O/T making the heart breaking Decision for family dog

[Deannas mom]

Im a mess...my dog, Deno (sounds like Dino) , (15 year old black lab/shepard mix). has been declining in health for the past year. His hearing is all but gone, he has catacacts, he has arthritis pretty bad in his back hips/legs. and lately he has been losing weight even tho he is eating like a horse. I know it's time to do the right thing, but it's killing me. Hes my shadow..my best friend..hes very much my dog, but has been a wonderful family dog. We made the decision to do it this weekend. my kids hate me, they dont think its fair even tho I have tried so hard to make them see its for his best intrest. My older DD understands, but Deanna...well Deno has been here longer than she has. they dont know life without him. It so hard to imagin the house without him in it.:( I dont know how im going to get through this.

[Mary Lou]

I am so sorry. We are just now enjoying having a dog in the house again after the heartbreak of our last dog who died on the table 3 years ago. I believe you are doing the right thing. It isn't fair or right to keep an animal in pain and discomfort just because you are unwilling to let them go. I can imagine this is beyond difficult for children to understand. Does your vet agree with your assessment?

I can't think of any titles off the top of my head, but I've purchased many wonderful story books for children's friends who have had to put pets down, maybe you could find something to make it a little easier for the children.

My prayers are with you.

[Bsbllmom]

Barb that is the hardest thing to do. We had to make that decision several years ago. Even though I knew it was right I was so mad at my husband for taking her. My thoughts are with you and your family during this difficult time.

[Deannas mom]

Yes the vet agrees its time, he's 15! that's really good for a large dog. and his arthritis is no longer responding to meds. he falls a lot and is very unsteady on his feet. He's still so damn happy to see me when I get home from work tho, it really kills me. my heart just breaks in two. Dogs are so wonderful, they love totaly with no conditions at all, even when they hurt, they are there to make you feel better.

[coni]

I'm so sorry. Your post brought tears to my eyes. We've only had our dog for a year, and I can't fathom life without him. He's truly a best friend - no judgments and always happy to be with me. My heart goes out to you.

[Kirsten]

I'm so sorry.

We were in your shoes last year when our 13 yo basenji was in kidney failure and stopped eating. Griffin was too young to understand, but my 10 year old son was devastated. Pippin slept with him at night and was with us before he was born.

I gave DS the option of going to the vet with me. He chose to go. He stepped out while they were giving the final injection, but was in the room for the rest. It gave him a chance to say good-bye and to mourn.

I feel that he was old enough to understand that we had a responsibility to Pippin to make his end as humane as possible and to be there for him at the end.

Kirsten

[MamaC]

Oh Barb (((hugs))).

I went through this 18 months ago with my best buddy Scout. We rescued her about 5 years ago, were told she was 2, but that was waaaay underestimated. We had been dog-free for a lot of years but I stumbled across her on the net and it was a sealed deal. She was the perfect dog for us at the perfect time. (I am a HUGE fan of all dogs.)

I told the kids when we got her that for as long as we had her, her life and ours would be better for it. And they were. But she had a stroke in May 06 (2006 was a CRAP year!), recovered a lot but not completely, and then went downhill fast after DD left for college. She had a tumor on her leg and probably other problems and ended up one morning in the yard unable to come back down the hill. I kept Tom home from school and called the vet. Tom carried her in off the hill. We sat with her for several hours.

I told them I didn't want any advice or options. Scout and I had an arrangement that I would always do the right thing by her. Tom carried her into the vet's office and he and I, along with the vet and the tech, sat on the floor and cried after they gave her the injection. I still cry every time I think about her.

Jenn was FURIOUS with me for doing it without letting her come home first (she'd been gone a month) but I didn't need the added drama.

I firmly believe that we have an obligation as pet owners to do the right thing for an animal whose quality of life cannot be restored. The picture I keep of Scout is one of her grinning her doggie grin, standing on the hill the day we brought her home.

