21 year old son won't carry supplies

[katie.c]

I'm new here and I'm really stuck on what to do. :(
My son Damian (21, almost 22, but doesn't act like it), won't carry his diabetes supplies with him when he goes out. He doesn't want to be seen with a "purse" :rolleyes: and he can't fit everything in his pockets. He was just diagnosed with diabetes so I know it's a new thing for him and he doesn't seem to understand how serious it can get. I also have a younger son with diabetes and he puts everything in a backpack but I don't think Damian would deal with that either. I'd really love to hear if anyone has suggestions on how to get him to take some stuff with him, even if its just testing supplies and emergency glucose for now. :)

[Nancy in VA]

Sorry to hear of your struggles. I don't have one that age so I don't have a lot of advice, but have you looked at maybe the OneTouch Ultra mini. Its pretty small and might fit in his pocket, especially if its not in the case. Don't have many other ideas.

[Ellen]

Who pays for his living expenses, his car, his car insurance etc.?

[katie.c]

Sorry to hear of your struggles. I don't have one that age so I don't have a lot of advice, but have you looked at maybe the OneTouch Ultra mini. Its pretty small and might fit in his pocket, especially if its not in the case. Don't have many other ideas.


I'm sure that would still be "too big". Damian has problems with having anything bigger than a pen in his pocket just because of the lump (every little thing can be seen with tight pants). I've tried showing him every meter imaginable and he just doesn't like any of them because of the size. But thanks so much. It's nice to know that people actually care. :)

[katie.c]

Who pays for his living expenses, his car, his car insurance etc.?

Sadly, he does. If I could try using that to get him to behave, I would. Damian pays for all of his stuff though. He only stays with me and his dad because he isn't used to the whole diabetes thing yet. He's probably moving out within the next month because living with your parents is "gross", so I'm getting a bit scared about what's going to happen with him soon in regards to his health.:(

[Nancy in VA]

Is there a network that you could reach out to in your area to introduce him to another young-adult diabetic guy he could bond with?

[Boo]

Is it winter where you live? If so, at least for the time being he could carry some supplies in his coat pockets.

I have seen keychains which hold a few glucose tabs...certainly better than nothing.

This is a tough one...he needs to grow up now and accept responsibility. I know...easier said than done! I guess your younger son hasn't been able to talk any sense into him yet either?!

I assume he is on injections?

[blbrocky]

My son is sixteen and carries a sport pack (smaller than a back pack). They are thin packs to carry basketball shoes etc. around in. He carries his meter, glucose tabs, and extra supplies. He is pumping which is lots easier but still needs to carry his stuff with him. He's not happy about it but we still have some control as he is under age.

Your son will come around.

[katie.c]

Is there a network that you could reach out to in your area to introduce him to another young-adult diabetic guy he could bond with?

I was thinking about something like that but he has a really supportive group of friends around him all the time, and lots of other friends that would still put a lot of effort into helping him out when he needs it. He probably knows at least one other person around his age with diabetes but they're either kind of far away or just someone he's run into a few times. I really appreciate the help though. I'll probably look into something like that for him.



Is it winter where you live? If so, at least for the time being he could carry some supplies in his coat pockets.

I have seen keychains which hold a few glucose tabs...certainly better than nothing.

This is a tough one...he needs to grow up now and accept responsibility. I know...easier said than done! I guess your younger son hasn't been able to talk any sense into him yet either?!

I assume he is on injections?

He's on a pump right now but I have a feeling he's just going to go back to injections. And yeah, it's winter here but Damian won't wear a coat unless its freezing cold and he has to be outside for more than 20 minutes. That's just another thing I have to convince him to do...
I know he's never going to fully grow up and I'm never going to get to say he's a "responsible young adult". He just acts too much like a kid. But somehow it makes me love him even more. My younger son hasn't been able to change Damian's mind at all even after his little lectures and bribes (mostly involving sugar-free candy and toy cars :rolleyes: ) I guess it's just going to take some time and arguing to deal with this.




