14yr boy - poor school

[kc7dji]

Hello everyone, Maybe this isn't the right forum but I thought I'd see what kind of responses I get. My son Chris is 14 (15 next month). He was diagnosed with type 1 last year at this time. This year he is doing TERRIBLE in school. He has failed about every class all year long. Not by much but the fact is, he is failing.

It took only a couple months to get him to be responsible about his diabetes health. He does ALL of his own glucose checking, port changes (he has the pump) and everything else required for his health. With that said I know somewhere in there he "has" some responsibility within. For the life of me I cannot get him to work hard in school. He is very social and hasn't ever been in any trouble and basically gets along with everyone.

I've drilled him and drilled him and drilled him. He will look you in the face and lie about having homework or completing his homework. I've dealt with EVERY teacher and I think I'm finally at a loss.

I know it's tough for anyone to give suggestions knowing what little I have described but I think what I'd really like to know is:

Has anyone tried out those learning development programs that may help him learn to learn? I think that's most of the problem. He just doesn't get time management and he doesn't get it when I try to tell him how to study and when to study. I hear those programs on the radio. I don't know the names of them but "where theres a will theres an A" comes to mind. I'd like to know if any of you have tried these type of programs and do they work?

Thanks a million!
Scott

[OSUMom]

Scott, try reposting this on Parents of Children with Type 1 there is more traffic on that forum and you'll likely to get more of a response there.

Does this seem to be more of a problem for your son since his Type 1 diagnosis? Do you think it's related - like he did very well in school before diagnosis?

Personally I have no experience with those programs like you've mentioned. Sorry your son is having difficulties - I know that's tough on you and him.

[susanH]

i have the same questions as OSUMom....i've no experience with the programs either. i really hope there's an answer for you both. it's been a year, i'd say.

[Ellen]

Has he been evaluated by a psychologist?

[AJsmom]

What grade is your son in? Is he in high school?

[skimom]

Hi there
I am a teacher and mom to a boy with similar issues. There are a few things you can try but it will tae some cooperation from you, your son and the teachers. If you talk to the teachers ahead of time and explain what you are trying to accomplish, they should be agreeable.I would also double check that he has been placed in the appropriate level courses (eg which math is he in? We have 3 highschool math streams here in Alberta)
First of all, get a daytimer-calendar which shows a month at a time. Your son must enter all dates of tests, project due dates etc in the calendar. The teacher for each class should initial.He should also have a running to-do list going (place in back of daytimer where he writes homework etc that he can cross off as it gets done) The calendar gets checked daily by you and if it is not done, SEND HIM BACK TO SCHOOL TO GET IT DONE (not sure if this is practical but if it is, do it). Have teachers wrok with you on this.
Secondly, find out if your child's teachers have anything posted online. Where I teach, we have all of our assignments etc posted on the internet along with due dates, practise tests etc, test days, current student marks etc. If your school has this, check the site regularly. Thirdly, check if you child's school offers time management and study skills workshops - many do and these are free and during school hours, as a rule.
You are dealing with a 14year old boy who, like most boys, can be very immature. You are right - his ability to manage D shows that the responsibility abilities are there - he knows that that part of this life is important, it is just getting him to understand that school is important too.
As far as the earlier suggestion re having him tested, leave that on the back burner please for now.Do not try and find an "excuse" for his behavior (that is a pet peeve of mine as testing should be done after all other avenues as exhausted). Have him set some achievable goals and REWARD HIM for reaching them. (eg improving marks on 3 tests in a row)

Good luck!

[Tamara Gamble]

At this age many times ADD shows up. My daughter all of a sudden in nineth grade started to fail everything, lied about alot of things. We took her to a child neuro psychologist and had her independantly tested. It came back that she had ADD as well as a sleep disorder. We were shocked. She never had any behavioral issues or academic issues prior. After doing extensive research, having her tested by three different doctors, and working with the school we found out that it was true. We also had a sleep study done on her and she was not getting any fourth stage sleep and very little REM. We had toncils removed and sides pinned to lateral wall (only a few surgeons do it this way) we saw alot of improvement. Unfortunately, it took a long time to get her past the self esteem issues that accompanied her poor grades. She is not medicated but we learned how to set her up for success in a different sort of way. It has worked. It took a long time but you can get a 504 or IEP in some cases to have your child accomodated if they have ADD as well as diabetes.