This is one of those life experiences that we wish we could spare our kids and ourselves. But I know without a doubt that we are richer for having had the beastie.

I am right there with you.

Becky

[vettechmomof2]

I am very sorry for your family in having to deal with this decision.:(
It is never an easy thought even if it is for the best.
http://www.vet.cornell.edu/org/petloss/ This is Cornell's pet loss site. it might help you or your children hearing from others that all of these feelings are normal.
Good luck,
Allene

[Deannas mom]

Thank you all so much...now if I can just through the rest of the week. I have to waite until Sat because I cant do this alone..I have to have my DH with me.

[momtojess]

I am so sorry.. I am afraid we will be in this situation in the next year or so.. Our collie/retriver is 14 yrs old. We have noticed over the last year she is getting slower and slower, she limps more, isnt going upstairs anymore, isnt hearing as well etc.

I will be thinking of you this weekend.

[StillMamamia]

I so understand what you must be feeling...I've lost both dogs and cats before...and it was such a sad, sad feeling...animals really do become part of our families, don't they?

I think it is the best decision you can make...Deno has been living his 15 years next to (I'm sure) very loving people who cared for him like noone else...and not wanting him to suffer anymore, who can really blame you for that?

Will sound very corny...but when I look at the stars, I tell my sons those stars are the pets I used to have...and at night they come out to say goodnight...so I can sleep well.

[Jacob'sDad]

That's really sad. I have never had a dog. I'm a cat guy. I had one cat that was my favorite. He was my best friend. When he died people at work noticed I was acting sad and asked me what was wrong. I told them my best friend had died. They were like "OMG who's your best friend?" I said his name was "Pirate". I still miss him to this day and that was 12 years ago. It probably sounds silly. He was just a cat, but he was my friend.

[shirley83006]

so sorry for your loss. i know how it is to loose your best friend. they are family. and you did the right thing. now he is no longer suffering. anyways i know that is tuff right now but it will get easier as time goes. one day at a time. family pets are the best.

[zeb'smom]

We just went through this ourselves a few months ago. Gypsy was 11 1/2 and had been with us since Eric and I got married. It was very hard and my heart goes out to you....I know it was the right thing but I still miss her sometimes.

Robyn

[Lee]

:< :< :< :< -That is me being sad- sorry to hear about your buddy...

[OSUMom]

I'm so sorry. My pup is my "shadow" too. My dog is healthy and I still sometimes go to the place in my thoughts of the future if I ever have to put her down how heartbreaking. I really really feel for you. You're in my thoughts and prayers. Our animals are family. :cwds::cwds::cwds::cwds:

[Hollyb]

I'm so sorry, Barb. I've been through this twice and it's really sad and hard. And I really believe it's the kindest thing to do: the last act of love we can give them.

Our last dog was put to sleep on the operating table after the vet discovered his pancreas was wrecked -- about three weeks after Aaron's diagnosis. You can imagine... I held it together through Aaron's hospital stay, but I was a wreck over the dog.

[EmmasPapa]

My heart goes out to your family. Dino is a very special part of your lives and is very lucky to be a member of such a loving family.

We went through the same agonizing process 8 years ago with our 14 Y/O mini schnauzer. Coincidentally, Daffy (short for Daffodil) was a T1. She had been diagnosed at about 10 years of age and was on a 2 injection/day regimen. When her BG would get out of control she would spend a few days at the Vet's office getting what we called "doggie-dialysis." She went everywhere we went and had a great life, but age was not kind to her.

When the time comes, you just have to do it for the dog's sake. On the last morning of her life, a warm spring day, I took her out in the front yard and sat under a big oak tree and said my goodbye. I called our Vet and had him come to our house as Daffy never liked going to his clinic. I sat in my recliner with her curled up in my lap - just like she always did - while the Vet administered the shot. She went very peacefully, in her favorite spot and in her favorite chair.

It was a lot harder for me than it was for her.