My son is sixteen and carries a sport pack (smaller than a back pack). They are thin packs to carry basketball shoes etc. around in. He carries his meter, glucose tabs, and extra supplies. He is pumping which is lots easier but still needs to carry his stuff with him. He's not happy about it but we still have some control as he is under age.

Your son will come around.



I'm getting fed up with every bag suddenly becoming a "purse", including the men's Louis Vuitton bags he used to be so attracted to. I'm going to ask him if he wouldn't totally HATE the idea of something even smaller than a backback. But I have the most stubborn son on the planet so who knows... I wish he was just a couple of years younger so I could kind of make him do things even if it seems mean and evil of me.
Thanks for the encouragement. :)

[OSUMom]

My son loves anything Adidas. He's willing to carry around a back sack thing like this, but I know this is only for class, working out at the gym, etc...http://www.dickssportinggoods.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2592646&cp=1786148&sr=1&origkw=adidas+sack&kw=adidas+sack&parentPage=search&searchId=22896043453
I think he uses his pockets a lot. I know he didn't use to carry anything for lows until recently when he had a scary low with nothing in class. :o It might just take a situation like that for him to learn. I know sometimes I can talk until I'm blue in the face and I feel like I'm just not being heard.

I'm learning myself to just try to be positive, affirming and supportive. The nagging is just not working for me at least. :rolleyes:

This age is so hard. We love them so much, but they're so independent. My heart goes out to you. You're certainly not alone! {{{hugs******

P.S. My son is part of some Type 1 thing on facebook, but I don't think it's very active.

[katie.c]

My son loves anything Adidas. He's willing to carry around a back sack thing like this, but I know this is only for class, working out at the gym, etc...http://www.dickssportinggoods.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2592646&cp=1786148&sr=1&origkw=adidas+sack&kw=adidas+sack&parentPage=search&searchId=22896043453
I think he uses his pockets a lot. I know he didn't use to carry anything for lows until recently when he had a scary low with nothing in class. :o It might just take a situation like that for him to learn. I know sometimes I can talk until I'm blue in the face and I feel like I'm just not being heard.

I'm learning myself to just try to be positive, affirming and supportive. The nagging is just not working for me at least. :rolleyes:

This age is so hard. We love them so much, but they're so independent. My heart goes out to you. You're certainly not alone! {{{hugs******

P.S. My son is part of some Type 1 thing on facebook, but I don't think it's very active.



Those might just work. Theres no way anyone could say it's a purse.
I would do anything to get Damian to use his pockets even for little things once in a while. Too bad I'll never be able to get him to wear cargos or anything like that. He's had a couple of pretty bad lows before but luckily he was at the mall and it took him about 5 seconds to find somewhere to buy Coke or Skittles. I'm dreading when it happens in the middle of nowhere one day...
I've been trying hard to be supportive and not nag him but if I say something more than once I'm "harassing" him and his sister takes his side too, so I never win those battles.
It makes me feel so much better knowing that theres other people who know exactly what it's like and that it can be pretty scary sometimes. I just wish nobody had to deal with anything like this at all. :)

[blbrocky]

There are a few young adult forums that might help get him on board.

[Hollyb]

Aaron does wear pretty tight pants sometimes, but he has a roll of glucose tabs in one pocket and his meter case in the other pretty much all the time (the meter will go in his backpack if he's carrying one). If your son had a freestyle mini (really small meter and lancer) and maybe had something small to keep a few strips in, that would be quite discrete in a pocket.

The advantage of your pants pockets is you don't have to think about where your stuff is or whether you've left it behind. It's just on you. But it's true, it does bulge.

Is your son recently diagnosed? I hate to say something this tough, but i may take one bad scary low to reinforce the need to at least carry glucose with him.