Hope this helps.

Tami

[mischloss]

Wow, this is so hitting home that I had to post. We are actually going for our first psychology evaluation tonight. bringing my son's test grades, class report card, discipline letters etc. Same with us. He is 12.5 years old. Diagnosed at 10. he was a stellar student up until the time of diagnosis, then the grades and homework assignment went south. They are recovering a bit now because we are so on top of his school agenda and scheduling.

Total procrastination when it comes to nightly homework. Waits until the last minute to accomplish anything. Have to do a reward and punishment system for him to get anything done. He is way into socializing and skateboarding. Takes care of his D pretty much okay. Doesn't like to check bg as often as we would want. Doesn't want to take a bg monitor with him when going out with friends. Just WAG's any bolus that he needs if he is eating out. :rolleyes:

Starting the back talking too. I am putting it down more to puberty rearing it's ugly head but still with the organization and other issues we are having him evaluated for ADD just in case. He has not shown sign of being hyper, just "tuned out" so to speak. Also always has been a fidgety sleeper.

We are giving him Omega 3-6-9 supplements. started about a month ago, and we have noticed a good improvement with his concentration. But doesn't seem to work on the back talk! :D

[LantusFiend]

I was like that too. Keep in mind that he's probably upset and frustrated like you are; in most schools and with most circles of friends, flunking makes people feel stupid. It's not something they do on purpose.
If time management is the big issue, then Executive Function is the defecit you are probably looking at and you want to find a professional who works with that.

[Lisa P.]

There's a great book called "Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Matter More Than Peers" by Gordon Neufeld. Not trying to start a debate on parenting styles, but he has a theory about kids and peer orientation at schools, it explains a lot of the behavior you see in kids when they enter school and then when the peer culture ramps up in adolescence. No matter how good your kid is, or smart, or responsible, your priorities are no longer their priorities, what matters is the priorities of the kids around them, and it's an incredibly strong force.

[John's mom]

I just came to this site in a desperate attempt to see if there are any other parents struggling with this same issue. My son is 17, he was diagnosed 5 years ago. As you know life is the never the same. I would love to say that we just went on, life as usual but that was not possible. I think we have to embrace the fact that the minute our children are given that diagnosis it forever alters their life. John's grades did an almost immediate nose dive but I was so focused on the physical aspects I was not paying enough attention to his school problems. I do know that when he was still in middle school I met with the Principal, teachers asking for help but was made to feel like I was making too big a deal out of it. So began the battle,arguements, begging and threatening. To be sure some of it was normal teenage angst but in my gut I felt something else was not right.
We have recently started seeing a new Endrocrinologists. He is awesome and his staff immediately bonded with John. In one of our first conversations he asked John how he did in school. John admitted not too well, the Doc asked why and John said he didn't know. The Doc then asked me if the school had ever tested John. What??? The school?
I am now on a fact finding mission and what I am finding is both upsetting and comforting. Make no mistake there is a direct link between diabetes and cognitive dysfunction. The problem is I can not get the school on board or to even consider the idea. I met with them last week and for the 3rd year in a row they gave me the list of all the things John and I need to do. The very things we have done over and over and thatare not working. But I think that they are only trying to cover up that they have done nothing. I knew when they said D's & F's weren't that bad I was in trouble. If that is the best that he can do then I will accept it but I am not willing to take a chance that with a little work on their part he could be doing better.
So I continue to do my research and am pretty sure that they have to do the testing I am requesting. I had to submit a formal letter, which I did and now I am looking for information to back it up.
The more I read though the worse I feel. I mean there is a chance that if I had known all this earlier, if the school had done their job and monitored him these last few years did not have to be so awful. It is like being mad at them because their levels are off. We wouldn't think of it. But the reality is that even when they are doing thier best thier levels change, that change causes them to be moody, tired, have headaches, effects thier abibilty to comprehend, etc. So if they are not getting in the class room how are they suppose to do the homework??? They can't put it into words, they are embarressed, they feel stupid so they get angry and shut down.
Don't give up until you have exhausted all avenues. And be kinder to him. Keep in mind it really may not be his fault. I will never forgive myself if it turns out he does have some level of learning disability from the diabetes and I never knew, never supported him. You're son is younger, you still have time to get the testing done and set him up for success at school.
I don't know how this is going to end but I won't stop until we figure it out.
Start by finding out what the school must legally do to help him. Look up the Child Find Law, have an 504 Plan set up and see what else you can find. Check with the American Disability Act.
If you find anything new let me know. I will do the same.
Good luck!!