[Abby-Dabby-Doo]

I didn't even read the other responses, it's too heartbreaking (as I'm spilling tears)! :(

Know your doing the right thing:cwds:. When you have a pet for so long, there just like one of the family.

We had our miniature toy poodle put down when we were both 14 (the dog and I). It's one of the harder deaths I've ever had to deal with. I haven't had a pet since. We had her cremated, my mom still has her ashes.

[hrermgr]

I'm sitting here at work with tears in my eyes. I know one day we'll need to probably make this same decision (our little pupper is 11 yrs old!) and I know I will be a puddle--like now! I feel for you and your family. But it sounds as if you are making a very well thought out decision. Wishing you the best during this difficult time....

[Lindy]

I feel your pain!! Shortly after Cooper was diagnosed - our big old cat Toby started to decline in health.. one vet gave us all this hope that we could turn things around... I was force feeding him with a big tube - giving him IV's... if you can imagine that scene.. it was heartbreaking.. I couldn't turn it around.. Here I was with a little boy newly diagnosed and my cat was dying, I was a mess! Making the decision to put him down - was heart wrenching - but he was so miserable... I still hate all of it and makes me mad at the vet... But, his passing was peaceful. DH brought him in and held him - then he brought Toby home and we all said goodbye before he brought him back to be cremated.

I'll be thinking of you this weekend... So sorry!

[Judy&Alli]

I'm so sorry!!!! we had made the dreaded decision last May. We made the appointment. This was the day after Mother's Day. My husband went and got filet mignon's for all the mother's including the dog (Madison). I cried as I watched her eat her "last supper" We didn't tell the kids, I couldn't bear it. The next day she perked up and my husband called the vet and cancelled. This morning we watched her fall twice and my husband asked if we need to go shopping and get her another filet. She is really bad and I know that we will be facing the same dilemma. She is 14 1/2 and ailing. I know it is the right decision but I can't face it. I admire you for your strength and will be praying for you. They are so much a part of the family! It is the most painful thing in the world. God bless your family as you grieve your friend!
Hugs!!!!!!!
Judy

[LJM]

I feel kind of weird that it took a dog story to make my first post. My son was diagnosed on Feb. 1, Type 1. Our 15 year old dog had been ailing for a little while, he started to refuse food and then his breathing became labored. He died just one month after our son's diagnosis, at home, with my son there as the dog's heart stopped beating.

Even though he suffered that last day, somewhat, I am glad that he did die at home with us. If he had ever been in obvious pain, we would have taken him to the vet. Don't hesitate to take him in if he is in deep trouble and hurting.

One thing I did note on our dog's death. I believe I received more genuine expressions of grief on his death that I did on our son's diagnosis. It seems that people are more easily able to express their feelings about a dog than they are able to grasp what we are going through with our son right now.

Thank you all for being so open about your children and struggles. I don't know that I am there yet, but I do appreciate the knowledge you share with each other.

[Deannas mom]

I feel kind of weird that it took a dog story to make my first post. My son was diagnosed on Feb. 1, Type 1. Our 15 year old dog had been ailing for a little while, he started to refuse food and then his breathing became labored. He died just one month after our son's diagnosis, at home, with my son there as the dog's heart stopped beating.

Even though he suffered that last day, somewhat, I am glad that he did die at home with us. If he had ever been in obvious pain, we would have taken him to the vet. Don't hesitate to take him in if he is in deep trouble and hurting.

One thing I did note on our dog's death. I believe I received more genuine expressions of grief on his death that I did on our son's diagnosis. It seems that people are more easily able to express their feelings about a dog than they are able to grasp what we are going through with our son right now.

Thank you all for being so open about your children and struggles. I don't know that I am there yet, but I do appreciate the knowledge you share with each other.


This is so very true..Deno is my pal, he been there for me through everything!! He's been such a wonderful and protective dog. Ohh and how jelious he was of joe-DH- for juch a long time! He mellowed up to joe over the years. Oh God im going to miss him

[Ivan's Mum]

oh how you're bringing back memories.