[hypercarmona]

Has he looked into the Sidekick meter? I carried that for a while when I worked because it was so tiny and disposable (and cheap!:rolleyes:). They're about the size of a roll of film. The meter is in the cap on the bottle of strips, and there is enough room inside the bottle for a lancet to fit as well. This is the website of the manufacturer.http://www.homediagnostics.com/products-sidekick.asp (http://http://www.homediagnostics.com/products-sidekick.asp) They aren't the best for accuracy, but it's better than not testing or not having anything at all.

There is also a neat glucose keyring that holds 4 tabs. I bought mine online a long time ago, but cannot remember which site. I also liked the glucose gel packs (GlucoBurst is the name of it) , instead of the rolls of tabs or the tubes of gel, because they are flatter and fit in a pocket better.

[Nana]

What about some kind of a belt bag? Something like this: http://www.gamblewear.com/images/maxambeltbag.jpg

[MelissaC]

My DD is only 6 so I am faaar away from this experience and I can only think it is easier for gilrs ot carry their stuff around since they already carry purses...

Have you heard about the glucaphone? A phone and BS monitor all inone? That might be an option and then maybe the keyriong the other mom posted about that hodl a few glucose tabs? I think the strips for the gulcaphone are from freestyle (but dont quite me on that!)... just a thouhgt - good luck!

[Ellen]

It sounds like the topic of why he doesn't want to carry anything is the most important to explore. There must be ambivalence between knowing something could happen and he doesn't have backup glucose/insulin and hoping/thinking it'll never happen. I would want to understand his thought process. I would also want to understand how he feels about driving and that he not only puts himself in danger, but those on the road around him are also in danger if he goes low. The bumper sticker "$&(# happens" - may be a launching point for the discussion.

[Boo]

it's winter here but Damian won't wear a coat unless its freezing cold and he has to be outside for more than 20 minutes. That's just another thing I have to convince him to do...

Ah crap...you mean I'm going to be having the same coat argument for at least 9 more years?! I thought it wa just my senseless, equally stubborn 12 year-old. Never thought I'd still be flapping my gums about the lack of proper outerwear in 9 more years!! :rolleyes:

[katie.c]

Aaron does wear pretty tight pants sometimes, but he has a roll of glucose tabs in one pocket and his meter case in the other pretty much all the time (the meter will go in his backpack if he's carrying one). If your son had a freestyle mini (really small meter and lancer) and maybe had something small to keep a few strips in, that would be quite discrete in a pocket.

The advantage of your pants pockets is you don't have to think about where your stuff is or whether you've left it behind. It's just on you. But it's true, it does bulge.

Is your son recently diagnosed? I hate to say something this tough, but i may take one bad scary low to reinforce the need to at least carry glucose with him.

I guess I'll just go out and get gim a freestyle mini or something around that size and if he doesn't like it there's not much else I can do. I finally convinced him to carry around SOME kind of glucose all the time though, so it's a start. And yes, he was recently diagnosed (right before Christmas :( ) so he still has a lot of things to get used to... I've been so worried just because I'm thinking about when he actually does have a really scary low. And with his luck nobody would be around to help. I'm so glad there's other people that can manage to fit things in the pockets of their tight pants. I was starting to worry that it would be impossible.




Has he looked into the Sidekick meter? I carried that for a while when I worked because it was so tiny and disposable (and cheap!:rolleyes:). They're about the size of a roll of film. The meter is in the cap on the bottle of strips, and there is enough room inside the bottle for a lancet to fit as well. This is the website of the manufacturer.http://www.homediagnostics.com/products-sidekick.asp (http://http://www.homediagnostics.com/products-sidekick.asp) They aren't the best for accuracy, but it's better than not testing or not having anything at all.

If you know, could you give me an idea of how inaccurate the sidekick meter is? I'm not super concerned about it, but if the number isn't all that accurate I'd be a little worried. It would suck if it was way off. But it sounds like a good idea, even just for once in a while.




My DD is only 6 so I am faaar away from this experience and I can only think it is easier for gilrs ot carry their stuff around since they already carry purses...