[mikesmom58]

I feel the same way John's Mom does. My 14 y.o. was never a good student, just average grades. Once he was diagnosed last year, we noticed not only lower grades but a completely "I don't care" attitude. We know he suffers from depression and he was on medication up until last year when he stopped taking it as it wasn't helping him. We tried to get him an IEP but were turned down twice. I blame the school for his poor grades. They are completely clueless how to deal with a type 1 child who's struggling with emotional issues as well as having this chronic disease that needs constant monitoring. Tonight he finally graduated from the 3 years of hell called "Middle School". I am praying that high school will change his out look, his academic performance and his attitude. If nothing improves after the first marking period, I am taking action because I can't just sit around and let him fail the next 4 years. I don't have any advise so I'm sorry but I just want you to know that there are other kids having problems in school like yours. We must be an advocate for our child because I don't feel the schools really care or have the time to worry about every single kid with problems.

[linda]

Hi-There are so many issues that can be effecting Chris at this time. Age, hormones, responsibility of D, pressures at school....It is good that Chris is independent with his D care, curious how have his BG's been?....has he gotten a physical latly? Checked all of the obvious? sight and hearing? Has he shown any clues of behavior changes besides his grades?...maybe he is having issues with somthing he may be more comfortable talking to an outsider about? have you gone to school guidance?...
Hope this helped.

[TEXSONMOM]

Just a thought - my son was diagnosed at 16 and had some of the same issues. He was a straight A honor student before D. During all of this he was diagnosed with Hashimoto's and once we got his thyroid turned back on with synthroid his concentration and motivation improved. Also when his BG was running high he also had concentration issues.

[John's mom]

Well I got a call from the school today and am surprised at how much resistance I getting from them. I have found some good valuable research on Diabete, Cognitive Function, and School Performance. It helps explain what happens to these kids when they have a high or low period. It can their bodies up to 90 minutes for them to return to "normal". The woman from the school asked if all of this could'nt just be taken care of with insulin??? IF ONLY!!! I tried to explain to her that just his being there, in school, sitting for hours has an effect on him. His levels are better when he is moving around, ambulatory. But that one question told me everything I needed to know about what I am in for. They do not have a clue.
At his last MD appt they did check his thyroid levels and he was fine. He is not depressed. He is very outgoing, has a part time job he loves, he is in a band with his friends. But there is something esle going on and we need to find out what it is. I was sad to hear that your school denied the testing. That is shocking. Not that it isn't done but that they do not have the childs best interest. The is the Child Find Law that basically states it is the school responsibility to seek out a child with low grade, despite the level of their disability and to assist that child. But they have a way with words when you try to use it in the school. THere is at least one case where the parent was denied testing, had it done privately and then went on to sue the school for the cost of the testing. But that takes so much energy.
I will let you know if I find anymore info that might help.


It is what it is..............

[Alba37]

Hi everyone

I just wrote a long post & lost it! :mad:

I was saying I have the same problem with my 15 year old. I'll post again with details. I just wanted to say hi now and say I'm glad I'm not alone.

Any links to info on school performance & diabetes would be much appreciated.

Thanks

A x