We had a black lab, she got to 16 and whilst the eyesite and heart were good, everything else was falling apart. She couldn't stand, we had to lift her back legs... at the end of the day we kept her around for us. She was always happy to see us but we didn't think about here. We eventually had to bit the bullet and call the vet. It's the only time I saw my Dad cry.

It was sad when it happened but it might make you happier to know this, I think she hung around after the event because for a few weeks we could feel her in other places in the house (like the downstairs, which she'd not been able to get to for years) and when my girlfriend stayed the night she swears the dog came in and licked her face in the morning. I used to hear her chain collar lift up when I came in, as thou she was laying on the floor in the sun and raised her head to greet me.

I was 15 years old, didn't believe in any of the above kind of stuff and quite blown away to have it happen around me. She'll always be around, just not in the flesh.

Lots of love to you and your family. It's going to be a sad time.

[Deannas mom]

Just wanted to thank everyone. I have never had to put down a pet before. I was at work when I first posted, I had just gotten off the phone with the vets office when I posted. Ive been crying all day and reading everyons posts have been a confort. Thank you all for your kind words. Why can't dog live as long as humans?:(

[Ivan's Mum]

Why can't dog live as long as humans?:(

Because they're smarter than us!

[Deannas mom]

oh how you're bringing back memories.

We had a black lab, she got to 16 and whilst the eyesite and heart were good, everything else was falling apart. She couldn't stand, we had to lift her back legs... at the end of the day we kept her around for us. She was always happy to see us but we didn't think about here. We eventually had to bit the bullet and call the vet. It's the only time I saw my Dad cry.

It was sad when it happened but it might make you happier to know this, I think she hung around after the event because for a few weeks we could feel her in other places in the house (like the downstairs, which she'd not been able to get to for years) and when my girlfriend stayed the night she swears the dog came in and licked her face in the morning. I used to hear her chain collar lift up when I came in, as thou she was laying on the floor in the sun and raised her head to greet me.


I was 15 years old, didn't believe in any of the above kind of stuff and quite blown away to have it happen around me. She'll always be around, just not in the flesh.

Lots of love to you and your family. It's going to be a sad time.

How wonderful it would be if My Deno stayed a while with us after.. I have a feelng he will be with my dad tho, my dad died of cancer 4 years ago, he loved Deno and Deno loved him, he would get so excited when my parents came over and even tho Deno was no lap dog, he would get as much of himself into my dads lap as he could. He would aslo drink my dad's beer, every time:D if my dad had a beer Deno would sit in front of him until my dad finaly gave in..lol.. after my dad died, and for the first several times my mom came over..Deno would look for my dad. he would run to the door and go past my mom looking at the car as if to say.."where granpa?" it was so sad for a while

[Ivan's Mum]

maybe they'll both come visiting.... better leave now to do the housework ;-)

[bz'smom]

Oh, I'm so sorry! I'll keep your family in my prayers!

[caspi]

Barb, I am so sorry that you have to go through this. I know how heartbreaking it is. 3 years ago we had to put down our beloved dog, Scooter, who was 12. I knew it would be hard, but I knew we were doing the right thing because we couldn't bear to see him suffer any longer.

Again, I am so sorry for you and your family!!!!!!!!!!!!!

{{{HUGS******

[hold48398]

Oh Barb :(. My heart is breaking for you :(. I am so sorry, honey.

My best girlfriend just had to put both of her 13-year old labs down within two months of eachother. They had them since they were 8 weeks old. She really clinged to the second lab and waited it out as long as possible, and after they put him to rest, she called me sobbingly saying that she had not seen her beloved dog looking so peaceful in a long time. She knew that it was time because he was suffering and his quality of life just wasn't there anymore. He went without a fight in her arms.

Our dogs are 10- and 9-years old. I dread the day when we will have to say goodbye. I too cannot imagine life without either one of them. I will give them an extra hug (and cookie) this Saturday.