Have you heard about the glucaphone? A phone and BS monitor all inone? That might be an option and then maybe the keyriong the other mom posted about that hodl a few glucose tabs? I think the strips for the gulcaphone are from freestyle (but dont quite me on that!)... just a thouhgt - good luck!


Thanks. :) I've heard of the glucaphone a few times, but I don't think it would fit onto any of my son's phones. Do you know if it works in Canada or not? Or if it could somehow be put on an American phone plan and used over here?



It sounds like the topic of why he doesn't want to carry anything is the most important to explore. There must be ambivalence between knowing something could happen and he doesn't have backup glucose/insulin and hoping/thinking it'll never happen. I would want to understand his thought process. I would also want to understand how he feels about driving and that he not only puts himself in danger, but those on the road around him are also in danger if he goes low. The bumper sticker "$&(# happens" - may be a launching point for the discussion.


He knows what could happen, but it's one of those "I don't care" things with him... And we're not dealing with the driving issue yet because he has epilepsy too, and can't drive until the seizures are controlled. I don't think he's even that interested in driving anymore, in case something happens. I think half of the reason he doesn't want to carry anything with him is because it draws attention to the diabetes. Damian hates people worrying about him for "no reason" and if he were to suddenly tell one of his friends he was low or something like that it would just make them worry, and make him want to ingore it even more. His dad and I, and then his friends, are going to try to talk to him. Hopefully we can get everything sorted out soon.



Ah crap...you mean I'm going to be having the same coat argument for at least 9 more years?! I thought it wa just my senseless, equally stubborn 12 year-old. Never thought I'd still be flapping my gums about the lack of proper outerwear in 9 more years!! :rolleyes:


Aw, don't worry. I'm sure if your son was really cold he would at least put on an extra hoodie or something. Maybe he'll grown out of the "I hate coats" thing faster than Damian. But it's pretty normal, and it's definitely not just your kid. 9 years seems like forever but kids grow up so fast that it's going to be here in no time at all. Then maybe he'll just put on something warm without you asking. At least it's just a coat and not pants or something even worse.

[Ellen]

I've been thinking about how difficult it must have been for your son to get the diagnosis of diabetes on top of the epilepsy at this point in his life. What a struggle it must be to integrate so many medical expectations while still trying to be an emerging adult.

[Momof4gr8kids]

Does your son drive and have his own car? Maybe he could keep at least glucose and a tester in his glove box. That would be better then not having anything at all.

[katie.c]

I've been thinking about how difficult it must have been for your son to get the diagnosis of diabetes on top of the epilepsy at this point in his life. What a struggle it must be to integrate so many medical expectations while still trying to be an emerging adult.


Somehow he's been handling everything EXCEPT the diabetes fairly well. It's just the one thing he can't deal with. I feel really pathetic for not being able to help enough. :( To him the epilepsy is easier because it's "just taking some pills and lying down once in a while." He also has horrible asthma on top of everything else, but he still thinks treating it is easier than treating the diabetes. I just feel like I'm not doing anything right when I try to help him out and he gets frustrated when I try to make things a little bit easier because I apparently don't understand how he feels AT ALL. I just wish I could do something good for once.




Does your son drive and have his own car? Maybe he could keep at least glucose and a tester in his glove box. That would be better then not having anything at all.


He does have his own car, but doesn't drive because of other things right now. But I'll make sure there's always glucose and a meter and test strips in his car when he starts driving again.

[OSUMom]

Please Katie don't beat yourself up. You're a very caring mother - your posts here on this board show your willingness and your action to help your son! My son is 20 and there is often only so much we can do in certain areas. Trust me I know! :cwds:

Keep the faith!!!

[Ellen]

It sounds like just listening to him vent is supportive. It's going to take time for him to accept the diabetes. How is his rapport with the endocrinologist?

