Playdates for preschoolers - how do you handle?

[selketine]

My son William is about 4.5 yrs old - dx'd at 26 months and pumping. He stays home with me and we often have kids over to play. Recently he was invited to a neighbor's house to play with their son and she is well aware of his diabetes. To make it a more confusing he is also VERY allergic to peanuts - contact allergic. So always possible in someone's house he could brush up against some stray peanut butter.

I felt like I had to leave his epipens there just in case - and I spent a few minutes showing her how to use them. An allergic reaction is SO swift and deadly that it would be crucial to get that shot right away. I left some glucose tabs and gel too with instructions to call me if he seemed out of it or at all acting funny. I live just around the corner so I could be there fast.

I feel like I would overwhelm someone who wants to have William over for a playdate - I'm going to totally stifle his social life due to the diabetes and peanut allergy:( I can't tell if the parent would rather know more or know less about William's medical needs. I don't want to scare them yet some things (especially to do with the peanut allergy) are essential.

So I guess the question is - do you let your kids play over at neighbor's houses if they are too young to care for themselves? How much do you expect the other parents to know about taking care of your child (finger sticks, glucose tabs, giving insulin, etc).

[BrendaK]

Good question!!! When Carson was very young, I would always go with him to his friends houses for playdates. It was a good chance for me to socialize too, with other moms.

Now that Carson is a little older (he'll be 6 next week), he can check his own blood sugar and that's allowing him to be more independent. He has a new friend from our church and I've been letting him go over to their house. I sat down with the mom and showed her the very basics and she was willing to learn.

When he goes over to their house, I tell the mom what time he needs to be checked. Carson will check his blood sugar and the mom will call me with the number. I can give her instructions over the phone for what to do next. It is very easy to walk her through a bolus over the phone if he needs insulin. Does your son know when he is low? That has also been a help to us -- the older Carson gets the more he recognizes when he's low and makes me feel better about leaving him somewhere.

I know what you mean, too, about the peanut allergy. My younger son, Henry is severely allergic to peanuts, tree nuts, cats and dogs. He is much more difficult to take to friends houses. He can't go to anyone's house with animals. And he'll eat food off the floor -- so if someone hasn't vacuumed, who knows what's on the floor! I found him in the basement of a friends house the other day eating Honey Nut Cheerios (a generic brand). I about had a heart attack -- but did you know that there are absolutely no nut products in Honey Nut Cheerios??? Thank goodness for artificial flavorings -- at least in that product!!!

[ann-lolly]

My daughter is 5 yrs. old and diabetic since Dec. she has only gone to one persons house to play and it was my sister-in-law who did all the checking and making sure my daughterwas ok. I taught her how to check her and she knew how to treat a low---I wrote a breaf note on what needed to be done. My sister-in-law was very interested in learning and I could tell she would take very good care of my daughter. if your neighbor is aware of the peanut allery and how to take care of the diabetes, I would give it a try for a short playdate to start. I know for me, it was harder for me to trust someone else with myt child. No one can care for them the way I do but I could tell that my sister-in-law would take care of her with no problem. i would make sure a parent knew how to take care of my child and I guess with the pump,(we have not started that yet) if my child was having a snack, the parent would have to know how to give the insulin. Anyway, good luck.

[kristy]

I am also in the same boat. Lexie has not been allowed to go to friends houses w/o me simply because I am afaid that they would not watch her as closely as I do. My husband and I hardly even go out without her! Now she is on the pump, which takes away some of the anxiety if she was in need of insulin, but she still has not idea when a low is coming on. This gives me great anxiety!! I guess we are taking it on a day-to-day basis now. I am sure that I am being over-protective, but if me being around can help prevent a probem from happening, then she will just have to put up with her mom hanging around for now. I am sure there will be a day that she doesn't want me...we will cross that bridge when we get there.

[selketine]

I let William go over to this person's house cause I know her very well (and are older sons are the same age just as our younger ones are the same age - so William's older brother was with him).

I have usually stayed with William in the past but I wasn't sure this time if she wanted me to stay or not. Frankly she has not had William over to play since he was dx'd (her son always comes to our house). I knew she wouldn't feed William anything at all except what I gave her yet they do eat peanut butter a lot so I felt like I needed to leave the epipens just in case of a contact reaction (from a smear of pb left on a table or something).

William does not recognize his lows and often doesn't act very different....perhaps a bit more spacey or tired. It seems to me that outside of family members or daycares that most kids don't really start doing play dates outside the house until they can care for themselves more.

[Dana]

I always go with Iris too. It is a fun chance for me to hang out with other moms. They don't mind at all. We will probably keep it this way for awhile still. But now she is starting to talk about sleepovers. She has only spent the night at her grandparents house. They know what to do. Don't know when I would get to the point to let her spend the night at a friend's house yet.