(((((BIG BIG hugs to you and your family)))))

[lil'Man'sMom]

I am so sorry about Deno. We had to put our dog down this past July. Chloe was a ten year old golden, a very social girl and one day she just stopped eating and would only hang out with DH. The vet did x-rays and found a huge tumor is her stomach and fluid in lungs. It was a very sad day for our family. We too felt her presence in our home. At night I could hear her nails on the floor as she stretched. We miss her.

We have decided to get another dog this summer. We feel children need pets plus we live on a hill surrounded by woods so we like to have a dog to play with lil'Man outside (bears tend to not come around if they smell a dog.)

BIG((((((HUGS)))))))!

[Madisonsmom]

I am so sorry to hear this losing a pet is very gard. We lost our Bearded Collie Sam two years ago. This has brought back so many memories. will keep you and your family in prayer. :(

[Wendy12571]

Barb,
So sorry about Deno. We have a 12 going on 13 year old Jack Russel terrier, Penny. Penny has been my baby since we got her. She rode home in my hands all the way. Ate her first meal out of my hand. Last year the beginning of May we thought she had her period. Well when we finally took her into the vet. Luckily my 16 year old niece had her license and drove me there. She was very sick pup. She was so anemic the vet didn't think she would live. We ended up getting my sister in law to drive us to the Emergency hospital. She got a blood transfusion almost immediately. I called to check 4 hours after the transfusion started since the vet there told us she was minute to minute. The next day they found she had an infection in her uterus and fixed her. We picked her up that Monday. Luckily I had her sister, Lilly, here. We got her and she has done fine, but still slightly anemic. They cannot figure out why. We thought around thanksgiving she was going to die soon. Her hips were so sore. Well they did more blood work on Penny. Here her anemia had came back but not as bad. We decided just to put her on Prednisone for the anemia. She has done awesome on that. We are now at the point of weaning her off the med, but still doing better then she was in November. She goes next Friday for blood work. She is going to a be a hard one to make that decision for she is a great pup. I feel so bad for you.

[miss_behave]

I'm so sorry :( Maybe show your kids this, it always makes me cry, but its really beautiful

http://www.petloss.com/poems/maingrp/rbowx.gifRainbow Bridge http://www.petloss.com/poems/maingrp/rbowx.gif

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown...

[deafmack]

Just wanted to know you are in my thoughts and prayers. I had to put my cat to sleep last year after 23 years of companionship. It was so difficult even though I knew it was the best thing for him. I am sending many (((HUGS))) your way.

[Deannas mom]

Oh Barb :(. My heart is breaking for you :(. I am so sorry, honey.

My best girlfriend just had to put both of her 13-year old labs down within two months of eachother. They had them since they were 8 weeks old. She really clinged to the second lab and waited it out as long as possible, and after they put him to rest, she called me sobbingly saying that she had not seen her beloved dog looking so peaceful in a long time. She knew that it was time because he was suffering and his quality of life just wasn't there anymore. He went without a fight in her arms.

Our dogs are 10- and 9-years old. I dread the day when we will have to say goodbye. I too cannot imagine life without either one of them. I will give them an extra hug (and cookie) this Saturday.

(((((BIG BIG hugs to you and your family)))))

Hi Marisa..
Thank you so much, thank you everyone..
I have had Deno since he we 6 weeks old. A woman I knew had found deno's mom and the rest of Deno's litter mates on the side of the road, the mom had been hit by a car probably bringing on labor. The woman took the mom and pups to the nearest animal hospital, the mom didnt make it, but the six pups were ok. the woman took the pups home bottle nursed them and then started finding homes for them. When I went to her house to pick out a puppy, there were 3 left. Deno took one look at me and ran right up into my lap. I didn't pick him, he picked me :cwds: he's been at my side ever since. as im writing this now, he is laying by my feet. He sees me crying and lays his head on my feet. I think he knows why im sad. I know im dong what is best, but oh God its so hard to do.