[Mom2Will]

How about cargo pants, they have lots of pockets, big pockets. My oldest son is non D but loves those pants

[katie.c]

Well these last few days have been terrible. ALL of the progress Damian had been making just went down the drain. Thursday night his pump just stopped working. :( I can already tell we're going to have to go back to square one with everything. He actually started taking a few things with him too, and now he doesn't want to check his BG or anything. It's going to be even worse trying to get him to do it again after things keep going wrong. I really wish someone would find a cure for diabetes. Or at least a way of handling it that can't get screwed up. :mad:

[skimom]

I think that maybe you had better talk to your endo and see about your son talking to someone as it strikes me that there is a bigger issue in the background here.My 17 year old goes through some real funks where he basically has resigned himself to dying early so why not just live life how you want as it will be a short ride...On those days it is all I can do to keep my calm- we talk lots about how the whole situation sucks (sometimes I'm doing the talking) but by doing this the D wins. Other days, he just goes along like D is just a big inconvenience and will really try to get things together. The endo talked to him howa pump is a privelege which requires maturity and responsibility and perhaps he needed a pump holiday. THat shocked him that she was so candid with him and he has been a bit better later in cooperating. He luckily isn't too worried about what people think if his pockets are full of stuff (no he wouldn't wear a man-purse but he does carry some sugar and the stuff for his cozmonitor- if he's at school it is in his backpack butotherwise, it is in his pockets) It is tough because we are truly helpless - they have to want things to be good otherwise it becomes a nagfest.

Keep plugging away mom - you are doing great and hopefully he will come around

[katie.c]

I think that maybe you had better talk to your endo and see about your son talking to someone as it strikes me that there is a bigger issue in the background here.My 17 year old goes through some real funks where he basically has resigned himself to dying early so why not just live life how you want as it will be a short ride...On those days it is all I can do to keep my calm- we talk lots about how the whole situation sucks (sometimes I'm doing the talking) but by doing this the D wins. Other days, he just goes along like D is just a big inconvenience and will really try to get things together. The endo talked to him howa pump is a privelege which requires maturity and responsibility and perhaps he needed a pump holiday. THat shocked him that she was so candid with him and he has been a bit better later in cooperating. He luckily isn't too worried about what people think if his pockets are full of stuff (no he wouldn't wear a man-purse but he does carry some sugar and the stuff for his cozmonitor- if he's at school it is in his backpack butotherwise, it is in his pockets) It is tough because we are truly helpless - they have to want things to be good otherwise it becomes a nagfest.

Keep plugging away mom - you are doing great and hopefully he will come around


My son's the same way. He's just convinced that he's not going to live past 45, and theres no point taking care of himself just to live for a few more years. It breaks me heart to see anyone like that. Damian's dad and I both make sure we're there for him when he needs to talk, and he sees a therapist. He has friends that get up at 2 am just to come hug him and listen when he needs to let everything out. But he never wants to talk about how he feels, so nobody really knows what to do. He hasn't even told most of the people he knows that he has diabetes. I'm trying to find some kind of group thing for him so he has other people with diabetes to talk to. Maybe he'll open up a bit more for them. I've done everything I can think of and I don't know what else to do. Thanks for all the encouragement though.:)

[wdhinn89]

Sorry Mom. ((hugs))


When my son goes out for only a little while, he just puts candy in his pocket.

When my son goes to a party he takes his clicker and a few test strips in a camera memory card case (he is on the cozmo pump and uses a cozmoniter so no meter needed) and some skittles in his pocket.

[Hamtaro]

I think a deltec cozmo pump would be best for him because the cozmonitor meter is directly attached. That just leaves strips and lancets to carry.


You mentioned Canada. I just got my second pump, and it was covered by the new Ontario government adult pump program (new as of this September). They also provide a grant for 2,500 per year to fund pump supplies.

[Daxdog]

The freestyle flash is small....
http://www.diabeticglucosemonitors.com/images/freestyle-flash.jpg