind about continuing with the pregnancy.

[Thoover]

I would have to remove myself from the room if anyone would have said that to me. I do not tolerate ignoant people what so ever. The things that come out of peoples mouths these days. I believe there are alot of people out there that it doesnt run in their families, and ya know it could happen to them like it did some of us. Didn't you just want to reach out and smack someone when they said that???

Anyways, welcome to the boards....

[dqmomof3]

Here's a good one in the ignorant column. Our DQ is doing a fundraiser for our upcoming JDRF walk - selling the paper sneakers. Each customer is asked to donate a dollar to diabetes research. Some do, some don't, which is fine. One guy at drive through came up to the window and said to one of my employees, "You know, it's really ridiculous for a DQ to be doing a fundraiser for diabetes research, considering what you sell. I find that offensive."

I so wish I had been the one he said that to...he might have found what I had to say to be offensive too!!

[Nelson]

For a statement so blatently insensitive and naieve, I would recomend the following type of response to shut them up and terminate the subject, at least as a serious topic of conversation:

"Of course we are planning on having more children. I am actually hoping to populate the world with diabetics. Since brains require gluose in the blood to function, diabetics are generally much smarter than other people because the brain has more energy. Also, diabetics provide better nurishment for mosquitoe moms that, with the extra energy, can lay more eggs and thus feed more fish and improve the availability of protein and omega-3 fatty acids in our diet."

Maybe we should start a thread about snappy answers to stupid questions? ;)

[StillMamamia]

"Of course we are planning on having more children. I am actually hoping to populate the world with diabetics. Since brains require gluose in the blood to function, diabetics are generally much smarter than other people because the brain has more energy. Also, diabetics provide better nurishment for mosquitoe moms that, with the extra energy, can lay more eggs and thus feed more fish and improve the availability of protein and omega-3 fatty acids in our diet."


LOVE IT...something I would say, right before hitting them over the head with my son's OneTouch Ultra...hmmm...not heavy enough...darn;)


PS - Your life, your choice, your call....

[twodoor2]

A former in-law thought that women were inferior beings to men, and only put on the planet to replicate (yes, he was born in the USA, and yes, he is a jerk). When my own brother had his second child, a girl, he asked me if my brother was ". . .disappointed about having another female child." I retorted back in a very calm manner the following, "geneticists are working on new technology to reproduce without a sperm cell, and therefore, the female oocyte will be able to reproduce on it's own through the science of cloning. Therefore, we will no longer have a use for men, so yes, my brother is ecstatic to be bringing another female child in the world." He shut up after that. I personally don't think his negative 14 I.Q. understood a word I just said. It makes me pretty unhappy that people like this waste the air we breathe. By the way, he left his wife, my husband's sister, after she had their second female child.

The thing was that he considered women to be inferior and unwanted and didn't appreciate the two healthy children he had. Now that made me furious. Children are a blessing no matter what their physical or mental limitations, or even if they are girls!!

[badshoe]

I stood up and told him that if my parents had followed that line of thinking my brothers and I wouldn't exist. How could HE know that one of us wouldn't be the one to discover the CURE. Then I walked out and never went back to that class and flunked it and didn't care. I'm fuming right now just thinking about it!! :mad::mad::mad:

Outstanding!

[shekov]

every now and then I surprise even myself. I look back upon that day as one of my absolute best ever. :D

[jendean]

I got the opposite when I told people that Nolans Dx put something of a damper on our desire for more babies. Possibly because D is like having a new baby that never matures... People thought I was irrational.
I dont know... I think it is a personal choice, and any diabetic child is just as deserving of life as any other child.

BTW. I am having a baby in August.
:o

[RosemaryCinNJ]

First and foremost I want to say WELCOME... I think those who are making those comments to you are rude and very ignorant. Diabetes does not run on either mine or my husbands side either and yet somehow we have this little angel who was put here in our lives to make us realize how lucky we are..Its funny because when I got pregnant with her, I was 40..I was soooo done having children and yet I guess I wasnt, so we said ok..and had every single test done to make sure this baby was ok and scans up the whazoooo..and she was! Then at 13 months, she was diagnosed.
Im sorry you have to hear those thoughtless comments. I do have a snappy comeback but I cant post it here..You do what is RIGHT for you and your husband...and in all honesty I think God sends his special children to those he knows will take the very best care of them. And thats us. And thats you!!!
Welcome again....Im glad you are here with us!
Rosemary in NJ

[Sallysweets]

I think everyone has pretty much summed up what I was thinking so I just want to say welcome to our very loving club:cwds:

[Heather(CA)]

I’m new here and I can’t believe I hadn’t come across this forum sooner. It would have answered a million questions. I’ve been reading all the posts and there is such a diversity of questions it’s amazing. A quick bio… I’m 29 and my husband is 33. No diabetes what so ever on either side of the family.
We have a 10 year old daughter named Samantha that was diagnosed at age 4.
2002 was the worst year of my life. My daughter was diagnosed in October and my mother passed away of cancer in November. Everyday that goes by is a miracle and I’m grateful for her. She amazes me what a wonderful, compassionate girl she has turned out to be. I can’t picture my life with out her.

Here is where I vent! My husband and I have discussed having another baby. We were among family and friends when a friend of the family said “why would I consider having another diabetic child?” Honestly, it took me by surprise, I was just thankful my daughter was no where near to hear such a comment. I get comments like this all the time, “I should test screen for genetics” before trying for another baby.
Have any of you ever dealt with such a thing, if so how do you deal with it?

First, I want to welcome you to the forums:D I'm really glad you found us...:D

As far as the incredably RUDE comment goes...I would calmly put it right back in her lap so that she would be the one who felt stupid and uncomfortable...So, I would say something like..."Wow, I didn't realize you were so uneducated on the subject(Confused look on your face) What would make so say something like that????" :rolleyes:

If she kept it up, it WOULD get UGLY...

[deafmack]

Sometimes people are just plain thoughtless. What an awful thing to say to someone. And it is none of their business if you want to have another child. With some of the things people say to me, I wonder what happened to their common sense.