[LJS118]

I am so so sorry ((big Hug))
You are doing the right thing, but I know its heart wrenching.
We have a puppy now(she's 7 months) but prior to that I had a dog 5 years ago. She was my baby, we got her right after we got married. She died suddenly at 9 years old, and it took me 5 years to be able to get another dog. They are totally a part of your family, better than people, cause they Love you so unconditionally.
I wish I knew what to say...:(

[susanH]

i'm very sorry you're going thru this; i had to do the same with a sweet cat i had for 18 years; it is tough.

please know what a wonderful loving safe life he had with you; so many neglected and unwanted, homeless poor animals out there---he was so lucky to have been adopted by you considering his sad beginning. you rescued deno and his life was as good as it gets here for a dog!!! good for you and your family and deno.

i'll keep you all in my prayers; this is just plain tough.

[suphillips]

I'm so sorry for your grief. Sometimes I think things like this are even harder for us DMs, we always have some stored grief waiting for displacement.

You may have seen this poem, but I offer it here, 'cause for some reason it helps, even though it'll make you cry your eyes out every time you read it. But sometimes that's just what we need.

The House Dog's Grave
Robinson Jeffers

I've changed my ways a little; I cannot now
Run with you in the evening along the shore,
Except in a kind of dream; and you, if you dream a moment,
You see me there.

So leave awhile the paw-marks on the front door
Where I used to scratch to go out or in,
And you'd soon open; leave on the kitchen floor
The marks of my drinking pan.

I cannot lie by your fire as I used to do
On the warm stone,
Nor at the foot of your bed; no all the nights through
I lie alone.

But your kind thought has laid me less than six feet
Outside your window where firelight so often plays,
And where you sit to read-and I fear often grieving form me-
Every night your lamplight lies on my place.

You, man and woman, live so long, it is hard
To think of you ever dying.
A little dog would get tired, living so long.
I hope that when you are lying

Under the ground like me your lives will appear
As good and joyful as mine.
No dears, that's too much to hope: you are not so well cared for
As I have been.

And never have known the passionate undivided
Fidelities that I knew.
Your minds are perhaps too active, too many-sided....
But to me you were true.

You were never masters, but friends. I was your friend.
I loved you well, and was loved. Deep love endures
To the end and far past the end. If this is my end,
I am not lonely. I am not afraid. I am still yours.

[Deannas mom]

I'm so sorry for your grief. Sometimes I think things like this are even harder for us DMs, we always have some stored grief waiting for displacement.

You may have seen this poem, but I offer it here, 'cause for some reason it helps, even though it'll make you cry your eyes out every time you read it. But sometimes that's just what we need.

The House Dog's Grave
Robinson Jeffers

I've changed my ways a little; I cannot now
Run with you in the evening along the shore,
Except in a kind of dream; and you, if you dream a moment,
You see me there.

So leave awhile the paw-marks on the front door
Where I used to scratch to go out or in,
And you'd soon open; leave on the kitchen floor
The marks of my drinking pan.

I cannot lie by your fire as I used to do
On the warm stone,
Nor at the foot of your bed; no all the nights through
I lie alone.

But your kind thought has laid me less than six feet
Outside your window where firelight so often plays,
And where you sit to read-and I fear often grieving form me-
Every night your lamplight lies on my place.

You, man and woman, live so long, it is hard
To think of you ever dying.
A little dog would get tired, living so long.
I hope that when you are lying

Under the ground like me your lives will appear
As good and joyful as mine.
No dears, that's too much to hope: you are not so well cared for
As I have been.

And never have known the passionate undivided
Fidelities that I knew.
Your minds are perhaps too active, too many-sided....
But to me you were true.

You were never masters, but friends. I was your friend.
I loved you well, and was loved. Deep love endures
To the end and far past the end. If this is my end,
I am not lonely. I am not afraid. I am still yours.

You poem was beautiful...my eyes are swollen form crying so much this week. But the love and compassion I have gotten from all my forum family has been a blessing. All of you are so wonderful